The Science Of Love: How We Fall In Love & What Makes It Last

Love

Turns out, there's a real, scientific reason people fall — and stay — in love.

There's no question that falling in love is one of the greatest feelings in the world. But that doesn't mean that it can't get complicated from time to time.

What's really interesting is that there is actually a science to love — how we fall in love, as well as why some relationships are more successful and more fulfilling than others.


RELATED: How Being In Love Affects Your Brain (Says Science)


Love can be a significantly mind-altering feeling! It comes with highs and lows, happiness, and yes, even that butterfly sensation you get in your stomach at the sight of your new beau.

But what exactly causes those feelings? And how can you learn to separate love from lust — real love from simple attraction?

YourTango's Senior VP Melanie Gorman speaks with author Dr. Sue Johnson, Marriage/Couples Counselor Gal Szekely, LMFT Dr. Rita DeMaria, and LCSW Marni Feuerman about the different ways that we can use the science of love to improve our own relationships and make them stronger in the YourTango Experts video above.

Love is a natural part of life; there is actually a hormone that activates the minute that you find yourself falling for someone. It activates our ability to stay with and protect the people we care about. These hormonal changes cause you to end up getting starry-eyed over the connection that you feel, even if you don’t fully understand what you’re feeling to begin with.

Also, if you've ever wondered why you're attracted to someone who is the complete opposite of you, it's because humans have an unconscious ability to be around those who have different traits from us. We thrive on those differences.

For instance, if you are more laid-back, chances are you will be attracted to someone who is more serious. Likewise, if you’re feeling serious, you might want to be with someone who can make you laugh. Looking for this balance in others is a natural part of what makes you attracted to them.

Wanting to find that natural balance is a totally normal and engrained desire in us.

It goes without saying that sex is also an important aspect to strengthening our bond with our partner. Our experts agree that bond sex between people who genuinely love each other is stronger than that of people who are just having sex for one night because of the amount of emotional comfort and intimacy between them.

This means that while a one-night stand might be fun, if you’re looking for lasting intimacy, it really helps to choose a person that you feel a genuine, emotional connection with.

If you’re interested in finding out more ways to tell if what you’re experiencing is really love, and how it works, then check out the YourTango Experts video above!


RELATED: 4 Lessons You Should Never Forget (If You Want Love That Actually Lasts)


If you need help for any relationship issue, contact our experts! They'd love to talk to you and they're here to help.

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