Drake And Chris Brown Are Friends, And They're Also Gross

Chris Brown and Drake used to fight over Rihanna, but they proved last night at the 2014 ESPYs that they can play nice when there isn't a superstar's vagina getting in the way.

In a skit during the show, Brown and Drizzy poked fun at their prior feud, which climaxed with a bottle-throwing brawl at a New York City bar. Since then, Rihanna has dated both Brown and Drake, though neither seems to respect her that much.

In case you lived under a rock since 2009, Chris Brown infamously battered Rihanna while they were dating; they split for a few years before reuniting both in and out of the studio ... while he was also dating Karrueche Tran. (These ladies both need to learn to love themselves.)

Rihanna recently was exclusive for a brief time with Drake, but that fizzled out. The reasoning is murky, but it's safe to assume that his "nice guy" schtick (which is far different from being a genuinely nice guy) got old: Telling her he knew what was better for her than she did, spilling about her to press, obsessing to a point that's uncomfortable even for mere outsiders to witness.

Both men seemed overbearing and controlling on the fierce songstress, just in different ways. Now that she's not wasting her time with either of them, they're free to be bros.

Of course, it's not like they had to be besties when one was dating her and the other wasn't — that'd just be weird. But the fact that they each took an active role in making one another's, and thereby Rihanna's, life Hell, is a sign that neither of them ever really respected her to begin with. If they couldn't control themselves around one another and felt the constant need to start drama, sometimes leading up to a physical altercation, chances are it made RiRi's life more of a headache than it needed to be. If they can only be chummy when neither of them is actively involved with Rihanna, it's a sign that neither of them ever respected her decisions or needs within their separate relationships.

Since Rihanna seems to be in the habit of recycling her exes, may we recommend getting back together with Matt Kemp? Then I'd have nothing to write about, but she'd at least be happy instead of going from a punching bag to a punchline between these two trolls.