Should You Snoop If You Suspect He's Cheating?

Woman opening closed door

How to confirm (or not) your suspicions of infidelity

Recently, America's former favorite busty clairvoyant, the (now-canceled) Ghost Whisperer's Jennifer Love Hewitt, dished to the gals on The View about she was cheated on for three-quarters of a two-year relationship. Ouch. "I knew in my gut that something was going on," said J. Love. "You have to trust [that instinct] ..." lemondrop: Were You Born To Cheat?

What to do when you have that same, sinking feeling that yours is not the only pillow your man has been fluffing? When you listen to that Whitney Houston "It's Not Right, But It's OK" song and suddenly find yourself relating to it? Should you just ignore it? Or go Jessica Fletcher on his ass and start snooping around, looking for concrete clues and confirmation that his recent interest in personal hygiene and the number of times he "accidentally" forgets to turn his cell phone on are actually indicators that he's cheating on you? lemondrop: Cheating: No Longer Just A Man's Sport

"The thought of being betrayed is one of the most heart-wrenching feelings in the world and certainly not [an issue] to avoid," says Tristan Coopersmith of Menu Dating Online. "Adults seeking healthy, enduring partnerships deal with valleys like this one head on. If not, buried demons will be haunting like a bad horror flick and ultimately manifest themselves in other ways in the relationship," she says. "Really think before you speak to your boyfriend about your concerns. False accusations can just as easily ruin a relationship as infidelity can."

"Discard evidence like hearsay [i.e., your cousin heard her friend saw him out with another girl], and try your best not to snoop through his email, phone or any other private information," Coopersmith advises. "You want this process to be as graceful, mature and respectful as possible. Breaking into something password-protected is none of those." lemondrop: Are You A Super-Snooper? You're Not Alone

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Written by Liz Scott for lemondrop