The Observations of a Single Parent

The Observations of a Single Parent

It isn't what you may think. When you hear the words single parent I am sure you imagine a hard-working mom or dad, working two jobs to pay the rent and put food on the table. That is usually the truth. But what if that single parent doesn't look like they work two jobs (i.e. doesn't wear sweats or tennis shoes and in general keeps themselves up.) What then? Well, it ain't pretty. Most women (generally speaking) do not enjoy having their husbands chatting up single moms. As far as single dads are concerned, I would imagine most men would feel the same.

Many a time have I had an engaging conversation with a fellow parent only to have one of their wives gingerly grab their husband's arm and lead them away with a "Honey, there is someone you have to meet," or "I need you to help me find something." Hmmmm. It is difficult to be an involved single parent when you get that kind of non-support. I have been tempted to have a "I don't want to sleep with your husband" tee-shirt made up just for those occasions. I don't, really. Not interested in the slightest. Who needs another woman's trash when there is so much treasure to be had?

I can understand their insecurity. But most of these women if they paid half the attention to their husbands that they spend on the PTA budget, they would have absolutely nothing to worry about. I understand that as a parent you basically have to split yourself in half to get everything done. But you don't have to do everything, right? I mean you can forgo a few meetings or volunteer car wash / bake sale fundraiser planning sessions, right? A few extra minutes in the morning? Going to bed before Letterman (but not going to sleep.) C'mon, as a single parent who doesn't always have a snuggle buddy, you shouldn't take that kind of intimacy for granted.

A few extra minutes getting ready during the day might also help. You don't have to look like Angelina Jolie to keep a man, either. Forgo the tennis shoes for some cute flats. Put the mom jeans away (better yet, throw them out.) If you are insecure about your figure, accentuate the positive. Wear skirts and dresses - they remind your man that you are still a woman. Oh and high heels - if you can tolerate them, they will pay off ten-fold. Sounds sexist? Maybe, but you aren't wearing these things to get a promotion at work, you are using these things to get your mate worked up. I know we all feel that our man should love us no matter what, and for the most part I am sure that they do. But just think of how much your engine revs when they put on your favorite shirt, or get a haircut you really like. It is like that for them - but times ten. You know what gets them going more than anyone - use it.

As far as men are concerned, well you shouldn't let yourselves go either. Join a gym to get rid of that beer gut - it will pay off as far as your looks and your health are concerned. Try to keep the dreaded female-libido-killer outfit to a minimum (the whole business casual Dockers and Golf Shirt ensemble.) Some women may dig it - but no one I have met yet. Oh and one word - Chivalry. Just because she is your wife it doesn't mean you can't open a door or two for her.

Finally, men it is a good rule of thumb to introduce your wife to every woman you talk to, putting your hand on the small of your wife's back in a supportive pose so she feels safe. She loves you and feels threatened. Acknowledge it, but assure her both verbally and non-verbally that she has nothing to worry about.

And women next time you go to a meeting at your kid's school and your
husband is talking to a single mom, go over and introduce yourself to
her - you might just make a friend.