Taking The Plunge: Post-Divorce Dating

Taking the Plunge: Post-Divorce Dating

After her divorce, one woman struggles with the singles scene.

My ex-husband and I were together for over 15 years before we separated. We have three wonderful children together, ages 17, 13 and 7.

In the beginning, right after our divorce, I wasn't really concerned with dating. I was busy spending most of my time worrying about how I was going to raise three children on my salary. At first, things were extremely hard; running an entire household all by yourself can be exhausting to say the least. Slowly, as time passed, things started getting a bit more manageable. I began developing a new routine that seemed to make every thing run a little smoother. 

Before I knew it, two years had passed quickly, right before my eyes. Now, matter how busy I kept myself, I couldn't help but thinking about how lonely I was really becoming. I mentioned this to my best friend, and she suggested that we should go out one weekend when I didn't have the kids. I was extremely nervous. I hadn't been out like this for almost 18 years. After two weeks of contemplating the idea, I finally decided to go. 

So, the following weekend came around, my ex came to pick up the children and I began to get ready. So many thoughts were flooding my mind as I searched for clothes to wear, showered and put on my make-up. There was a part of me that really wanted to meet someone, and the other half felt like I wouldn't have room for some one in my life, between the kids, my job and my ex, it just didn't seem at all possible. 

I went out with my best friend that night, and we had a wonderful time. I met a few people, but no one I was actually interested in. I was almost relieved, that I didn't meet Mr. Right, because I just couldn't see how that would work. 

My friend, and I began going out every other weekend, but I never mentioned this to my ex, or my children, it was almost like I had a secret life that I would live, only every other weekend. After going out a few times more, I actually started looking forward to going out. I seemed to enjoy just doing something different, and having fun. I wasn't even thinking about meeting someone else, I was just having fun. 

I finally decided that I was going to work up the nerve, and tell everyone that I was going out. Surprisingly, everyone took it very well. It seems that my ex had also been doing the same thing. 

Now it seemed that I could go out, without feelings of guilt. The next weekend my friend and I went out it happened. I met someone that I was very interested in. He didn't mind the fact that I had three kids, an ex, and very little time. At first, I talked to him on the phone a lot, but I could only see him every other weekend. We both agreed that we would take it very slow. 

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As time went by, I really felt like things were getting stronger between Mr. Right and I, so I begin to wonder how everyone else including my ex, were going to handle this bit of news. I decided if he and I lasted for one year, I would begin to introduce him to the rest of my life. I'm really glad I made that decision, because we didn't make it past six months. Turns out he wasn't Mr. Right after all. Now, I use the one-year rule. If they make it through that, then I will worry about the rest as it comes.