You Can Usually Tell Someone Has A Deep Mind By 10 Questions They Ask When Meeting A Stranger
BearFotos | Shutterstock Someone with a truly intelligent, deep mind may regularly display introverted habits.
While they do love going inward and spending time alone, they're also prosocial by nature. Their intelligence speaks for itself when it has to, whether they're talking in a work meeting or meeting a stranger on their commute. You can usually tell someone has a deep mind by the questions they ask when meeting a stranger, because they're also not afraid to break social scripts.
You can usually tell someone has a deep mind by 10 questions they ask when meeting a stranger
1. 'What do you enjoy doing?'
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Instead of summing someone's entire life or identity up to their career with a question like "What do you do?" someone with a deep mind dives in even more. They ask "What do you enjoy doing?" to not only get a better sense of who someone truly is, but to break the script of the typical kind of small talk that can be easily draining.
While it takes a lot longer for us to feel familiar with and truly know someone, according to a 2022 study, a high IQ can bridge the gap to create closeness simply by asking people to speak about themselves and the things they enjoy.
2. 'What would you do differently?'
Especially at work, when a high-IQ person might regularly meet strangers that they're expected to immediately collaborate with, questions like this are incredibly important. Instead of trying to sell their own ideas right away or convince people that they're right, the most intelligent people offer space for everyone to share.
They make people feel heard right away, which not only ends up bolstering productivity and closeness in a conversation, but also helps teams to collaboratively solve complex problems.
3. 'What's something you found interesting?'
While a question like this one works best in a professional setting, like after a work conference or following some kind of presentation, it exemplifies a kind of curiosity that should find its way into all great conversations.
Curiosity is a natural trait of intelligence, and drives them to connect with new people and throw themselves into hobbies that the average person might ignore. However, it also adds so much value and meaning to their conversations, serving as one small part of a much more psychologically rich life that most people lacking depth overlook.
4. 'How'd you get into that?'
Instead of oversharing in ways that feel uncomfortable and intrusive, the most intelligent people often form meaningful bonds by asking meaningful questions. They don't overstep any unspoken boundaries with strangers, but they ask somewhat casual questions like "How'd you get into that?" that open the door to deeper conversations.
Instead of passive comments like "that's cool," they're willing to take the extra time and effort to actually engage with someone. It's usually this energy that makes people feel valued in important ways and influences their social perceptions for the better.
5. 'What's been the highlight of your day?'
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For people of all ages, conversation is great for brain health. The more comfortable you are verbalizing feelings and having engaging conversations with others, the better you feel and become. Even if that means asking someone about their day or forming a connection based on similar feelings and experiences, these kinds of questions are powerful.
Intelligent people may not know the person next to them at work or on the train, but that doesn't stop them from asking questions that prove how deep their mind is.
6. 'Why?'
The most intelligent people are careful with this simple, one-word question, because they understand how it can sometimes come across. Especially in the workplace or when there's some kind of clear power dynamic at play, hearing "Why?" actually makes us feel shamed or called out, even in casual interactions.
However, when used like, "Really! That's cool. Why?" it can have a very different meaning. It can offer people the space to speak about what they find interesting or how they think without the pressure of trying to convince someone or prove their correctness. They're just adding context and offering space for connection, along with all the great feelings and rewards that come from a smart person's ability to actively listen.
7. 'You seem excited, what about?'
On its own, socializing with other people is associated with better mental and physical health, at least according to a World Psychiatry study. However, intelligent people often make their interactions even more meaningful and fulfilling by encouraging people to speak about things they find exciting and positive.
Whether it's questions like this one or simply "What are you excited for this week?" they make people feel happier by shining a focus on all the good parts of their lives.
8. 'What are you into these days?'
Despite what we're told about "opposites attracting," in most relationships and connections, shared interests are the doorway to better connections. Whether that's similar hobbies or interests, the more we understand and know about someone, the more likely we are to find comparisons.
That's why intelligent people often ask questions like this that exercise their own curious traits, while also investigating what someone else enjoys. If their main goal is to build a stronger, more meaningful relationship, they're going to dive deeper with these kinds of intentional questions.
9. 'What do you love about that?'
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Part of what makes intelligent people so easy to speak with and so instantly valuable to group settings is their curiosity. They can flip the script on the kind of small talk that most people find draining and spark new conversations that make people immediately feel more seen.
"What do you love about that?" is just one example of their prosocial behaviors that make people feel special. Instead of saying "that's interesting" or "How's that going for you?" they make space for something unique and different that engages everyone's focus.
10. 'Would you do it again?'
Instead of asking someone outright if they could join an endeavor or make a date with them to try something new, people with deep minds reveal their open-mindedness with questions like this one. As a study from the Journal of Clinical and Experimental Neuropsychology explains, this kind of openness is a central trait of a high-IQ person's character.
They're not only willing to lean into new conversations and habits, they're also willing to step out of their comfort zone in all aspects of life for the sake of learning and growth.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
