11 Things That Instantly Annoy People Who Are Not Interested In Small Talk
Small talk can be excruciatingly difficult for certain people.
Red Stock / Shutterstock We’ve all been there. Whether it’s checking out at a store or trying to lull the awkwardness when meeting someone new, small talk has been used by all of us. For some people, having these little conversations that lack substance can be difficult. They may even negatively impact their social experiences.
Small talk is shallow and those who are not interested in having this type of conversation, it can be draining. Navigating the social norms that dictate appropriate conversation when speaking with someone you don’t know well is difficult. Each culture has their own ideology behind casual conversation, and those who are not interested in small talk may struggle with reading those situations. There are always reasons why people have the opinions they do, and for those who are not interested in small talk, those feelings can be hard to ignore.
These are 11 things that instantly annoy people who are not interested in small talk
1. Shallow conversations
eclipse_images from Getty Images Signature via Canva
There is a psychological connection between happiness and small talk. A study was performed at the University of Arizona involving 79 students who wore a microphone that recorded snippets of their daily conversations. Although it was a small research project, the answer was clear: the happiest people spent only a small amount of time engaging in small talk and more time discussing things of substance.
“By engaging in meaningful conversations, we manage to impose meaning on an otherwise pretty chaotic world,” Dr. Mattias Mehl, the professor behind the study, told The New York Times. “And interpersonally, as you find this meaning, you bond with your interactive partner, and we know that interpersonal connection and integration is a core fundamental foundation of happiness.”
2. Conversations that feel forced
Robert Kneschke via Canva
It is annoying to have conversations that feel forced. Small talk can feel like a chore. Since it is considered polite, even those who are not interested in these conversations still have to perform them.
Small talk often feels scripted. People who are not interested in small talk may struggle with their confidence in these conversations. They are instantly annoyed when it feels like they have to communicate a certain way instead of letting conversations take shape naturally.
3. Not being heard
Robert Kneschke via Canva
It’s annoying to have a conversation with someone who isn’t truly listening to you. Those who hate small talk often find this to be the case.
Since the conversations are often viewed as insincere and a performance of a social expectation, people who are not interested in small talk become easily annoyed when they are speaking. Their conversation partner is not listening to what they are trying to convey, even if it is a shallow conversation.
4. Intrusive conversations
Robert Kneschke via Canva
Meeting someone new or talking to someone you don’t know well and having to give details about your life can be annoying to those who are not interested in small talk. They feel these conversations are too intrusive.
We’ve all been asked “how are you,” and we know the polite way to respond is by saying everything is ‘good.’ Occasionally, things are not going well, but it would be revealing too much information to share that. While this is a common conversation starter, it can feel intrusive to those who are not interested in small talk.
5. Fake connections
Katrin Bolovtsova from Pexels via Canva
People who are annoyed by small talk feel they can’t form genuine connections with others through these conversations. When meeting someone new, it can be difficult to get to know them if you’re only scratching the surface.
Small talk is typically how things kick off with someone new. However, people who are annoyed with shallow conversations would rather have an icebreaker question that helps rid the situation of awkwardness and opens it up for a more sincere conversation.
6. Talking to people they don’t know well
Mizuno K from Pexels via Canva
While some people who hate small talk struggle because they want to form genuine connections, there is another side. Others may be annoyed because they don’t want to have social interactions with people they don’t know well.
Some people who are not interested in having small talk find it extremely draining.
“Talking with people they don’t know well can take a lot out of them, especially for introverts,” says RN Lynn Reeves Griffin. Introverts often find small conversations with new people to be uncomfortable.
7. Being overstimulated
Elevate from Pexels via Canva
When a conversation runs its course and there is an awkward silence in the air, most people become uncomfortable. Having to keep a conversation going can be overstimulating and annoying for people who are not interested in small talk.
Maintaining a conversation can bring on social anxiety, even for those who identify as extroverted. It is overstimulating for many to keep a conversation going with someone, especially if it’s centered around questions asked when participating in small talk.
8. Conversations that don't further their personal growth
eclipse_images from Getty Images Signature via Canva
Meeting new people can spur conversations that deepen personal growth. However, for those who are not interested in small talk, they can find that these social interactions do not expand their minds.
It is annoying for some to participate in conversations that go nowhere and are centered around politeness. They seek conversations that are thought-provoking and help them grow as individuals.
9. Boring chitchat
Robert Kneschke via Canva
Let’s face it: small talk is boring. It rarely leads to a conversation that produces anything of substance, at least according to people who are not interested in having small talk.
For these people, it's annoying to have dull conversations. They don’t want to say too much or too little because they are unsure how to respond to boring talking points.
10. Wasting their time
Henri Mathieu-Saint-Laurent from Pexels via Canva
People who are not interested in having small talk can get annoyed because they have other things to do. Talking to someone they do not know can take valuable time away from their busy schedule.
Small talk is usually centered around general topics. Famously, people often discuss the weather. For those who are not interested in small talk, this is viewed as a waste of time.
11. Feeling pressured into having conversations when they don't feel social
August de Richellieu from Pexels via Canva
There are few things more annoying to people who are not interested in having small talk than being forced to socialize when they are not up for it. Everyone has a social battery, and for these people, small talk can drain it.
We all have had days when we do not feel as social, but when we run to the store or grab a coffee, we have to have small talk with the people we encounter. These conversations are always surface-level and a societal necessity. This can be daunting to those who are not in the mood to socialize.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
