The Whole Thanksgiving Dinner Vibe Changes Once These 7 Phrases Get Said Out Loud
Because nothing reshapes a family gathering faster than a few loaded lines.
Anna Shvets | Canva Two topics seem to dominate the morning shows during Thanksgiving week: what is the most fattening thing on the table, and how to create the most decadent holiday menu. Is it just me, or does it seem counterproductive to dish on the heart-attack-inducing fat and calories in sausage stuffing while also talking about how to make the very best stuffing?
No matter, though, because you've got way bigger problems than creating the most succulent turkey while subsequently keeping the button on your pants from popping off and dinging someone in the neck. You actually have to sit at a table for Thanksgiving dinner and converse with people.
You almost forgot that part, didn't you? Most people do. Everyone is so caught up in ironing napkins and fretting over burned pie crusts that by the time the actual celebration hits, there is a table full of guests ready to eat, drink, and be conversational, and then — whoops — conversation turns to confrontation. It's like magic.
Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful for the good things in life. And that includes the people around your table. Yes, all of them. So, I am sharing with you some of the most heinous conversation killers so you can both avoid saying them and dodge them if they come your way.
The whole Thanksgiving dinner vibe changes once these 7 phrases get said out loud
1. 'So! Any wedding plans?' or 'Any baby news yet?'
Many of us (me included, I must admit) presume that running the dating marathon reaches the marriage finish line. No. And no again.
As for the baby question, think first! What if the couple is struggling to conceive, doesn't want to have children, or is expecting but not ready to share the news? So pipe down. If someone wants you to know their intimate intentions, they will.
Try this: "Catch me up on what's happening since I last saw you two."
2. 'I heard Sarah got into Northwestern. Why isn't she going to Michigan State instead?'
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Maybe Sarah just loves green and white. Maybe Sarah didn't really get into Northwestern. Maybe the economy has put a damper on attending private institutions. Maybe you should just pass the gravy.
Try this: "I hear Sarah was accepted to several universities; what swayed her decision to go to MSU?"
3. 'This house is so much smaller than your old one!'
Um, yes, homeowners are aware of their square footage. Falling APRs and zero-interest loans created a housing crisis for basically everyone, not just those strangers you read about in the newspapers.
Try this: "What's the best part of celebrating your first Thanksgiving in your new house?"
4. 'How much pie have you had?' or 'Why aren't you eating anything?'
Leave everyone alone and let others eat or not eat; just worry about yourself and what you are putting in your own mouth, which, at this point, seems to be your foot. Just because you made the Jell-O doesn't mean everyone is required to indulge.
Try this: "Everything is delicious."
5. 'I just can't imagine being a stay-at-home mother. What do you do all day?'
This is one of the lowest blows because it typically pits woman against woman, and that is a crime! We must stick together, whether we are running a Fortune 500 company or running another load of laundry. Your job as a guest is to show genuine interest in your conversation partner; ask questions that elicit a thoughtful and honest response.
Try this: "What surprised you about becoming a stay-at-home mother?" or "What part of the day do you love?" or "Walk me through a typical day at your house/office?"
6. 'Nice shirt' (followed by an eye roll or a heavy sigh)
Leave them alone. Their priorities are not the same as yours. Appreciate that they are wearing a shirt. And hopefully pants. Period.
Try this: "Nice shirt." (minus the eye roll and heavy sigh)
7. 'Delicious! Did you cook this or order it?'
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You may be asking because you sincerely wish to know how you can create this dish yourself, but you are putting the host on the spot. Instead, compliment the dish and ask for the recipe after the meal. If it was not homemade, maybe they will confess. Or not.
Try this: "Happy Thanksgiving, everyone."
Debra Fine is a nationally recognized expert on communication skills, presenting motivational keynotes, training programs, seminars, and workshops for organizations.
