9 Weird Habits That Secretly Give People An Unfair Edge In Life, According To Psychology
Quirky habits that quietly boost success.
Dean Drobot | Canva Life isn’t fair, but it isn’t unfair either. Life just is. Studies examine how individuals respond to perceived unfairness, the influence of social comparisons, and how beliefs about fairness impact our experiences. There are ways we can get ahead of most people, and there are also creative ways many of us choose to fall behind.
I love to see the curious ways people gain advantages and edges in life. Edges are what we want, and there are ways to get them. Here are some ideas to shift perspectives and get the juices flowing.
Here are nine weird habits that secretly give people an unfair edge in life, according to psychology:
1. They practice radical honesty
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One of the hardest things a human can do is speak the real truth. Honesty is tough for many because going there might risk upsetting others, so your own perceived safety and happiness are at risk.
What might more honesty in all your communications do for your life? I guarantee you much will change for the good. How so? Because so few people dare to lean into the truth.
As long as you steer clear of saying things that invite more trouble into your life, you will likely find much opens up for you. More than anything, your confidence will rise because you are speaking your mind. Take this one step at a time.
2. They practice inversion thinking
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Inversion thinking is an approach to problem-solving made popular by investor Charlie Munger. This involves looking at a problem or situation from the opposite perspective.
So, instead of figuring out how to achieve a particular goal, inversion thinking prompts you to consider avoiding the mistakes that could appear in pursuing that goal. This is about regularly asking questions that help you uncover potential pitfalls and obstacles. When you do this, you’ll see things that trap most people, leading them to quit — and you to win.
3. They create a personal luck journal
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This sounds a bit over the top, I know. A luck journal may sound like something your fifteen-year-old self might have written for three weeks before quitting. But there’s power here.
They say luck isn’t a thing. But it won’t be a thing if you don’t even notice it. Your luck journal helps your peripheral brain hone in on lucky things, creating more of them.
Document all the ways you are seeing luck show up in your life. You might also brainstorm new ways to create more luck. This trains you to see luck and opportunity.
Most of us never enjoy opportunities because we simply don’t train our brains to see them. Get the edge by being intentional about the luck you bring in.
While luck may seem like a random occurrence, research suggests that creating a luck journal and focusing on positive experiences can enhance one's perceived luck. By actively seeking out and recording positive experiences, individuals become more attuned to opportunities and develop a more optimistic outlook, leading to a greater sense of luck.
4. They smash expectations
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Many people mope through life, never challenging the assumption that life is supposed to be hard. We have expectations, and often those expectations are met. Big deal.
But when expectations are exceeded or met in a way no one saw coming … that’s when things get interesting. It’s like taking the red pill so you can step outside the Matrix.
For anything you do where you want to make an impact, ask yourself, ‘What is expected and how can I be unexpected?’ Patterns will be interrupted. People will take notice, and you may just find yourself flying.
Strategically defying expectations can lead to positive outcomes, particularly in areas like social interaction and personal success. A 2019 study cautioned that setting unrealistically high expectations can lead to disappointment, frustration, and decreased well-being when those expectations are not met.
5. They ruthlessly say no
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Many of us are swayed by the cacophonous array of attractive options competing for attention. But when you say yes to two things, you should also say no to five things.
Because when you bring more attention to less, you nourish the thing. You become exceptional. You create something remarkable. So think about it this way: When you say no, you are saying a big, loud yes to something that requires it.
6. They cultivate the skill of extreme focus
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Now, you might be thinking such a skill requires years of practice using some clever, complicated system. But extreme focus is only ‘extreme’ because it’s so rare these days. Extreme focus means turning off your phone and Internet, and fully throwing your attention into the highest priority task without distraction.
A 2023 study argues that individuals with high self-control are often perceived as more determined, ambitious, and successful. This heightened focus can lead to greater success in areas like academic achievement, career advancement, and even personal relationships, as they are better able to resist distractions and pursue their goals.
7. They learn the art of persuasion
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You have all these cool things you’re making, but you might have trouble grabbing anyone’s interest. It’s tough, but what’s tougher is having something the world needs and not knowing how to get it into the hands of these people.
Persuasion is getting people to listen to you, buy your products, and read your words. Learning persuasion might not be high on your priorities, especially if you associate it with manipulation.
This is why, besides learning how to persuade, you must let go of any negative connotations you have that put you off it. This very article you're reading is an exercise in persuasion. I hope it worked.
8. They become a solutions alchemist
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Every crack in the road is a doorway to a happy place. I’m talking about seeing the solution to every problem. It’s a mindset thing, and it will change your life and make you more resilient than most people.
Being able to bounce back quickly after a setback is one of the most underrated skills. Learn it. See the opportunity in all your problems, and you’ll never see a ‘problem’ in the same way again.
Individuals with a growth mindset believe their abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and learning rather than being fixed. Research by North Dakota State University found that a solution-oriented mindset fosters resilience and a willingness to tackle challenges as opportunities for growth.
9. They make time for their ideas
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One idea by itself, sitting alone at home twiddling its thumbs, may make a small dent. But take two ideas and let them get hot and steamy together, and you may find yourself with an idea hybrid that’s almost too hot to handle.
The real innovators continually bring seemingly disparate ideas together, finding unique takes that change the world. One way to make this more concrete for you each day is to do as entrepreneur James Altucher does: write down ten ideas every day and let them all smash into one another.
I dare you to bring one of these into your life with a bit of extra intention. You can, of course, come back to this regularly and bring in other points.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.
