Gen X Lived By These 11 Unspoken Rules That Worked Out Pretty Well (For The Most Part)
Each generation thinks they have it all figured out, but Gen X (pretty much) definitely had these things right.
Pressmaster via Canva Although I am a millennial myself, I have to give credit where it’s due. Gen X did a lot of things right. Born between 1965 and 1980, and often referred to as the "middle child generation," Gen X has been an innovative group. From Kurt Cobain and grunge music to acting legends like Julia Roberts and Angelina Jolie, this generation is special.
“Gen Xers are typically described as being resourceful and independent — traits partly stemming from their latchkey childhoods — as well as keen on maintaining work-life balance, perhaps due to witnessing the demands of their parents’ work and subsequent absence from family life,” says Amy McKenna, senior editor at Britannica. “They are often described as being cynical, attributed to the economic and societal tumult they experienced as children and young adults.” Because of these situations, they lived by some unspoken rules, and for the most part, it worked out in their favor.
11 unspoken rules Gen X lived by that worked out pretty well (for the most part)
1. Don’t start none, won’t be none
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Avoiding conflict is something Gen Xers value. However, they’re not afraid to defend themselves when they’re put into a situation that requires them to do so. They live by the words "Don’t start none, won’t be none." This phrase means that if you don’t start anything with them, you won’t get anything back from them.
Basically, they lived by the rule that there will be no drama if you don’t start any drama. It serves as a warning to avoid conflict. Since they’re not afraid to defend themselves, it serves as a warning for others to avoid picking a fight with them. Essentially, stay in your own lane, and everything will be cool. For the most part, this rule worked out pretty well for them.
2. Nobody ever said life was fair
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Chances are, you know a Gen Xer who has told you more than once that nobody ever said life was fair. They live by a 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' ideology. They grew up in rocky social and financial situations. They had to fight for themselves. Life isn't always fair, but it's how you react to it that matters.
“Most of us struggle with accepting the reality that life isn't based on fairness. We don't understand why people don't always get what they deserve. We expect the good to be rewarded and the bad punished. But it doesn't work that way,” says Jennifer Kunst, Ph.D.
Gen Xers struggle less with these feelings. They’ve always had an unspoken rule that life isn’t fair, and they’re happy to make do with what they have.
3. Keep personal matters to yourself
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The generations that followed Gen X grew up with access to the internet. Blogs, websites, social media, and texting have given them outlets to share personal information. The online generation is comfortable spilling their guts, maybe a little more than they should, to be honest. Gen X, on the other hand, lived by the unspoken rule that they should keep personal things to themselves.
“This generation values their space. They’re less likely to overshare online and more likely to opt out of data tracking or targeted ads,” says UDonis. “They want brands to respect their time and privacy, not interrupt or intrude.” This also extends to the people in their lives. They are happy keeping their problems to themselves instead of venting to those around them.
4. Never trust authority
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Gen X is known for being independent. They have a hard time trusting authority. While they are always going to respect their parents, others who hold leadership roles are not to be trusted, according to them. They have always been skeptical of the government, the police, and the managers at their workplace. They don’t like being told what to do or being expected to follow directions from someone.
“I think a large portion of our generation learned (or were socially conditioned to understand) those who seek power usually aren't worthy of it,” wrote one Reddit user. They think that this distrust of authority has worked out for them for the most part, though other commenters on the Reddit thread thought their distrust of authority has held them back from achieving more at work.
5. Walk it off
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The unspoken rule of walking it off is one Gen X has lived by. When they say walk it off, they basically mean to let go of anything that goes wrong. Sure, you might be down, but it’ll all work out. Just walk it off and don’t let them see you sweat.
I grew up with Gen X parents, and I was often told by my dad to "Walk it off." It was useful advice. There was no point in dwelling on things that went wrong. However, as his child, it was the most annoying thing in the world to hear when I was at the age where everything felt like the end of the world, so I guess it has worked out pretty well for them for the most part (I am the part it didn’t work out for, I think).
6. Always have a backup plan
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Gen X grew up during a difficult financial period. Following the economic boom their parents got to experience, Gen X, who were mostly coming of age in the 1980s, were faced with something we are sadly all too familiar with at this point: a recession. Running out of money has been a major fear for this generation and continues to be a concern as they get older.
Since they were always concerned that financial struggles would leave them with nothing, they tried to always have a backup plan. Whether it was a plan B job idea or a savings account they had been slowly building, Gen X’s unspoken rule to always have a backup plan has worked out well for them in times of need.
7. Fake it until you make it
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Growing up in rocky financial times under the parenting of rather absent caretakers, Gen X had to fend for themselves. Whether it was while they were in school or in the job market, they have tried to keep it together at all times. The idea of ‘fake it until you make it’ was an unspoken rule for Gen X.
"Fake it until you make it" is the idea that you have to act as if you want to achieve what you want. Maybe they weren’t ready for that promotion, or they truly didn’t understand the homework assignment, but had to try to pull it off. As a millennial raised by Gen Xers, I have heard "Fake it until you make it" as advice as I worked my way through school and a complicated job market. It has worked out for them, for the most part.
8. Boredom is okay
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The generations that grew up with the internet and constant screentime have a hard time with boredom. Speaking from my own experience, it’s difficult for me to sit and do nothing while letting my mind wander. I want to keep myself busy at all times. However, Gen X has always been comfortable spending time on their own doing nothing.
It’s an unspoken rule with the generation that takes time for themselves. It’s totally fine to sit, relax, and let themselves be bored.
9. Don't let your studies get in the way of your education
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Gen X's struggle with authority means that they didn't put as much emphasis on an education obtained in a classroom. They want to learn what they are interested in. They have always thought it was better to focus on educating themselves in the world around them and not to always rely on school-based studies. Gen X noticed that attending school was more about following rules than it was centered on learning.
"The bottom line — education is about acquiring knowledge over time. Schooling is about learning how to take instructions and act accordingly,” says Bryan with a Y on Medium.
Many people, in the United States anyway, and I’m sure it’s the case in most places in the world, confuse education and schooling. They’re two separate things. One sometimes leads to the other, but not always. Gen X’s unspoken rule about education generally worked out for them.
10. There’s no such thing as a free lunch
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Gen X is well-versed in financial struggles. Their unstable childhoods made them have less patience with newer generations who need more help. There is no such thing as free lunch in their eyes. However, while they’re annoyed by the concept of free lunches, this unwritten rule is more than financial for them.
No one eats for free was an unwritten rule for Gen X. They knew that nothing in life comes for free. If you’re being offered a free lunch, there’s got to be a catch. They knew that eventually they would have to pay someone back for it. If you accept a favor, expect to return it in kind.
11. It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask permission
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Gen Xers are go-getters. They’re confident in their decision-making skills. Since they struggle with authority, they often prefer to take on a task rather than ask for permission. If that person is unhappy about their decision, it’s easier to throw in a quick apology down the line.
The phrase was originally coined by Admiral Grace Hopper. The idea was to do what you think is right, even if the people around you aren’t sure it is. If it works out, they’ll thank you. If not, you can ask for their forgiveness.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
