If Your Trust In The World Feels Broken Right Now, These 4 Little Things Can Help
pics five | Shutterstock Even though we enter this beautiful world as trusting creatures, it can be so hard to trust ourselves and others. We experience letdowns in relationships with family, friends, teachers, significant others, or humanity due to various breaches of trust. A lifetime of these breaches makes us weary and self-protective, like the world is broken and nothing feels safe anymore.
But losing trust doesn't mean you're broken forever. Rebuilding trust usually happens in small steps, not giant leaps. Learning to feel safe again starts with understanding yourself, recognizing your fears, and gradually believing that not every person or experience will hurt you. If your trust in the world feels shattered, these small ways to feel better can help you start rebuilding that foundation.
If your trust in the world feels broken, these little things can help:
1. Start by being honest about how much you trust yourself
While no one likes to be in a position where they lack self-trust, if you're being honest, there are always areas for improvement. Sometimes, the lack of trust pushes you to learn something new, expand your skill set, or research a topic or situation so you have more information to trust.
If you're feeling a lack of faith or trust in yourself, it can be turned into a positive thing. You can use a lack of faith to help identify your weaknesses and shortcomings. Research from psychologist Albert Bandura found that people who believe in their ability to grow and handle challenges are more likely to persevere and build confidence over time. Evaluating your level of self-trust helps you develop your current strengths and builds your faith in your abilities and choices.
2. Figure out what you need to trust again
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Yes, it's easier not to trust people, especially when relationships end badly or you experience a significant betrayal. When you're ready and have calculated the level of trust you're willing to risk, step out and try again. Know the level of emotional safety that you require. There are wonderful people out there waiting to befriend you.
According to John Bowlby, a British psychiatrist and developmental psychologist, people are more likely to build healthy, lasting relationships when they feel emotionally secure and supported. When you're ready and have calculated the level of trust you're willing to risk, step out and try again, while being honest about the emotional safety and consistency you need from the people around you. It may be scary and unsuccessful, but we all must take a chance to live a more fulfilling life.
You can't bake a cake unless you break a few eggs. Eventually, with the knowledge gained from experience, you'll know some red flags to look out for and how to handle yourself differently in new situations. Hopefully, you'll have a series of positive trust experiences that help you build meaningful relationships and put previous untrustworthy ones in your rearview mirror.
3. Show up as the kind of person you want to be
Everyone has insecurities stemming from past trust issues, so don't expect the same bad behavior from everyone. Sometimes, that expectation is warranted. However, if you distrust every person you encounter, you will put out that distrust, and it will come back to you.
If you project your distrust and lack of faith onto someone else, they will eventually pick up on it, even subconsciously, and return to you the realization of that distrustful behavior.
A wonderful way to attract trusting relationships is to be trustworthy yourself. Participate in ways that friends, coworkers, and significant others trust your word and behavior. Then, without even knowing it, you'll project your trusting character into the world and receive it back in upgraded or new relationships.
4. Learn what fear is sitting underneath your distrust
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Lack of trust boils down to a fear of something. If you are struggling to trust, you typically have something to lose. What are you afraid of?
Fears like losing face, looking stupid, not being good enough, ruining a relationship, losing money, or making mistakes are all valid. Identify the fear and face it with emotional, mental, and practical backup plans to help build trust in your life.
Research published in the journal Pain found that avoiding fears often makes them grow stronger over time, while gradually facing them can help build confidence and resilience. Fears can keep us from committing ourselves to the moment, an experience, a relationship, or an opportunity, but learning to face them can help rebuild trust in ourselves and the world around us.
If we let it, trust can aid the overall growth process in ourselves and in our relationships with others. Trust grows when we pay attention to our emotional needs, thought patterns, and how we connect with others. The more we understand ourselves and learn to trust our own judgment, the easier it becomes to feel grounded, even when the world around us feels uncertain.
As we gain experience and confidence, we become less likely to second-guess ourselves or fall into self-sabotaging habits. Trust builds slowly through small choices, healthy relationships, and moments where we prove to ourselves that we can handle hard things. Over time, that growing self-trust can make it easier to open up to others again, too.
Pamela Aloia is a certified grief coach, intuitive/medium, and author of inspirational books. Pamela supports people through change and helps them enhance their lives and experiences via energy awareness, meditation, and mindfulness.
