4 Things Women Who Feel Feminine And Fully Themselves Do When Insecurity Creeps In

The expectations of strong women in today's society are changing, and they're changing fast. We are supposed to be fierce in the boardroom, alluring in the bedroom, chaste and gentle mothers, and leaders in our communities, all while possessing an aura of feminine mystique. That's a lot. I'm tired, aren't you?

Being exhausted from all these expectations is natural, but it doesn't mean we should go back to the old days where the only path to being considered a "real woman" was motherhood and homemaking in lieu of being strong women. No way. But do we need to lose our classical feminine values and quintessential feminine mystique entirely, along the road to equality and our pursuit of being strong women?

We asked a few insightful and renowned relationship experts for wisdom about the changing role of femininity, and what "feminine values" really mean today. In the video below, self-love mystic and mentor Pernilla Lillarose, author Ellyn Roberts Bell, relationship coach Barb Boschetto, and John Gray of Mars and Venus fame share their insight.

The bottom line is: You can value femininity and still believe in equality. In fact, to be balanced, strong women, we all need to accept our femininity and our masculinity — and the unique ways in which we each experience those. Embracing our feminine mystique doesn't have to mean giving up our female power or our quest for quality. In fact, it can mean just the opposite. Femininity may be the key to our success and help us feel most fully ourselves when doubt or insecurity creeps in.

Here are 4 things women who feel feminine and fully themselves do when insecurity creeps in:

1. They let anyone else define what it means for them to be a woman

Society has spent generations telling women the right and wrong ways to be feminine. While some women were happy under those constraints, it was really about control, and it kept many women living outside of their truth.

The same goes for more recent times when we hear that women are supposed to want the same things and behave the same way as men. The expectation may be different, but it's still pressure from the outside to conform to perceived feminine values.

2. They take time to just be, instead of forcing themselves to do

Many women today are busy, busy, busy trying to achieve. It's great to have goals, and working hard pays off. But when we take time to just be, by sitting still, taking time for personal activities, meditating, practicing yoga, or engaging in similar pursuits, we open ourselves up as the natural receivers we can be. In those moments, we can nurture our truest selves and find ways to nurture others in turn.

3. They embrace their most nurturing, caring selves

woman with her pet dog embracing her nurturing self Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash

This doesn't have to be in motherhood if that isn't your path. But most women have a strong capacity for nurturing and compassion that our busy, highly scheduled lives can override. Setting aside time to care for elders, animals, and children is a common way to embrace your nurturing side.

But you can also do this by volunteering for a cause or organization that is meaningful to you. You can also embrace your caretaking side by writing or creating art that will bring comfort to others or help them achieve their goals.

4. They understand their masculine side is healthy, and that femininity is a wonderful trait for men, too

We all, regardless of gender, have a unique balance of masculine values and feminine values within ourselves. Our masculine sides are nothing to be ashamed of or to shun, just like the feminine side of men is a beautiful thing to embrace.

But it's important to know what balance of feminine and masculine energy is healthy for you, and true to who you are. If it starts to feel out of balance, you might find yourself at odds with people you love, or bumping up against society in ways you never have before.

That's a good time to go back to point number two, above, and take some time to just be, so you can get back into alignment with your own feminine/masculine balance.

There is no right or wrong way to "do" femininity, no matter what society tries to tell you. Just remember that feminine values are beautiful, and being true to ourselves is the best way to feel balanced and be authentically happy.

Pernilla Lillarose is a self-love mystic & mentor at Divine Feminine Flow and the author of 5 Steps To Dive Into The Divine Feminine Flow.

Elizabeth Ayers-Callahan is a writer covering relationships, parenting, and women's well-being.

Barb Boschetto is a writer, speaker, and relationship consultant in the San Francisco Bay Area and New York. Diving into areas of toxic relationships, emotional abuse, relationship recovery, work place conflict resolutions is the body of Barb's work.

Dr. John Gray is a leading relationship expert whose books, including "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus," have sold over 50 million copies in 50 languages in 150 countries

Ellyn Bell is an intuitive and spiritual coach who uses Tarot to help people overcome obstacles and reconnect with their intuition.