7 Things People Who Have Impressive Emotional Strength Do Very Differently
True strength comes from within.
Chermiti Mohamed | Pexels Emotional resilience isn't something we are all born with. Sometimes the struggles and traumas that we experience imprint on our personality, but instead of translating into emotional strength, as they do for some people, these wounds manifest as anxiety or insecurity.
That doesn't mean you can't learn how to embrace your inner toughness and become the emotionally resilient person who is hiding just under the surface. The best way to secure that unparalleled confidence is to emulate the people who have embraced their emotional toughness, and here's exactly what they do differently.
Here are 7 things people who have impressive emotional strength do very differently:
1. They take control
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There are two types of people in the world: Those who believe in luck and those who believe they have control over things. In a piece he wrote for Inc., entrepreneur and founder of Java Presse Coffee Company, Raj Jana, explained, "Luck isn’t what got me where I am today. It’s something far more practical and easily attainable: preparation."
Jana went on to say, "When you take the time and energy to prepare, you become ready for the unexpected. You become hyper-focused and are able to respond in a heightened state of functioning. This isn’t simply the action to review a company website or study your college textbooks. Preparation is a way of life, a lifestyle skill set to build."
In essence, being prepared is just another way to take control. You may not be able to control the outcome, but by being prepared, you control your own actions and your own emotions. You can walk away from any interaction and say you gave it your all, regardless of whether it turned out the way you hoped.
2. They're flexible
Life doesn't always go as planned, so it's better to be able to pivot when you need to! According to Forbes, being flexible means you're open to the unexpected and won't crumble when something inevitably changes.
That flexibility gives you the ability to bounce back when disappointment inevitably happens. Maybe the guy you were crushing on didn't share similar feelings when you asked him out. Instead of giving up on dating altogether, emotionally strong people are flexible enough to try again. They were likely prepared for the possible outcome of rejection by being in control of the situation, as well!
3. They learn from their mistakes
You can either whither under the weight of your mistakes or make them tools for your future. Look at those slip-ups as training and refrain from letting them define you.
Award-winning business leader and keynote speaker Dr. Magie Cook wrote, "If we never experience failure, we miss out on the wonderful practice that facing challenging setbacks provides us as we learn and grow. When we encounter challenges, we develop resilience by picking ourselves up, learning from the misstep, and moving forward with newfound determination. Confidence is built from building ourselves back up from failures, and not shying away from the lessons learned."
4. They create specific goals, then conquer them
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Sometimes you're mentally all over the place because you have no direction. What are you doing? Why? When do you want to accomplish this? However, if you set a realistic goal, you have a clear starting point instead of floundering in indecision or feeling paralyzed because you don't know where to begin.
As reported on by the Oak Journal, a study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that individuals who took the time to write down their goals were 42% more likely to achieve them. That's a whopping statistic! Creating focus and holding yourself accountable are integral to achieving goals, and writing them down does just that.
5. They look for acceptance from themselves, not others
Most of us want other people to like us, but strength comes from within. Ironically, many people don't like you until you stop caring whether or not others like you.
According to Positive Psychology, self-acceptance and resilience go hand in hand because "Emotional resilience is an art of living that is entwined with self-belief, self-compassion, and enhanced cognition. It is the way through which we empower ourselves to perceive adversities as ‘temporary’ and keep evolving through the pain and sufferings."
You don't suddenly flip a switch and go from insecure to self-assured, however. Even people who have high self-esteem grapple with moments of insecurity. It's natural and just a part of being human. As long as you start making strides toward treating yourself with kindness, you're moving in the right direction.
6. They keep their stress in check
Keeping your stress in check is part of self-care, which is also part of self-acceptance. See how all these traits are sneakily intertwined? As Positive Psychology noted, "Getting tied down with the daily stressors of life can be a big reason that we lose our emotional resilience. We become more sensitive, over-reactive, and emotionally unbalanced. Even a little change of plans can leave us in a state of anxiety and panic."
A study from New York University confirmed this. Researchers found that stress makes it harder for people to control their emotions. Want to lower your risk of bursting into tears at work? Get rid of that stress.
7. They let the little things roll off their back
Stop sweating the small stuff. Just because you were planning to make a special dessert for your friend's upcoming birthday, and the local grocer was out of the secret ingredient, it's okay. Switch up the recipe. Who knows? Maybe the change will yield even greater results!
Writing for Psychology Today, wellness expert Tchiki Davis, Ph.D., explained, "A shift in perspective can help you see the situation from a new point of view and try out new solutions that make you more emotionally resilient in the future." Pivoting to that alternate recipe will give you more options in the future and teach you that sometimes you have to think on the fly to be your best self.
Nicole Weaver is a senior writer for Showbiz Cheat Sheet whose work has been featured in New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, and more.
