8 Things Messy People Start Doing When They've Finally Had Enough Of Their Own Chaos
If you're tired of your own mess, here's how to get organized.
Marisa Harris | Unsplash Life is messy. While some people thrive in chaotic environments, I would argue that it's not a sustainable approach to life. I also want to preface that organized chaos and careless chaos are two different things.
Organized chaos is catered to the individual and doesn't really have to make sense to everyone else. Careless chaos, however, can sometimes spill over to the people around you. So, where do you begin when you've finally had enough of a mess of your own making?
Here are 8 things messy people start doing when they've finally had enough of their own chaos:
1. Believe they are capable
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An important part of getting yourself organized is to believe that you can. When it seems that everyone else around you can manage things so much better than you, it is daunting to believe that you can ever live successfully. But you can.
Dr. Barbara Fredrickson's broaden-and-build theory suggests that positive emotions broaden our cognitive and behavioral scope. Positive emotions have been linked to enhanced cognitive abilities, including better problem-solving skills. They can help individuals think outside the box and find more creative solutions when faced with seemingly overwhelming situations.
2. Get themselves 'organized enough'
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No matter how many websites you visit that promise to teach you how to be organized, you most likely will never have the picture-perfect filing system that you see on Pinterest.
What you can have is an organizing system that works "well enough" for you. What do you most need to keep track of?
- Your keys? Put a basket by the door and leave your keys there when you get home.
- Your trash? Buy lots of wastebaskets and put them everywhere and USE THEM.
- Your piles? Build some time into every day to attack your piles to keep them from getting too big.
- Remembering things? Keep a running list, in a bound notebook, of things that need to get done. (No loose pieces of paper) Also, leave visual reminders around the house — think Post-it notes on the mirror, fridge, and back door.
Create a few systems that work for you to manage the things you need to manage.
3. Ask for help
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People are notoriously bad at asking for help. They want to be able to do everything themselves, and the prospect of asking for help seems like a failure to them.
But there are some things that you just can’t do by yourself, and it’s okay to find someone who can help you with them or who can do them for you.
My daughter, the filmmaker, found that she had a really hard time managing all of the details around making her films. Her best friend, however, thrives on details. So they work together, as director and producer, and the films get made with less emotional wear and tear on my daughter.
Who do you need to help you? A housekeeper? A financial manager? A personal assistant? Figure it out (or ask someone to help you figure it out) and get some help.
If finances limit your ability to get help, consider bartering. There are things that you are good at, things that others aren’t, so offer a trade. You will both win in the end!
By reframing help-seeking as a sign of strength and self-awareness, individuals can unlock opportunities for positive change and well-being. Research concluded that help-seeking can reduce uncertainty, foster social connections, and create emotional closeness.
4. Take care of themselves
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Taking care of yourself is an essential part of managing your life. Sleep, exercise, and diet can make a huge difference in living successfully.
Specifically, you must get enough sleep. Enough sleep will allow your brain to function at its optimum level.
Get 30 minutes of exercise every day, ideally exercise that raises your heartbeat. Exercise produces chemicals that allow your brain to think clearly.
Eating well is also important. Make sure that you have a varied diet, big on protein and vegetables, and foods that feed your brain and help it function. Taking an Omega-3 supplement daily has also been shown to help with improved brain clarity.
If you are going to do only one thing on this list, taking care of yourself is it. Start today.
5. Surround themselves with positive people
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People with struggle with depression because living in a mess can be very difficult and disheartening. To that end, people can tend to isolate, and really, that’s the worst thing that you can do.
It is important that people surround themselves with positive, supportive people, people who love and embrace them in spite of their difficulties. Being with people who don’t get you and who might look down on you is not what you want to be doing.
It is also essential that you have one person in your life whom you trust completely and who you will listen to. Someone who knows you and whom you can rely on to tell you the truth when they see something that is going on.
People with depression sometimes miss when things go awry. Having someone there who notices and tells you is key.
6. Exercise their brains
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People have brains that can sometimes wander off without them, leaving them frustrated and feeling alone. It is possible to take control of your brain, to teach it to behave in a way that serves you best.
Some good ways to gain some control over that wandering brain of yours:
- Yoga: Yoga helps you use the breath to manage your thoughts.
- Meditation: Meditation also helps you manage your thoughts and gives you increased control over how your brain processes work.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: This is a sort of therapy that again helps you manage your thoughts and your brain functionality.
- Positive thinking: Focusing on the positive instead of the negative is a key part of living successfully. Focus on what’s right in your life instead of what's wrong.
- Accepting yourself: Know that this is who you are and that it’s just fine. It’s more than fine.
By proactively engaging in activities that improve both physical and cognitive health, individuals can equip themselves with better tools to manage stress, regulate emotions, and improve their ability to organize and navigate the complexities of life.
Some studies suggest that cognitive training, particularly when focusing on emotional tasks or in conjunction with mindfulness, can improve emotional regulation
8. Reduce distraction
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I know you don’t want to hear this one, but it’s gotta be said. Our increasing use of electronics and our use of multiple electronic devices at the same time is making it so that our brains are having a harder and harder time focusing.
I watch my daughter as she tries to work. No sooner does she settle in than an alert goes off on her phone. She picks it up to attend to it and then gets back to work. For about 20 seconds. And then her phone goes off again.
And then, something comes across her Instagram page that needs to be dealt with immediately, and before she knows it, an hour has passed with no work done.
So, if you need to get some stuff done, put your phone away. It doesn't have to be forever. Set your timer for a set period (perhaps an hour) and focus on what has to be done for that period of time. When the timer goes off, you can tend to your phone again.
Trying to organize your life can be very challenging, but it’s not impossible. So find your passion, believe in yourself, surround yourself with good people, and ask for help. Exercise and nourish both your body and your mind.
Next month, my daughter has the first staging of a play that she is directing. I think back often to 2nd grade when her teacher wouldn’t even show me her workbooks because she was such a mess.
She and I have learned since then that while her brain isn’t so great with workbooks, it can easily see just how to pull together people and ideas to create an amazing work of art. You can, too! Go for it!
Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC-based Certified Life Coach who works with individuals who strive to heal their toxic relationships so they can have their happily ever after. Mitzi's bylines have appeared in The Good Men Project, MSN, PopSugar, Prevention, Huffington Post, Psych Central, among many others.
