Teacher's Husband Says It's 'Morally Wrong' For Her To Go On A Girls' Trip For Spring Break
Can't a woman have some girl time?
Enrico Martins / Canva Pro If there is one thing every woman is entitled to, it’s a vacation. Whether they choose to take a trip with family, friends, or alone, every person has the right to decide the kind of getaway they need.
If your partner tries to guilt and manipulate you into skipping a vacation with your girls, simply because they will not be there with you, this is a sign of immaturity and insecurity — and you better go on that trip.
A teacher asked Reddit users for advice after her husband told her it was ‘morally wrong’ for her to go on a girls’ trip for spring break.
In her Reddit post, the 32-year-old woman explained how she has been married to her 27-year-old husband for four-and-a-half years, and they have two children together, aged two and four.
She claimed to take care of the majority of their family’s household responsibilities and she wanted a break. Five of her co-workers were planning a girls’ trip to Florida for spring break, and she asked her husband if he was okay with her going with them.
She said four of the five women are married and they’re all over 30. The plan was to book a two-bedroom place in Destin, Florida for four or five nights to disconnect from their responsibilities and “relax on the beach.”
“We have no intentions of going clubbing or anything like that,” the woman explained. “I just want to have a drink on a beach, reading a book, without being interrupted every minute.”
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To her surprise, her husband claimed she should not have the desire to take a trip without him or their children, claiming that it was “morally wrong” and “weird.”
Her husband had the freedom to travel without her.
In her post, the woman asked if she should consider his feelings and miss the trip even though she thought it was healthy for adults to occasionally take trips without their partner or family.
In an important turn to her recount, she added that her husband took fishing and camping trips with his brothers and friends a few times a year, and generally spent a lot of time on hobbies and interests while she prioritized their household.
She even encouraged him to spend more time with his friends, to which he replied, “I'd rather be with my family."
She further justified that they take family vacations together and she wouldn’t be pulling any funds out of their family vacation budget instead using her “play money” for the trip.
She thought her husband was trying to guilt her into not going by using her children against her when she had never given him any reason not to trust her.
“To me, his behavior is incredibly controlling and insecure,” she said.
A healthy partner will respect your choices and boundaries if you express your desire to take a break.
Her husband’s behavior is indicative of an unsupportive partner who places his selfish wants and needs before his wife's. A healthy relationship is comprised of mutual understanding and respect for each other’s desires.
Many Reddit users claimed her husband was exhibiting childish behavior and simply didn’t want to hold down the fort while she was gone. They said he needed to step up and take responsibility as the father of their children.
“He’s able to go on fishing trips multiple times a year and she can’t go on ONE trip with her friends?! He doesn’t want to have to look after his children [and] home, that’s what it is,” one person observed.
“He’s being selfish and doesn’t want to parent by himself,” another person commented. “Time for some couples counseling, but still go on the trip. You can use this time to prepare him to be a full parent.”
One Reddit user shared a similar experience with a controlling partner and claimed the teacher’s husband’s behavior was no different. “He thinks that her place is in the home and that she should be serving him and taking care of the house and taking care of the children,” the person wrote. “He doesn't want her to go because he can't keep tabs on her if he can't see where she is.”
Girls' trips are good for the soul.
Every woman should embrace the joy of celebrating freedom and friendship with a girls' getaway.
Because women take on so much in their roles as mothers, wives, and daughters, they deserve quality time with their girlfriends to de-stress, relax, and recharge.
If the teacher desires time with friends to reconnect and return home restored, her husband should support her wishes, trust her, and encourage her to focus on her needs.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, and spirituality topics.