Talking To Your Mom On The Phone Feels Just As Good As Getting A Hug, According To Research
We all need support from our mothers, regardless of our age.
Jacob Lund | Shutterstock If you have a healthy relationship with your mom, there’s a good chance that she's the first person you reach out to when you’re stressed. There’s something so soothing about hearing your mom tell you everything will be okay.
It turns out that feeling is quite universal. Whether you're chatting in person or over the phone, researchers have found that simply talking to your mom reduces stress.
Researchers discovered that talking to your mom on the phone can provide the same stress relief as having her in the same room with you.
In 2012, a team of researchers led by Leslie Seltzer, a post-doctoral fellow at University of Wisconsin-Madison’s Child Emotion Lab, published their interesting findings in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B. Seltzer and her colleagues concluded that there is really no difference in stress reduction between talking to your mom in person or doing so over the phone.
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Summarizing the study for Psychology Today, Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D., reported that the team of researchers tested 68 girls aged seven to 12, whom they put through stressful situations and then divided into four groups. The girls were asked to complete math problems and public speaking assignments before an audience for 15 minutes.
After going through that intense 15 minutes, the girls were then designated one of four tasks. Some waited alone without having any contact with their mothers. Others saw their mothers in person and spoke to them face-to-face. Another group talked to their moms on the phone, and the fourth group communicated with their moms through instant messaging.
The study found that simply hearing your mom's voice had the same effect on stress as if she gave you a hug.
The researchers then measured the girls’ level of cortisol, known as the stress hormone, and oxytocin, which Lewandowski described as “a hormone linked to bonding, trust and empathy.” What they discovered was surprising.
The highest levels of oxytocin were found in the girls who spoke to their mothers, either in person or via phone. And, despite what one might assume, there was actually no difference between the two. They concluded that this meant the benefit for the girls came from hearing their mothers’ voices.
Conversely, the groups that had no contact with their moms and connected with them only through instant messaging had fairly similar levels of cortisol. Therefore, there is no strong, noticeable benefit to texting one’s mother as compared to hearing her voice.
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Researchers were excited and intrigued by their findings.
In a statement about the study, Seltzer said, “It was understood that oxytocin release in the context of social bonding usually required physical contact. But it’s clear from these results that a mother’s voice can have the same effect as a hug, even if they’re not standing there.”
Seth Pollak, the director of the lab for the team, said in a statement of his own, “That a simple telephone call could have this physiological effect on oxytocin is really exciting. For years, I’ve seen students leaving exams, and the first thing they do is pull out their cell phone and make a call. I used to think, ‘How could those over-attentive, helicopter parents encourage that?’ But now? Maybe it’s a quick and dirty way to feel better. It’s not pop psychology or psychobabble.”
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Parents play a large role in helping their children when they’re stressed.
According to Nemours Kids Health, all children will face stress in their lives. Parents can support them by “[helping] them feel safe and loved” and preparing them for the difficulties they will face. Overall, the most important thing parents can do is just be there for their children.
By being available for a conversation, whether it’s in person or over the phone, moms give their children a much-needed outlet for reducing stress at any age. You’re never too old to need some help from your mom, and this study serves as proof that a mother’s love can be effective in almost any situation.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
