Successful People Who Stay True To Themselves Do These 5 Things Without Anyone Knowing
Jacob Lund | Canva Not long ago, I meat a woman who was recently retired and trying to find a new life direction. She had money — she had already become a multimillionaire after selling her company. But she wanted more. Now, before you say you can't feel bad for a millionaire, this problem is one many of us can relate to!
All she had focused on for so many years was income. Now what? After crossing her own "financial finish line," as millions of us aspire to, she hit a dead end. Her expected magical sense of fulfillment and completion was missing and had left her feeling deflated and lost.
That's because the many small compromises made along her route to success cost her sense of self. Like many others, she bought into the misguided illusion of "I'll be happy when ... " and then felt hollow once she arrived at "when".
It is possible to be successful There's one way to do this — you need to keep your authentic self at the center of every choice you make.
Successful people who stay true to themselves do these 5 things
1. They transform goals into transistions rather than end-points.
According to research, if the goal is to prove (to yourself or others) that you have worth or value, achieving those goals won't help you feel more value. In fact, these types of goals can lead to depression, according to one study.
Here's a very simple example of how setting goals as as destinations can set you up for disappointment: Raising children is highly stressful and can provide meaning and fulfillment to our lives but not always "happiness". So, if you believe having children will make you happy or make you feel like you are finally "worthy" of love, you may find yourself disappointed.
Relief often comes when we let go of any notion of one ultimate finish line and allow ourselves to enjoy the never-ending leap from one life chapter to the next. Each stage, each challenge, can be a transition rather than an end point so we can appreciate the process as part of the goal.
2. They let every moment truly count.
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Einstein theorized a "continuum" of time because, as far as we know, there are no missing points in space or instants in time. This translates to each moment being as relevant (and potentially whole) in and of itself as any other. Highly successful people use this awareness to enjoy all of their moments (big and small) and squeeze sweeter "feel-good juice" out of every experience and interaction.
If you establish one goal as the essence of your identity, then when the goal is accomplished — or if it is not, if you fail or make a mistake in its pursuit — then your whole identity may feel like its been undermined, creating what some people might call an identity crisis. Professor Roy Baumesiter reports that, "Identity crises appear to be the symptom of the modern emphasis on requiring each person to create and define his or her own identity."
Instead, let every moment count. Stay in it, savor it, and let it become part of the rich tapestry of who you are.
3. They celebrate each step and are flexible during change.
Change happens (endlessly)! Learning to appreciate every baby step and stage of development while acknowledging the relevant growth in each step is crucial to attaining wisdom and enjoying life. Savoring (and welcoming) ongoing change helps you feel stable as inevitable, unexpected turns in life occur.
Flexibility supports longevity in any relationship or venture, and research supports this. In a survey of the available research, it was determined that psychological flexibility is a fundamental aspect of health. So celebrate your wins and be willing to change course if needed.
4. They choose "authentic" over "busy."
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Keeping an overbooked schedule is not more meaningful or important, nor is it a benchmark of success.
Conscious living is an active contributor in everything you do, whether you're a mom, CEO, or non-profit volunteer. Use your capacities to receive from life and share your time, skills, and knowledge. Staying "busy" keeps your wheels spinning, but a powerful, positive presence helps you go somewhere.
5. They rediscover who they are time and again.
Through many stages of life, our identity, style, and nature change to adapt to stress. We get into trouble when we alter our voice — both the inner voice that directs us and the outer voice that speaks up for what we believe — and sense of self to compromise and conform.
Although seemingly an honorable self-sacrifice to keep the peace for the family or one's workplace, it leads to resentment, regret, and even illness. And after a while, you lose your authentic self, which only you can reclaim.
Most of us feel "lost," from time to time, in the tunnel vision of daily details or hyper-focus on a specific goal or outcome. Learning to celebrate and balance your work, home, health, and family while cultivating daily fun time supports easier transitions into later post-goal chapters of life.
Let yourself leap fearlessly into what feels good in each moment without knowing what the future holds ... this is what our whole earth's existence is about!
There is a thrill in nothing ending or any one point in time being "everything." I love knowing no matter what, I always have new possibilities to eagerly anticipate in the endless game of life.
Cathleen Miller is an Intuitive Energy Practitioner & Intuitive Lifestyle Expert who works with clients internationally and also creates and leads world-class body-mind wellness retreats for top Condé Nast resorts.
