If You’re Stuck In A 'Why Is Everything Bad?' Mood, Try These 4 Small Things To Reset Your Brain
Gabriel Dizzi | Unsplash Practicing gratitude positively impacts anyone. However, even with its physical and emotional benefits, the shift from a mindset of 'Why is everything bad?' to one of gratitude can be very difficult. Many of us have what’s called a negativity bias — meaning that our brain is hardwired to focus on the bad, rather than the good.
So, instead of being grateful for all the great things in our lives, we tend to dwell on traumatic experiences and expect the worst to happen. When your own brain is the one sabotaging you, being thankful just doesn’t come easy.
If you’re stuck in a 'why is everything bad?' mood, try these small things to reset your brain:
1. Keep a gratitude journal — or don’t
Keeping a gratitude journal is one of the most common recommendations you’ll get if you look for tips to overcome your bias. You know the routine. At the end of every day, sit down at your desk and write three things you’re grateful for.
For many people, keeping a journal works fine and does help them become more positive, but don’t panic if it didn’t work for you. First of all, we don’t all love to write. And second, if you are struggling with depression, writing things down at the end of the day, when all you want to do is sleep, can feel draining.
Two alternatives you can try instead are taking pictures or setting reminders on your phone. Collect pictures of anything that makes you happy.
Beautiful sunsets, your puppy sleeping peacefully, a romantic date night, or a reunion with your high school bestie. All of these things are great reasons to be grateful. And if you don’t like writing about them, take a picture instead.
Setting reminders is a way to get prompts about things you’re thankful for. Have your phone remind you of a positive thing that happened. Or about someone in your life you are so happy you have.
2. Go on a digital detox
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Social media can be great, but sometimes it becomes a bit too much. If you already tend to see the negatives, scrolling every day through perfect depictions of someone’s life (although we all know they’re not always real) can make you feel like you’re not good enough.
Taking a break from social media, even for a couple of days, can help. It won’t be easy at first. But eventually, you’ll see that removing unrealistic comparisons will help you be more grateful.
Social media users are more likely to be exposed to upward comparisons, where others appear happier and living better lives, and those comparisons have been directly linked to lower self-esteem and depression. Studies have found that limiting social media to just 30 minutes a day can lead to measurable improvements in overall mental health.
3. Say thanks to someone every week
Are we surrounded only by amazing, inspiring, supporting people? Of course not. There will always be a stressful parent, an annoying co-worker, or a noisy neighbor around. But try to ignore the people who grind you down by focusing your attention on the people who make your day better.
Every week, single out one or two people whom you are grateful for and thank them. Contact a flower delivery service and send them a nice bouquet of roses, or just say thank you for making your day better. You’ll brighten up their day — the world needs that kind of positivity.
Relationship researcher Dr. Terri Orbuch found in her long-term study of marriage and divorce that couples who expressed frequent gratitude to each other were the happiest by a significant margin, with 61% of happy couples saying their partners "often" made them feel good about the kind of person they are, compared to just 27% of less happy couples.
4. Focus on the positives in a negative situation
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Often, when we’re in a negative situation, we let ourselves drown in it and don’t see it as an opportunity to learn and grow. But focusing on that one negative thing can make you develop tunnel vision, where you ignore all the other good things in your life.
Instead, whenever something doesn’t go your way, think of two other benefits you could gain in the long run. Was your connecting flight canceled? Instead of staying angry, think of it as an opportunity to go sightseeing and discover a city you wouldn’t have visited otherwise.
Finding something to be grateful about in a challenge is itself a form of positive reappraisal. According to research on cognitive reframing and resilience, while about 10 to 20% of a stressful situation may be objectively outside our control, the remaining 80 to 90% is open to interpretation, meaning how we choose to see a setback largely determines its emotional impact on us.
Will it always work? Of course not. But by doing this exercise, you’ll see that most of your problems aren’t really bottomless pits. They’re part of life, and they can help you in some way.
These are meant to be simple tools to help you become more grateful, but don’t be upset if your mindset doesn’t change overnight. Don’t be too hard on yourself. All of these exercises take time, but if you’re consistent, you’ll slowly learn to overcome your negativity bias and each day will be a little brighter.
Unwritten publishes content on relationships, love, mental health, wellness, and more.
