You Should Stop Listening When People Say 'You Don't Deserve This'

Never believe what strangers tell us about our own lives.

black woman with her arms crossed Ariana Smith from corelens via Canva

By Natalie Trznadel

It’s no secret that people love to give advice. They want to show off how much they know, so they have opinions on everything we do.

Most of the time, their advice is helpful. However, sometimes, their comments can unintentionally hurt others.

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I’ve heard a lot of hurtful comments throughout my life, but one particularly brings me down: You don’t deserve what you have.

I’m in my early 20s. I live in my own apartment and have a stable relationship, three jobs, and a cat. I am financially independent, and I am currently studying for my Bachelor’s degree.

When they look at my life, people love to assume that everything I have came easily to me. The problem is that they don’t know all I had to endure to get where I am.

When I was a teen, my life was the definition of a nightmare. I moved frequently, and, for a while, I didn’t have the safest home environment.


I achieved everything I wanted without any support from others. It was difficult, but my life now brings me immense satisfaction.

Most importantly, I’ve learned to celebrate my accomplishments no matter what. Relishing in my achievements is part of my self-care.

So whenever someone tells me that I don’t deserve what I have simply because I’m too young or they think my life is too “easy,” I don’t care. I ignore their words and carry on in the incredible world I’ve built for myself.

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Working to achieve my dreams wasn’t easy at the beginning, but the longer I’ve stuck with it, the more powerful I’ve come to feel.


I’m a firm believer in not judging anyone, especially those whom I know nothing about. We don’t know everyone’s struggles, so instead of judging others, we should focus on bettering ourselves.

And when others discourage us, we should remember that they’ll never know us as we know ourselves.

When you achieve your goals, celebrate. Don’t diminish your own accomplishments. Learn to do what you love even when you face criticism. After all, people will always criticize you because that’s the type of world we live in.

But we should always remember to never believe what strangers tell us about our own lives.

The next time a complete stranger tells you “you don’t deserve that” about one of your accomplishments, smile and ignore them. They probably wish that they were half as determined as you are!


Whether you just got your dream job, bought a car or an apartment or simply achieved something you’ve worked towards for a long time, cherish it.

And, most importantly, remember that you deserve it.

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Natalie Trznadel is a photographer, traveler, and writer and editor for Unwritten. Her work has appeared on Thought Catalog, Unwritten, and YourTango, focusing on lifestyle and relationship topics.