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Only then can you be truly happy with yourself.
By Brenda Della Casa
Last updated on Jan 30, 2024
If you have ever watched a smart, powerful woman walk into the room and hold her own with class, grace, and style, you know the effect she can have on those around her.
It’s not about being rude, demanding, or loud, but more about maintaining a personal constitution that guides her through difficulties and shines a light of inspiration so bright that others can’t help but want to follow in her footsteps. She's a strong woman in control — and you can be, too.
Here are 8 things strong, stable, secure women do differently:
1. They decide to be powerful
In this life, there isn’t one among us who will not experience fear, anxiety, insecurity, and all kinds of other “negative” emotions that can and will tear us down if we allow them to. It's easy to let those intrusive thoughts linger.
But strong women have chosen to make the powerful decision to fully commit to themselves for the long haul, come what may. They truly embrace the idea that they will never give anything (or anyone) the power to break them.
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2. They know what they stand for
Living in sync with your value system is commendable, as you don't allow anyone else to convince you otherwise. When you aren't living authentically, expect problems to arise when you don’t actually know what your values are.
Strong women take the time to pay attention to what matters most to them, while also doing internal checks every so often to make sure they’re not holding onto ideals and values that no longer fit their life.
Strong, stable, secure women are aware that not letting go of what no longer serves them can turn "honorable" into inflexible and limiting. And they just aren't willing to spend their lives living as someone they aren't.
3. They have a deep and meaningful faith in their ability to survive
While it’s not always easy to “keep the faith” in tough times, strong women remind themselves of all of the trials, tribulations, and traumas they've faced, moved through, and learned from in the past. In fact, it's a constant inspiration for them.
They see the fact that they're still standing and finding reasons to smile as all the evidence they need to know they'll be more than just “OK,” but also wiser and stronger after they move through whatever hurdle they're faced with.
There's no doubt in their minds that they can overcome whatever life throws their way. Even in the worst of times, they are strong enough to make it through.
Photo: Dziana Hasanbekava / Pexels
4. They don't force it
While it may hurt to let something or someone move on, strong women know that the tighter you clasp onto something, the harder it will pull away.
It's for this reason they live authentically in their own space and allow what's meant for them (and worthy of their time and attention) to come in and stay on its own. This is why when something ends, you won’t find them running after it or trying to convince another party to stick around.
It doesn’t mean they don’t hurt or feel disappointed; they just accept these feelings as a part of the grieving process.
5. They invest in themselves
Whether it’s learning something new, putting more effort into their wardrobe, pushing themselves to go to the gym to be healthy, or taking that big step and going to therapy, strong, stable, secure women know that the investments they make for themselves and their life offer guaranteed dividends.
They try to do something each and every day to push themselves forward, even if it's simply reading up on what’s happening in the world, brainstorming with a creative colleague, or learning a new word. It's important to them to put themselves first.
6. They learn to let go of relationships that are not working
While all relationships take work, strong women don’t look for ways to prove their resiliency in them. They know there’s a solid difference between writing-a-book-dedication hard and carrying bricks-in-the-hot-sun hard.
Strong women know it’s not always easy to let go of toxic relationships (especially if they've invested a lot of time in them), but sipping poison every day will slowly kill their chances of living their best lives — and that’s not something they're willing to sacrifice.
7. They don't confuse strong with mean.
True strength doesn't always show itself through a force of power, and strong women know this. They treat those around them like valuable human beings while showing compassion, listening intently, and offering support when needed.
They know they can stand up for themselves and live a life true to who they are, all without putting others down.
Photo: Vlada Karpovich / Pexels
8. They know their worth — and honor it
Strong women don’t always feel beautiful, smart, charming, interesting, or even lovable, but they know that their very essence has intrinsic value.
They know what they're willing to give, what they're working toward, and what they offer the world. When they find themselves in a situation with someone who devalues that, they're the first to draw a line in the sand.
Because, above all else, they value themselves.
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Brenda Della Casa is a writer, journalist, speaker, strategist, author of "Cinderella Was a Liar," and founder of LoolaBee. Her bylines have appeared on Medium, PopSugar, Huffington Post, Glamour, Thrillist, Thought Catalog, Allure, among many others, where she covers lifestyle, relationships, and human interest topics.