5 Simple Habits People With Incredible Inner Strength Practice When Life Feels Crazy
LOOK | Canva When life feels crazy, the tug between savoring the moment and knowing you have to keep learning and moving forward is tricky. You need clear goals, but if life is too stressful, you barely keep your focus. It's a paradox, especially if you believe in letting go and trusting the universe. How do you savor the moment, while still keeping your dreams alive? You have to start where you are, unless you want to live in a land of ifs and maybes.
Working toward your goals is like aiming a bow and arrow. You’ve got to line up both sights: the one at the tip of the arrow (the future) and the one closer to your eyes (the now). If you want to hit your mark, both sights must be aligned. While you are firm in your stance to follow through, you give your goals a context and a larger intention, and the arrow hits its mark.
- How are you going to know when you've reached your destination if you don't have a clear picture of what it looks like?
- Are you living in alignment with your core beliefs? Are you working to create balance in all areas of your life today?
When you’re going through any big, chaotic change, research has suggested the importance of being extra-conscious of blending future visioning with present living. Make sure both sights are aimed to maximize your highest potential and that you're nurturing good habits that keep you centered.
5 simple habits people with incredible inner strength practice when life feels crazy:
1. People with incredible inner strength don't fixate on every detail
If you’re obsessing about the faux pas you made yesterday or the difficult conversation you have to have tomorrow, one of the easiest ways to bring you back to the present and savor the moment is to simply be in your body.
Create some sacred space for yourself. Turn off the phone and any nearby screens and light a candle. Then, in the stillness, just start to move. No music and no agenda. Just begin by sitting on the floor and listening to where your body wants to go. Add a "witness," and it becomes a kind of moving therapy called "Authentic Movement," originated by Jungian therapist Mary Whitehead in the 1940’s.
2. They take a breather
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Of course, one of the most powerful ways to come back to your present self is through meditation. The trick is not to allow your mind to wander too far backward or forward, so sometimes it helps to have something to focus on; your breath or a mantra/affirmation are two common ones.
Try this core-grounding meditation that research showed helped stress management: Breathe into your solar plexus, a network of nerves in the abdomen, on your inhale. As you exhale, imagine energy flowing down through your legs and deep into the Earth, where you can "wrap" it around a hook. Then on the next inhale, draw it back into your solar plexus and anchor it there. Try it two or three times and savor that moment of pure connection with your body and with the Earth. You can even do it standing up.
3. People with incredible inner strength keep their hands busy in calming ways
Our sense of touch is perhaps one of the strongest for keeping us in the moment. Create (or buy) a set of worry beads for yourself; just a simple string of beads you can finger as you speak your past and future worries out loud, releasing them into the universe so you can re-focus on the present.
Then, you can create your own “moment-savoring” amulet by choosing a favorite shell, stone, piece of jewelry, or some other meaningful object. Imbue it with those qualities you most need to remember when you’re spending too much time stewing about the would-haves, could-haves, and should-haves. It can be trust, acceptance, peace, whatever calls out to you. It’s amazing what a simple touchstone can do for bringing you back to center.
4. They look for the good
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Studies have consistently shown that gratitude is an all-purpose stress-releaser and chaos-buster. When you’re feeling like there’s absolutely nothing to savor about the present moment, take a breath or do your core-grounding meditation, sit yourself down in a comfy chair with some paper, and start small.
What are some of the people, habits, and daily experiences that you take for granted? Maybe you're thankful that your son went back to school today after being sick, you got to have your favorite tea this morning, or your best friend sent you a funny text.
Once you start with these little things, your gratitude muscle kicks in, and other bigger ideas bubble up: the sun is shining today, a new work project showed up, you’ve confirmed your vacation plans. Reminding yourself of all the positive things in your life really has a magical effect on changing your perspective.
5. People with incredible inner strength do stuff just because it's fun
What better way to pull yourself out of a downward spiral than doing something a little (or maybe a lot) fun? Go to the playground and hit the swings. Crank up your favorite tune, grab your air guitar (a tennis racket works great), and wail away.
If you’re feeling a little more adventurous, head out to a karaoke bar with a friend. Or sit down with a baby nearby and make it your mission to make them laugh with funny faces and antics. Really, there’s nothing more infectious (and mood-enhancing) than baby giggles. Studies have found that laughter is literally medicine because it reduces cortisol, the stress hormone.
Are you getting the picture? When life is chaotic and stressful, and you feel like everything’s spinning out of control, the idea is to take charge and decide what you want your “now” to look like. If you can bring your awareness back to the present and find even the smallest ways to savor the moment, you’re on your way back to sanity.
Deborah Roth is a Life & Career Transition Coach and Interfaith Minister who founded Spirited Living to help guide spirited women and men through life’s big changes with joy and ease.
