The Art Of Being Respected: 10 Simple Habits Of Naturally Respected People
Respect isn't demanded — it's earned.
Eyüpcan Timur | Pexels True respect isn't something you can demand or manipulate. It's something you earn through the consistent demonstration of character and genuine care for others. The most naturally respected people understand that respect flows toward those who embody the qualities we all admire, regardless of wealth or social status.
You don't need to overhaul your entire personality or pretend to be someone you're not. The path to becoming someone others naturally respect starts with small, daily choices that compound over time into a reputation that precedes you and a character that speaks for itself.
Here are 10 simple habits of naturally respected people:
1. They're relatable
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Great leaders know that they need to be relatable to inspire people to action. If a leader is seen as too ‘perfect,’ they will not inspire trust but rather detachment. Great leaders are willing to expose some flaws to encourage others to be ok with theirs.
When individuals, especially leaders, show vulnerability and honesty by sharing their mistakes and personal growth, they build a genuine connection with others.
According to a 2022 study, when people see that you have experienced similar struggles, their guard comes down. You are no longer seen as an intimidating figure, but as someone who overcame challenges, which is immensely motivating.
2. They don't act aloof or superior
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Great leaders communicate with those around them as equals, whether it’s the bathroom attendant or their top manager. This doesn’t mean the hierarchical order is ignored, whether in a company or a family.
Hierarchies are there for a good reason, but they are challenging to maintain when members feel looked down on. They will resist this, leaving the leader confused at his lack of impact. A great leader ultimately seeks to make others look and feel good.
3. They tell the truth — even when it's hard
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If a leader resorts to telling lies to maintain order in his leadership, he is doomed. Lies have a short shelf life. They will either eventually be unearthed or pollute the environment because people sense something is off. When information is sensitive, it can be withheld, but great leaders always tell the truth.
Research shows that honesty is foundational to building trust and strengthening relationships, both professional and personal. While lying to a partner can temporarily avoid discomfort, it ultimately erodes intimacy and connection, even if the deception is not detected.
4. They're not politically correct
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You need to tread with care here. I’m talking about leaders who have no interest in sugar-coating or straight delusion as a means to impress their followers. They are willing to lose societal brownie points to serve their people best.
They are okay with upsetting a few to serve the majority. I don’t care how shiny of an image you’re presenting. We can all smell your lies, and when we do, we do not respect you — even if we pretend to.
5. They show rather than tell
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The best leaders are intentional about encouraging others to be courageous. But they will have trouble if they do not demonstrate it in their actions. When an opportunity presents itself, they let go of their need for self-protection, step up to the plate, and astound with their bravery.
While a person can use words to conceal their true feelings, intentions, and sincerity, actions are often more truthful. Research indicates that when a person's words and actions contradict, most will tend to believe the actions. This is particularly true in situations where a verbal promise is not backed up by tangible deeds.
6. They understand frame control
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The best leaders understand the concept of frame control, which is the secret to outstanding leadership. What is frame control? It is the ability to exert your reality as a leader while maintaining harmony.
When an employee is abusive, the worst leaders will react with anger, thus losing frame and respect. The best leaders hold their ground by remaining calm, even if they want to shout, thus enforcing a paradigm of psychological status and maturity that others will ultimately follow.
7. They don't rely on expectations
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A very common mistake I see leaders make is basing the effectiveness of their operations on assumptions. They expect people to behave a certain way and are upset when those expectations are not met.
Maybe Joe expects his sales team to continue hitting higher numbers, but many don’t. Instead of using the hope strategy, great leaders continually make firm contracts with people on what matters. People respond far better to clear, spoken, win-win agreements. Now their people have something to prove instead of something against which to rebel.
8. They never ignore the bigger picture
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Good leadership is about moving others to support the realization of a mission that goes beyond everyone involved. This gets people out of their woes and is a powerful element in energizing the collective. Find an emotional cause or set of values and commit yourself and everyone on board to that aim.
A broader understanding of a situation helps a person to consider others' feelings and motivations more effectively. Studies show that individuals with higher cognitive complexity are more consistent in their empathy and less prone to bias.
9. They're results-focused
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It’s not about being busy to maintain the illusion that things are happening. This is a total waste of valuable time and energy.
The best leaders are continually aware of the need to produce results in the direction of their stated objectives. People who successfully combine a results-focused mentality with a people-centered approach are seen as truly effective and respectable leaders.
This is because a leader's reputation is built from both "outside-in" (results) and "inside-out" (intentions and values) perspectives. A focus on results ignores the latter, which is vital for building lasting trust and integrity, argued one study.
10. They never avoid uncomfortable truths
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Most leaders avoid the real issues because they are scared. Great leaders are willing to turn up the flame and broach topics that take courage and can potentially upset and trigger. Why? Because they know that solutions lie beyond discomfort.
They are willing to go where few dare in the service of finding solutions. They use compassion in their approach, but they don’t avoid the needed uncomfortable conversations. We all have the capacity in us to be outstanding leaders. It takes awareness and care. Your impact on the world is within reach.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
