7 Signs You’re Mentally & Emotionally Outpacing Most Of Your Social Circle

As we change, oftentimes so do our friends. This can be sad, but it's natural to need new and different friends at times.

We find the right people when we need them and sometimes we outgrow them. It's not meant as an insult, simply that you're changing in ways some people in your social circle aren't.

Here are the signs you’re pretty much outpacing your social circle mentally and emotionally:

1. You have a different idea of fun nowadays

As humans, our interests change all the time. We might befriend a particular group of people when we love to go out and party a lot.

If you start to not find this as fun anymore, it may be hard to find time to hang out with those people. They probably don't want to do an early hike with you on Sunday, and you don't want to stay out late on Saturday. It’s very normal to outgrow a friendship and it happens to everybody.

Just be sure you're still inviting them to do things you like now and then, as others in the group may be feeling the same way.

2. You don’t notice when you haven’t spoken in a while

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When you’re best friends with somebody, you notice when you haven’t spoken to them in a while. It feels weird and like you’re missing something in your life (hence, why you’re friends with them).

However, if you can go days, weeks, or even months without talking to somebody, then maybe you’re outgrowing them. Science has proven that humans need friendships in order for us to be happy, so you don't want to neglect friendships for no reason. But if you notice that somebody isn’t making you happy anymore though, then it’s ok to let them go.

3. Your conversations stay on a surface level

This happened to me the other day. I got dinner with a friend I haven’t seen in six months and we had nothing to talk about. It was bittersweet when I left because I kind of had a feeling that we wouldn’t be hanging out any time soon. But it happens.

I’m grateful she was in my life when she was, but now we’re in different phases in our lives so we don’t have a lot in common anymore. That doesn't need to make anyone feel guilty because we are kind to each other and share mutual respect. We just aren't connected on the deeper levels.

If you have noticed that your conversations with a friend are always surface level, you might be emotionally outpacing them. Maybe you don’t feel as safe around them or maybe you only have the past to talk about. Either way, its very normal.

4. The effort is one-sided, either yours or theirs

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Like I said earlier, it is very common to outgrow a friendship.

Many people feel like they’ve outgrown a friendship when the other person only reaches out when they need something. In reality, truly deep friends reach out just because they want to be in your life and talk to you, not because they need a favor.

Or, if you feel like you’re the only one texting, it’s probably a sign to leave it be. They don't want the same things you do, and that's OK.

5. Reverting to old habits

This is a big one. If you are trying to break a bad habit (including really serious ones that can do physical harm to you), then you should be trying to not spend time with people who have the same bad habits. If partying triggers something inside of you that you don't like, you need to find friends who aren't partying a lot.

See, if you’re friends all have those same bad habits, it might be easy to get pulled in again. Especially if it’s people you trust or if you guys all used to do those things together. If you don’t like the person you are around those people, then it’s time to let go.

That doesn't mean you'll never be able to go somewhere with them or hang out. You just need to get past the point where that bad habit (even things as minor as gossipping or spending too much money) doesn't have such a grip on you, first.

6. They joke about or mock your personal growth

In that same vein, if your friends don’t support your personal growth, then what’s the point?

This goes for breaking bad habits, but also for other personal wins, such as a job promotion, moving to a new city, or dating somebody new. Or maybe even going to therapy or getting sober.

If your friends don’t make you feel good about yourself, then they’re not your friends. And it's even worse if you're constantly hyping them up but you get nothing in return. If you bring up that it's hurtful and they say something like "it's not that serious" or "we're just joking!" and don't say they're sorry, it's probably time to move on.

7. You walk on eggshells around them

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This is never a good feeling. Period. If you don’t feel safe enough to open up to your friends in case they judge you, then they’re not your real friends.

Sometimes we convince ourselves that this is normal or we’re making up the feelings in our head, when we’re not. If you can’t be yourself around your friends, then it’s a sign that you need a new group of friends who are a better match for your disposition.

Sophie Bagheri is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and theatre who covers lifestyle topics.