8 Signs That You, Yourself, Are Indeed A Narcissist
The narcissistic traits in yourself should be a wake-up call.
Sun Shock | Shutterstock While only a qualified mental health professional can diagnose someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), when it comes to determining whether you're a narcissist, people make it more complicated than it needs to be. There are no blood tests, X-rays, or exact scientific approaches that can identify whether you have NPD.
However, it is possible to tell if someone is narcissistic by paying attention to their behaviors, attitudes, and reactions to others. In fact, the signs that you, yourself, are indeed a narcissist become pretty obvious when you think about the way you act. If you find yourself in these behaviors, it's important to do some introspection and find professional support.
Here are 8 signs that you, yourself, are indeed a narcissist
1. You possess a deep need for perfection and control
fizkes | Shutterstock
Narcissists have an extremely high need for everything to be perfect. They believe they should be perfect, you should be perfect, and events should happen exactly as expected.
If you're a narcissist, you likely have strong perfectionist tendencies. Unfortunately, that sets you up for dissatisfaction, as your expectations are way too high for anyone to actually reach.
2. You feel superior to others
MDV Edwards | Shutterstock
The world of the narcissist is good or bad, superior or inferior, and right or wrong. And within that world, a narcissist feels superior. They have to be the best, the most right, and the most competent.
If you feel superior to others, it's one of the most obvious signs that you, yourself, are indeed a narcissist. But one study from Universiteit van Amsterdam indicated that this desire to be superior comes with repercussions.
"[A narcissist's] primary aim is to show others how superior they are, and they constantly crave admiration from others. When narcissists receive the admiration they crave, they feel proud and elated. But when they don't, they feel ashamed and may even respond angrily and aggressively," the researchers concluded.
3. You lack responsibility, blaming and deflecting on others instead
fizkes | Shutterstock
Although narcissists want to be in control, they avoid responsibility for results — that is, unless everything goes exactly their way. For you, if things don't go according to your plan or you feel criticized or less than perfect, you will project the blame externally.
Sometimes, that blame is generalized (e.g., all law enforcement), whereas other times blame is projected on a specific person who you believe limits your ability to do what you want to do, when and how you want to do it.
4. You lack empathy
Just Life | Shutterstock
Narcissists are well-known for their inability to empathize with others, and may also lack an understanding of the nature of feelings. A narcissist tends to be selfish and self-involved, and usually unable to understand what other people are feeling.
If you find yourself unable to empathize or be compassionate towards others, it's likely another of the signs that you, yourself, are indeed a narcissist. You expect others to think and feel the same way you do and seldom think about others' feelings. You're likely also rarely apologetic, remorseful, or accepting of guilt.
5. You insist everything has to be about you
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock
Everyone has experience with someone who only listens to themselves. They change the topic, get defensive, or become mad when other people talk about difficulties they've been experiencing. The narcissist is dismissive of what is said and may be quick to anger if other views are different than theirs.
As licensed marriage and family therapist Darlene Lancer pointed out, "A sense of entitlement reveals how narcissists believe they're the center of the universe. They're not only special and superior but also deserve special treatment. Rules don't apply to them."
If you're a narcissist, you make most of your decisions based on how you feel about something. You want what you want, without giving consideration to the impact the choice may have on others. And when people don't support your desires and choices, you react with irritation and resentment.
6. You have a never-ending need for attention
MDV Edwards | Shutterstock
According to research published in Personality and Individual Differences determined that narcissists conduct themselves in a way that brings attention to them, and is a core facet of how they communicate. But because they crave so much attention, no matter how much a person tells them they love, admire or approve of them, it's never enough.
Being a narcissist means you know that deep down, you don't believe anyone can love you. It's because you're actually insecure and fearful of not measuring up. Your constant need for praise and approval from others is an effort to shore up a fragile ego.
7. You lack the ability to be truly vulnerable
Gorgev | Shutterstock
Because of a deficiency in understanding feelings, your lack of empathy, and your constant need for self-protection, you have difficulty with love or connecting emotionally with other people. You cannot look at the world from anyone else's perspective, so you find it nearly impossible to open up and be vulnerable with others.
Additionally, you don't want to seem weak, which is how you perceive vulnerability. And this carries into your relationships, as you often overlap them or start a new one as soon as possible when you're no longer satisfied.
8. You take criticism personally
MDV Edwards | Shutterstock
One of the final signs that you, yourself, are indeed a narcissist is your inability to receive criticism, instead taking it all personally. When people try to reason or use logic in the hopes you will understand how your behavior impacts others, you may say you understand, but struggle with it.
You dismiss, negate, ignore, and minimize the concerns of others, especially when criticized. When someone does this, you'll blame and find fault in others to feel safer. Because if you were to put effort into personal growth, it would mean you're not perfect, and this is something a person with a narcissistic personality has trouble accepting.
Dr. Lisa Webb is the author of the Executive Marriage Solution: Translating Boardroom Success into Bedroom Bliss. She is also an entrepreneur, President and CEO of Body & Mind Consulting, and Chief Relationship Officer at Executive Relationship Advisor.
