5 Signs Someone Gives When They Secretly Dislike You

Even your closest friends and family can be deceiving.

Woman looking annoyed while turned away from a man. Africa Images / CanvaPro

Sometimes, even our closest friends can surprise us. Whether it be resentment or jealousy, there are often people in our lives who are secretly hoping the worst for us, putting negative energy into our reality. 

So, if their behavior isn't outright noticeable, how can you pinpoint these naysayers to ensure that you protect your inner circle from sabotage and negative energy? 

Psychology and relationship creator @factsjunkyard on Instagram suggests there are 5 behavioral signs that indicate someone in your life “secretly dislikes” you. Once you start to notice some of these things, it’ll be impossible to ignore their true feelings towards you in every interaction you share. 


Here are the 5 signs that someone might secretly dislike you: 

1. They get easily frustrated with you 

If someone constantly seems irritable around you or tries to make you feel bad about anything you have to say, chances are they aren’t your biggest fan. This might be one of the easier signs to pick up — especially with someone you know relatively well — because it’s hard to hide frustration. 

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In addition to outright comments, frustration can also be expressed with something as subtle as a change in behavior. Experts suggest nonverbal cues like avoiding eye contact, crossing arms, or forcing a smile could all be signs of annoyance or frustration in someone who secretly dislikes you. 


5 Signs Someone Secretly Dislikes YouPhoto: fizkes / Shutterstock

2. They’re constantly trying to avoid you

When you’re intentionally being avoided, especially in a relational or intimate context, it’s impossible to not feel that sting of envy or disappointment, especially when they’re engaging with others. It’s a feeling that many know all too well. 

Psychology Today suggests that oftentimes the reason we perceive others as “avoiding” us has nothing to do with ourselves at all — and could just be a sign of indifference. They don’t notice us or feel the need to interact with us, because they don’t care to — or they don’t know who we are, despite our perception of them. 


On the other hand, people often avoid based on “known perception” — where they anticipate something negative that you know about them or something you want from them, that they are trying to avoid. For example, if you flirted with someone you’re friends with and they weren’t necessarily interested, it might be easier for them to avoid the situation than to discuss it. 

5 Signs Someone Secretly Dislikes YouPhoto: Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock

So, while this sign could be a secret dislike, there’s a possibility that it could just be a misunderstanding that requires some further conversation if you want to maintain a relationship with them. 


3. Instead of paying attention, they listen to you half-heartedly

We all know someone like this. We’re chatting with them, only to see them looking over our shoulder or making indifferent comments about our stories. They clearly don’t care about what you have to say — you could simply walk away and they wouldn’t notice! 

While it might seem like the most outright sign of being disliked, the truth is sometimes we let it “slide” for people we’re close with. For example, if our best friend isn’t fully listening to us or giving us their full attention, we might make excuses — they have a lot on their mind, a big test coming up, or are trying to make dinner. 

Would you provide that same grace on a first date? Or with a stranger that you’ve never met? Consider that the next time you feel like you’re fighting for attention with someone that you love or care about. 

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4. They don’t make any effort to understand or empathize with you.

If you believe in the “what is meant to be, will be” perspective, this is a great sign for you to acknowledge. If someone is not willing to make compromises to understand your mindset, goals, or values, then they don’t deserve a place in your life. 

Stop sacrificing your peace of mind and well-being, trying to help someone else understand the most basic pieces of your identity. The people who are meant to be in your life will “get you.”

So, if you feel like you’re constantly explaining yourself to other people or get anxious thinking about all the things they’re saying behind your back — it’s not worth it to keep them around. 



5. They never invite you to social gatherings

If people show you who they are, you have to listen. If someone doesn’t invite you to a party, a friendly get-together, or a gathering where you’d expect an invite, unfortunately, chances are they just don’t want you to be there. 


It really does not have to be more complicated than that — especially if they never reached out or provided some kind of clarification for you. If they wanted you to be there, you’d have gotten an invite. That’s the way to look at friendships, especially as an adult. The people who care will show you that they care. 

Use these signs as beginning guardrails to protect your sacred energy. 

Of course, always remember, that the people around us define who we are — their thoughts and actions create our reality.

If you let someone continue to bring bad energy and negative thoughts into your life, you’re giving the universe permission to continue introducing it into your reality. 


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Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on pop culture and human interest stories.