How To Reclaim The Lost And Unloved Pieces Of Yourself

Photo: Ann Haritonenko /
Confident woman in hat

Is something missing in your life? Maybe you are constantly feeling the pull to search for something more. 

This feeling can range from a vague feeling that you misplaced something to a very strong feeling of being abandoned. If this resonates with you, then you might need to reclaim the lost and unloved pieces of yourself.

Find and reclaim the unloved pieces of yourself.

Over a decade ago, I booked a private tour that shared sacred spots on the island of Kauai. It was really interesting. I could feel the powerful energy of the ceremonial stones.

The same woman also offered a private session to reclaim pieces of my fragmented soul.

This didn’t really fit with my spiritual beliefs of how our souls work, but I signed up. Long story short, it was not worth my time or money. However, it did provide one of those experiences that let me cross it off my list for good.

I was in a tiny and stifling hot room of a private home. The neighbors were having a backyard barbecue with crazy, loud music. As she tried to lead me through a meditation I was completely lost in the surrounding party experience.

The soul retrieval adventure did, however, stir up a question.

What do we lose when we feel lost and broken?

Part of healing is reclaiming our missing light and becoming whole. I don’t believe that our souls can become fragmented. That would be like God experiencing fragmentation.

I view the universe as having God or light in everything. Like God, your soul is intentional in where it puts awareness and light; it can’t be in an unintentional form.

In our human experience, we can misplace our personal power, light, self-love, and magic. This is not our soul, but it is our unique light for this human journey. This light holds the blueprint of your soul and is a gift from the source.

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How do people lose their unique light?

Life holds many lessons and opportunities to grow or dim our light.

From the moment that we take our first breath, we can experience love and fear. Some of us are lucky to learn about unconditional love in our childhood. Others are lucky to have lots of love and security throughout life. Yet other people don’t experience unconditional love until much later in life.

Wherever you are in discovering your self-love, it most likely is not a, “one and done" experience.

There are many nooks and crannies that hold emotions in each of our life stories. There is not an average or common timeline for falling into deep love with life and self.

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How to reclaim your unloved pieces.

First, you need to identify what’s missing. Look at the following list and make a note of what is no longer found in your everyday life.

  • Do you experience joy?
  • Do you love yourself?
  • How do you show self-respect?
  • Where is your laughter?
  • How deep is your faith?
  • Do you know your life purpose?
  • Are you inspired by the possibilities in your life?
  • Do you know what your truth is?
  • Do you still have dreams about your life?
  • Do you value your self-care?
  • Is your wellness valued?
  • Do you feel self-empowered?
  • Do you have good boundaries?

Once the missing pieces have been identified, the next step is to determine when they were lost.

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When was your missing piece lost?

Recognize when and where it disappeared. This could be in your childhood, work environments, relationships, or any other place where you experienced disrespect and felt unheard, unseen, or unloved.

Sometimes paying attention to your self-talk can bring a clue to where you need love and where you lost your love. For example, if you call yourself ugly, look at where you first heard that. Was it in your home, the playground, or maybe someone is still speaking unkindly to you?

Here are some tips to help find your missing pieces.

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Additionally, here are some places to turn to when seeking answers:

Working with a therapist, life coach, or even support groups can help you discover the pieces of you that are lost.

If you have unresolved addiction issues, use a trained therapist to help you discover what is beneath the habit. You can always supplement this with other modalities to help create a loving life.

Commit to making changes in your life that support your healing. This may require you to cut ties with unhealthy relationships and environments.

It is never too late or too early to begin doing things that promote your self-love and happiness.

Can we ever completely love ourselves?

Our beautiful and sometimes achingly painful experience on Earth offers us endless ways to grow, rediscover inspiration, and love.

As we become complete, we recognize that self-love or self-realization is loving the core or essence of who we are. We may not love all of our actions, but we can grow to love our true selves.

Our universe is designed to help us stay inspired, as we continue to learn and express our highest self.

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Polly Wirum is an intuitive life coach, and writer. If you are ready to discover more about your deepest self, contact her for an intuitive astrological reading, psychic reading, or spiritual life coaching.

This article was originally published at Reprinted with permission from the author.