15 Questions To Ask Yourself When You Don’t Even Know What You’re Doing Anymore
Kareryna Hliznitsova | Unsplash When you're feeling lost and not sure what the heck you're even doing with your one wild and precious life, it can seem as though you might not ever be happy and find your way again. You feel disconnected and unsure of yourself. Your mental GPS is offline, and you don't know how you got here, but here you are.
That's okay; it's natural for this to happen once in a while. The important thing is that you don't let it overcome you. It can take time to start feeling like your old self again, but you can accelerate the process by asking yourself a few questions. Think of it as a mental health checklist.
Here are 15 questions to ask yourself when you don’t know what you’re doing anymore:
1. 'When did I start feeling this way?'
Analyze the circumstances surrounding the time you began to feel lost or disconnected from yourself. Did an event take place that set these feelings in motion? If so, what was it? Figuring out what triggered your current state of mind is the first step you need to take to get yourself back on track. You may be unconsciously feeling sad or angry about something, but not dealing with it. It's time to do some internal reconnaissance.
Psychotherapists suggest identifying the moment when your symptoms started appearing and what changed at that point as key to understanding emotional distress and regaining a sense of control. Identifying your triggers is essential because understanding what sets these feelings in motion helps you address the root cause of your current state of mind.
2. 'What am I missing?'
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Many times, people feel lost because they feel empty. If you feel like something is missing from your life, ask yourself what it could be. You may have your dream job, you may have already found your soulmate, but there might be something else you need to feel fulfilled. Deep down, what do you want more than anything?
3. 'What makes me feel good?'
People who suffer from depression often feel lost or like they're in a daze. You may have been in a funk for so long already that you forgot about the things you really enjoy. Think back to a time when you were happier or when you felt alive or present. What were you doing then that you're not doing now? Maybe it's time to re-engage in those activities.
Behavioral activation research shows that depression keeps people from doing things that bring enjoyment and meaning to their lives, creating a downward spiral. Re-engaging in activities you enjoyed before feeling depressed can reverse this cycle and improve your mood by increasing positive reinforcement from your environment.
4. 'What matters most to me?'
The answer to this could be concrete, or it could be abstract. For example, you may have a passion for animals, but you ended up in an accounting job. Or perhaps you value loyalty above all else, and you feel like someone has betrayed you. In both of these instances, you are theoretically stuck in a place that doesn't satisfy your emotional needs. Ask yourself what matters most to you, and do you have it?
5. 'When was the last time I felt connected to myself?'
When you're feeling lost, you feel alienated from yourself. Reflect on your life: When did you feel most in tune with yourself and the world around you? Once you find the answer, compare it to what is going on in your life right now. Why did you feel most connected with yourself at X time in your life? Retrace your steps and dig deep.
People with depression often feel disconnected from experiences that once brought them pleasure and a sense of mastery, research found. Reflecting on when you felt most engaged with yourself and your environment can help you identify what meaningful activities to reintroduce into your life.
6. 'When was the last time I tried something new?'
Maybe you're not feeling lost so much as you are feeling a sense of ennui. Being bored or feeling suffocated by your daily routine can take the energy right out of you. Try something new to jumpstart your engine.
Sometimes all it takes to start feeling like yourself and learning to be happy again is a change of pace. Try a new physical activity to get your blood pumping or visit a cultural site to get some cerebral exercise.
7. 'Am I truly happy?'
When you ask yourself this question, make it a point to truly reflect on your overall satisfaction with where you are in life. Think about what brings you joy and determine the areas in which you feel unfulfilled.
Are there certain activities, relationships, or accomplishments that make you genuinely happy? Consider whether your current path aligns with your core values and aspirations, and explore new ways to make positive changes.
A 2019 study found that people who align their actions with their values report significantly higher levels of happiness. Reflecting on whether your current path matches your aspirations is essential because misalignment on those things can lead to psychological distress and feeling dissatisfied with life.
8. 'What are my greatest achievements?'
Look back on your life and acknowledge the important milestones and accomplishments you've achieved, whether they are big or small, personal or professional. Give yourself credit for your successes and recognize all of the hard work and dedication that went into reaching those goals. Identifying your greatest accomplishments boosts your self-esteem and is a great reminder of your capabilities.
Your accomplishments, even the small ones, boost self-esteem and reinforce a positive self-image, a study found. Recognizing them provides validation for your efforts and helps you remember how capable you were during difficult times.
9. 'What is the biggest lesson life has taught me?'
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Think about all the challenges you've faced over the years and the lessons you've learned from them. Throughout life, we will no doubt face certain hardships, but it's how we grow from the experience that holds valuable insights. How have these lessons shaped your character? How have they influenced your decisions? Reflect on the wisdom and insight gained from these experiences.
10. 'Am I doing too much?'
Have you made time for yourself lately? If you're taking on too many tasks or responsibilities, you could be stretching yourself too thin. Being productive is healthy, but running yourself into the ground is not. Everyone needs to take a breather once in a while and allow themselves personal time.
Research published by the Cleveland Clinic shows that working more than 55 hours a week or sacrificing self-care for overwork leads to burnout and serious health consequences. Taking regular breaks and making time for personal needs is essential for maintaining your physical and mental health.
11. 'Am I not doing enough?'
Mental health is a balancing act. The flip side to doing too much is not doing enough, and that can also be the culprit behind feeling lost. There's a difference between relaxing and being idle. You need to be active and engaged in order to fully experience life. While downtime is important, too much of it can make you feel like you are lacking purpose.
12. 'Am I fulfilled by the people in my life?'
Reflect on the relationships you have, whether it's with your friends, family members, or romantic partners. Do these connections uplift and support you, or do they only bring negativity? Be sure to surround yourself with positive, supportive people who lift you instead of tear you down. And if it does turn out that there are certain toxic people in your life, take the proper steps to create distance between you and them.
Relationship quality directly impacts mental wellness. Supportive partnerships reduce stress while toxic ones can lead to depression, according to research. Surrounding yourself with positive people who uplift you is essential because healthy relationships contribute to overall life satisfaction.
13. 'Have I been settling?'
Be honest with yourself about whether you've been settling for less than you deserve, whether it's at work, in your relationships, or in your own journey of personal growth. Think about how a fear of change or the comfort of familiarity may lead you to accept mediocrity. Ask yourself if you are truly happy with your current situation, or if you desire more to feel less lost.
14. 'Do I believe in myself?'
It's essential to believe in yourself to move past feelings of self-doubt. Think about any negative thought patterns that may be holding you back from moving forward, and make the choice to take on a more empowering mindset. By nurturing the belief in yourself, you are better able to overcome any hurdles life throws your way and deal with any problems with resilience.
Believing in yourself helps individuals persist and have a sense of resilience amid adverse situations, research shows. The stronger your belief in your own capabilities, the greater your ability to keep on keeping on when facing life's challenges.
15. 'Who can I talk to?'
It's important that you know you don't have to handle these feelings all by yourself. If you're feeling lost, you very well might need a helping hand to find your path again. Try talking about your feelings with a friend, family member, or even a therapist. It's hard to see clearly when you're stuck in a fog. Someone else might be able to give you a fresh perspective that you never considered before.
Taylor Markarian is a freelance writer and editor. Her work has been featured in Reader's Digest, Fox News, Insider, BRIDES, Alternative Press, Loudwire, Kerrang!, and MSN, among many other publications.
