People Who Stop Tolerating Disrespect & Manipulation As They Get Older Usually Get Called These 11 Things
They'll say you've changed, but what they really mean is you stopped letting them walk all over you.
bodnar.photo | Shutterstock Many people who are internally insecure and emotionally unintelligent struggle to accept and appreciate their emotionally intelligent peers. The behaviors that they lean on for comfort, like engaging in dependent relationships, over-apologizing, or overstepping boundaries, are the same ones that emotionally intelligent people refuse to tolerate. So, of course, there’s going to be tension, even to the point of name-calling.
People who stop tolerating disrespect and manipulation as they get older usually get called things like “difficult” or “dramatic” simply for protecting their peace and standing up for themselves. The same things that insecure and manipulative people struggle to do are what they attack emotionally intelligent people for doing. So, if you’re always feeling unappreciated or “called out” for simply setting boundaries, chances are you’re surrounding yourself with the wrong kinds of people.
People who stop tolerating disrespect and manipulation as they get older usually get called these 11 things:
1. Dramatic
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People who stop tolerating disrespect and manipulation as they get older are likely more self-assured with age. They’re less willing to sacrifice their own comfort, well-being, and mental health for someone else’s benefit, so they set boundaries and protect themselves openly. However, gaslighters may try to undermine that confidence, making them feel “crazy” or “dramatic” for prioritizing themselves.
Gaslighting, according to a study from the Personality and Social Psychology Review, often revolves around making the victim question their reality and cultivate self-doubt. The more they question their own needs and power, the easier they are to manipulate.
So, naturally, someone who’s trying to disrespect or gaslight you will call you “dramatic” — they want to undermine and invalidate the confidence fueling your self-advocacy.
2. Arrogant
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True arrogance is often characterized by a lack of competence and the presence of overconfidence, leading to disappointment and isolation. While a truly arrogant person misleads people and acts in accordance with ego, people who stop tolerating disrespect and manipulation as they get older lead with self-assuredness, humility, and intuition.
According to a study published in the Psychological Science journal, there’s even a link between perceptions of rudeness and gender, with women typically characterized as “rude” for displaying the same kind of assertiveness and self-advocacy that men are praised for.
So, if you’re often seen as arrogant by less emotionally intelligent peers but are empathetic and kind to those who matter, it’s likely they’re simply jealous of your accomplishments and confidence.
3. Entitled
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Entitlement is expecting access to other people’s space, love, time, and energy without reciprocity. Emotional intelligence and resilience are expecting respect, honesty, and intention based on respect for oneself.
If someone calls you entitled because you’re standing up for yourself and setting high standards for the people in your life in a healthy way, chances are they’re just frustrated because it calls their own insecurities and lack of effort into the spotlight. If they aren’t willing to grow, support you, or overcome insecurity to love thoughtfully, they will dismiss your expectations as “entitled” or “impossible.”
The good news is that you don’t have to keep these people in your life. If you set your boundaries, figure out what you want, and practice communicating those needs to others, these kinds of people will see themselves out.
4. Toxic
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It’s not uncommon for toxic people to project their own manipulative thoughts and behaviors onto others — calling them “toxic,” even when they’re the ones being unhealthy, cruel, or mean.
According to counselor Stephanie A. Sarkis, projection is a psychological defense mechanism that gives manipulators the ability to avoid taking accountability for their own hurtful behaviors and tendencies.
So, if someone calls you toxic for setting boundaries, having high standards, or standing up for yourself even if it threatens their comfort and manipulation tactics, they’re likely projecting their own internal desires onto you.
5. Difficult
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If you’re being “difficult” for an emotional manipulator to deal with, chances are that’s a compliment. You’re not falling victim to their gaslighting techniques, making compromises at the expense of your own well-being, or making it easy for them to take advantage of you.
That’s why people who stop tolerating disrespect and manipulation as they get older often take on the label of “difficult” — but, so be it. Setting boundaries isn’t always comfortable or easy, especially in the face of someone who thrives and benefits when they have total access to you, but that doesn’t mean they’re not necessary.
6. Intimidating
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When a manipulative or emotionally unintelligent person says someone's intimidating, chances are they just see their self-assuredness as a threat to their own comfort. They can’t get away with toxic behaviors and feel held to a higher standard, all of which are hard to cope with without confidence and security on their own.
While there are many innocent things, like appearance, introvertedness, and body language, that can spark intimidation in others, people who stop tolerating disrespect and manipulation as they get older are often called this by manipulators who want to break down their confidence.
They believe that softening their personality or being more open will make them easier to exploit, even if that’s not really true.
7. Hard to love
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Many people misunderstand true emotional intelligence, thinking that self-awareness or emotional regulation means always being "nice." As a result, when they actually call out toxic behavior, walk away from unhealthy relationships, and stand up for themselves, they’re labeled as "hard to love" instead of being seen as “confident” or “empowered.”
If you want to love someone who’s truly emotionally intelligent and confident later in life, you need to be willing to grow yourself. If you’re not meeting expectations, putting effort into a relationship, or being open to vulnerability and communication, chances are you’re not going to feed into a healthy and loving relationship dynamic.
8. Changed
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If you’re around the wrong people or manipulators who benefit from you being passive and people-pleasing, chances are they’ll use phrases like “you’ve changed” as a way to ridicule you. However, these changes are often associated with better well-being, especially if emotional intelligence, regulation, and self-esteem are the things changing for the better.
People who stop tolerating disrespect and manipulation may be called “changed” by their manipulators — offended that they no longer have access and control — but it’s truly a compliment. Healthy friends and genuinely loving partners will accept and evolve with your changes.
9. Judgmental
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Being judgmental and overly critical in a relationship can often make partners feel more alone and isolated. However, standing your ground, expressing concerns, and being vulnerable about emotions isn’t necessarily the same thing.
If you’re emotionally intelligent enough to recognize toxic behavior and express how it hurts you, someone else might be offended, but that doesn’t mean you’re “judgmental.”
People who stop tolerating disrespect and manipulation as they get older usually get called these things, not because they’re judging people for the sake of it, but because they’re expressing needs and setting boundaries. They’re not going to overlook toxic behaviors to make someone else feel comfortable or avoid conversations that other people can’t handle.
10. High-maintenance
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There’s a chance that when someone calls you “high-maintenance,” they’re actually just low effort. They prefer being around people who praise them for doing the bare minimum, instead of with a confident, emotionally intelligent person who expects them to show up thoughtfully and with purpose.
People who stop tolerating disrespect and manipulation as they get older might be called these things, but what they really want is respect, effort, and communication.
11. A know-it-all
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You should never feel pressured to scale back your passions, overlook your own success, or come down to the level of a resentful person in life. So, if someone’s calling you a “know-it-all” for expressing concerns, asking for change, setting boundaries, and simply being yourself, they’re operating from a place of insecurity and envy.
People who stop tolerating disrespect and manipulation as they get older are simply learning to listen to their own intuition. They know what they’re willing to tolerate, and if you’re not meeting their standards, they’re not afraid of calling it out or walking away for their own well-being.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
