People Who Self Isolate As They Get Older Usually Have These 11 Reasons
It's not just about being introverted ... sometimes self isolating is just a whole lot easier than dealing with people.
prokopphoto | Shutterstock In the past, most people dreamed of traveling the world with a bunch of friends by their side. However, as they've gotten older, some people have given up the dream of seeing the world for a much more quaint life. Blame it on their cottagecore fantasies, but people who self-isolate as they get older usually have certain reasons for doing so.
While self-isolation isn't always ideal, especially when it starts affecting mental health, there are times when pulling back makes perfect sense. Life gets messy, friends drift, and overstimulation becomes exhausting. Here are the honest, relatable reasons people tend to self-isolate as they get older.
People who self-isolate as they get older usually have these 11 reasons:
1. They're experiencing depression or anxiety
Katernya Onyshchuk | Shutterstock
People who self-isolate as they get older usually do so because they're experiencing depression or anxiety. Sure, it might sound like a flimsy excuse for some, but don't underestimate the impact. Depression or anxiety has a way of creeping onto people slowly, causing them to self-isolate without them even knowing.
According to a study in 2022, there's a relationship between social isolation and depression. With that being said, people shouldn't excessively self-isolate. While it might be tempting, it's equally important to depend on those closest during times of need.
Whether it's friends or family members, having a solid support group to lean on during times of need is the difference between crumbling and thriving during life's darkest moments.
2. They get overwhelmed easily
CrizzyStudio | Shutterstock
Sure, going out might be good for people's mental health; however, there's no denying that going out every single day is bound to get a bit much at times. And while some people might not understand this sentiment, people who self-isolate as they get older usually feel overstimulated.
Without even noticing it themselves, these individuals are quick to withdraw from overly loud events or even become highly irritated the longer they're out. And while this might seem abnormal, feeling overstimulated due to socialization isn't anything new.
According to writer Kathryn Watson and psychiatrist Andy Watkins-McCall, MD, MPH, "Multiple conversations going on in one room, flashing overhead lights, or a loud party can all produce the symptoms of sensory overload." So, while it's great to go outside and have fun, know those limits. Whether it's an hour or two, it doesn't matter. As long as people are taking care of their needs while keeping in mind their limits, it's okay to feel overwhelmed and, as a result, need a 'toxic' day.
3. They enjoy their own company more
viDi Studio | Shutterstock
It might sound rude for some, but people who self-isolate as they get older usually enjoy their own company. Let's face it: hanging out with other people isn't always fun. From friends pressuring you to rollerskate to family members being noisy, sometimes, you're your own best friend.
Now, don't get it twisted: of course, they love spending time with their loved ones. But after getting off work on a Friday night, the last thing they want to do is go along with their friends' devious plans. And while this might seem like a bad thing, taking time for themselves can be quite the opposite.
According to Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., "Freedom from the presence of other people, along with their wishes and expectations, can offer opportunities to rest and feel relaxed." So, while it might seem rude, in actuality, people who self-isolate as they get older are simply looking after their own needs, even if those needs are different from what their loved ones want.
4. They've become more selective with their energy
insta_photos | Shutterstock
As people grow older, life slowly begins to change, and the things they once wasted so much time on slowly become nonexistent. Blame it on their frontal lobe finally developing, but people who self-isolate as they get older usually are selective with their energy.
No longer keen on investing in people who don't invest in them, people who self-isolate would rather be their own best friends than be friends with someone who doesn't have their best interest at heart. And sure, it might seem a bit 'dramatic' at first, but people severely underestimate the impact negative friends have on someone's mental health.
According to the University of Georgia, negative interactions are associated with a rise in blood pressure for women, overall lower self-esteem, and worsening mental health. So, while they might seem dramatic, people who self-isolate are years ahead of the game and are mature enough to understand what is and isn't worth their time.
5. They've lost touch with their old friends
fizkes | Shutterstock
In the past, people used to spend every day of middle school and high school together with their group of friends. However, as people grow older, life gets in the way, which is why people who self-isolate as they get older usually do so because they have lost touch with their old friends.
It's sad, but people who self-isolate don't intentionally mean to lose connection with their best friends. Maybe a drastic move or a series of important events, like getting married or having kids, made them lose connection. Regardless, people don't intentionally go out of their way to say 'goodbye' to important relationships.
According to the American Psychological Association, people need healthy friendships as they're crucial for longevity. So, even if someone is self-isolating, if it's because they lost touch with their old friends, it's more likely than not that they miss their best friends every single day.
6. They value peace more than drama
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
There are two types of people in this world: those who live for the drama and those who run from it. While shows like Bridgerton might have us fawning over ourselves in excitement, the truth of the matter is that constantly being in drama is a headache that most people don't want to go through.
This is why people who self-isolate as they get older usually do so because they value peace over time. Sorry, but hearing the same old negativity repeated over and over again is bound to grow old at times. Even if someone doesn't mean anything about the gossip they're spewing, it should go without saying that anyone who invites negativity is slowly taking away from someone's inner peace, as it causes them a ton of stress.
According to a study in 2017, chronic stress can lead to psychiatric conditions. So, while they might not mean anything by it, as it stands, it's much better to throw away a person by self-isolating than it is to continue engaging in negativity.
7. They're completely burned out
Evgeny Atamanenko | Shutterstock
Sure, people might love their friends to the moon and back; however, that doesn't mean they don't get burned out from time to time. Whether it's work or school, everyone needs some downtime when things get overwhelming. This is why people who self-isolate as they get older usually do so because they're burned out.
Sorry, but it's a bit much to go out almost every single day without a break in between. Especially after getting home from a grueling day of work, the last thing someone wants to do is spend hours getting ready and hours staying up in an overstimulating environment.
This makes sense, as according to psychologist and author Sherrie Bourg Carter, Psy.D., "Burnout is a state of chronic stress that leads to exhaustion, detachment, feelings of ineffectiveness." So, while going out might sound fun, like anything in life, there's a need for balance. And if someone is feeling burnt out, it's okay to save that going-out card for another rainy day.
8. They crave deeper conversations
loreanto | Shutterstock
Maybe it's part of growing as an adult, but people who self-isolate as they get older usually do so because they prefer depth over small talk. There's nothing wrong with small talk; however, engaging in small talk constantly is bound to get boring from time to time.
As thrilling as it may be to ask, "What's your favorite color?" it's equally thrilling to ask about people's aspirations and figure out the ways their minds tick. While this might sound overly intense, according to a study in 2021, deep conversations lead to less awkwardness as they increase connectedness and enjoyment.
Unfortunately, not everyone is down for this. As amazing as it may sound, most people hate discussing their feelings too much or getting too vulnerable. This is probably why most people self-isolate in the first place. As great as it may be to ask the simple things in life, most people who self-isolate crave something deeper.
9. They don't always have a way to get around
vormonaman | Shutterstock
As most people know, cars are very expensive. From needing to get their tires changed to needing to get an oil change, it's easy to spend hundreds to thousands of dollars on maintenance and repairs alone. And as useful as cars may be, there's no denying that many people have given up on cars in favor of public transportation.
So, while it might not make sense for some, people who self-isolate as they get older usually lack transportation. Sure, it might sound silly, but nowadays people have to pinch their pennies in a way that makes sense for them. Whether that means cutting down on gas costs, sharing vehicles, or using public transportation, not everyone has reliable transportation.
This is why some people might self-isolate without really meaning to. As much as they'd love to go out, sometimes, their schedule and lack of transportation don't allow for it.
10. They're no longer interested in faking it
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock
In the past, people might've faked it until they made it just to make their loved ones happy. However, no longer the same person, people who self-isolate as they get older usually are no longer interested in faking it. Sorry to say, but pretending to be happy when someone truly isn't is bound to get exhausting at some point.
This is why most people who self-isolate do so in the first place. While they could be more open and honest about how they're feeling, the unfortunate truth is that not everyone is ready for that type of vulnerability, which is why they'd prefer to stay holed up in their room instead.
11. They've outgrown their circle
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
Finally, people who self-isolate as they get older usually do so because they've outgrown everyone around them. It's unfortunate, but not everyone is ready to mature or grow past their limitations. As much as people would love to believe that they've changed, there are people out there who still hang out with the same people and still have the same mindset, no matter what age they are.
And while there's nothing wrong with this, for the people who self-isolate, they crave something deeper and more mature, which is why people who self-isolate usually distance themselves in the first place.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
