People Who Feel Empty As They Get Older Usually Have These 11 Reasons
Sometimes heading toward your golden years doesn't seem so golden.
SB Arts Media / Shutterstock We all hope to live out our years in happiness and purpose, surrounded by family and friends who love us and want the best for us. We envision being well-cared for and at peace, satisfied with a life well-lived. But many older people feel empty and full of regrets as they age.
The reasons for this dissatisfaction can vary. These feelings might be newly emerging or a continuation or intensification of an existing feeling. Knowing the reasons behind older people feeling empty can help to provide solutions that encourage them to be more fulfilled and joyful.
People who feel empty as they get older usually have these 11 reasons
1. Loss of identity or purpose in life
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When we are young, we have big dreams. We seek success and find enjoyment in following our purpose. Young people wholeheartedly believe that if we do our best, we will reach all of our goals and dreams and have everything our hearts desire. But as the years pass, the timeline gets shorter and shorter, and anxiety kicks in.
As personal achievements start to slow down, children leave the home, and daily activities become more limited, aging adults may struggle to find a new purpose or identity for themselves.
2. Social isolation
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As time goes on, elderly adults face the loss of spouses or partners and friends. Kids move on to have families of their own, and there may be physical limitations that make getting out and interacting with others more difficult.
That loneliness and isolation can leave people feeling empty as they get older. It can also have negative impacts on mental health, leading to stress, anxiety, and depression. Loneliness also affects cognitive function and increases the risk of turning to substances to cope.
3. Health challenges
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As we enter our twilight years, our bodies may start to break down, leading to health challenges. Chronic pain, loss of mobility, and other health issues can contribute to a feeling of emptiness and incapacity. Issues with your health can put a pause on the activities that once brought you joy and fulfillment.
It is important to maintain a healthy lifestyle and get regular exercise in your early years, so you are at your best as you age. Even then, there are some things associated with getting older that may be unavoidable. Get to the doctor regularly, so you can catch them early on and deal with them more effectively.
4. Cognitive decline
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Conditions such as Alzheimer's Disease, dementia, and memory loss can make someone's personality change and can dilute their sense of self. They start to feel disconnected from the world around them and somewhat lost, unable to recognize once familiar things.
When this happens, you not only lose people in the physical sense, but your precious memories disappear, and there is nothing about them to hold on to. Sentimental thoughts and remembrances you once cherished vanish, and things that were once priceless to you seem insignificant, leading to extreme feelings of emptiness.
5. Regret
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Hindsight is always 20/20. When we get up in age, we tend to reflect on our lives, noting missed opportunities and unresolved issues that may be out of our reach now. The inability to right our wrongs can leave us feeling regretful as we get older.
Even people who lived life to the fullest might look back and hypothesize about what would have happened, had they made different choices in life. They start to see the value in things they overlooked and wish they could do it all over again. The reality that you only get one chance can create an overwhelming feeling of emptiness and regret.
6. Changes in family dynamics
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Many of us don't realize what a blessing it is to have kids who rely on you, peers who want to hang out for happy hours, or a nagging spouse. At times, those things can feel like work instead of pleasure.
But you never know what you had until it's gone. Kids grow up, friends pass away, and spouses either leave or die, making life a little less bright.
7. Feeling their mortality
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In our youth, life can seem very long, and like it might go on forever. But the older you get, the more you realize that the clock is ticking. Our time on earth is limited, and we must make the most of it. With age, the days seem to go by faster and faster, moving you closer to a time that you will no longer exist, and that can be scary.
When death feels like it's lurking just around the corner, you start to reflect on your life and how you have lived it. If you never accomplished the things you set out to do, you might feel like it's too late. If people you loved have passed before you had the chance to make amends, you could live in emptiness.
8. Loss of autonomy
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As autonomous adults, we have complete control over what we do, where we go, and how we live our lives. Aging might mean that you have to go into an assisted living facility or nursing home, or have your driving rights taken away due to declining health or cognition.
This can leave you feeling out of control of your own actions and like a prisoner. The freedom of moving around as you see fit has been taken away, and in its place sits an emptiness and a longing to be the autonomous person you once were.
9. Being ignored
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When health issues, cognitive decline, and other aspects of aging come into play, it's easy for younger people to move on with their own lives, ignoring their elderly loved ones, and unaware of the loneliness and emptiness they left behind. The aging family member might be a shell of their former self, and people they once cared for simply drift away.
This might be due to their own actions and perceived slights toward others, or due to a lack of interest or time on the younger generation's part. Often, elderly adults find themselves abandoned for more interesting things as they enter the final phases of life.
10. Exclusion
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As your physical activity and abilities decline, people start to exclude you from certain things, believing that you are no longer capable of participating. You might gradually find yourself phased out of family game nights, hiking trips, barbecues, and other social events that you once loved.
Though there may be no ill will from others, being excluded can leave you with a daunting emptiness inside. It hurts to think that you no longer matter and are not an integral part of the family or friend group anymore.
11. Feeling like a burden
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Another feeling that can cause us to isolate as we go into old age is the idea that we might be putting an undue burden on our loved ones. Medical problems or conditions, and slower movement could lead to feeling as if we are no longer a joy to be around, but a ball and chain being drug along.
Instead of taking people up on offers to connect, we start to opt out, thinking they are better off without us. Then after repeated turn downs, people stop extending invitations, further exascerbating the feeling of emptiness that show up in people as they get older.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that delivers informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
