11 Phrases That Make People Seem Ridiculously Privileged & Out Of Touch
Vitor Aranda | Pexels We all know at least one person who leads a privileged life. They seem out of touch with reality and constantly contradict themselves. It can be hard for the average person to be around them and tolerate this kind of behavior, especially since they think there’s nothing wrong with how they act.
According to scholar and anti-racism activist Peggy McIntosh, “Access to privilege doesn’t determine one’s outcomes, but it is an asset that makes it more likely that whatever talent, ability, and aspirations a person with privilege has will result in something positive for them.” Unfortunately, privileged people don’t think of themselves that way, and will say bizarre things as a result.
People who use these phrases seem extremely privileged and out of touch
1. ‘I worked hard to get to where I am’
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A privileged person will often stand by the misconception that they went through a lot of hard work to get where they are, so nobody else should be handed anything. Glossing over all of the things that made it easier for them to get to where they are can feel downright rude when you’re in the trenches.
It can be difficult for privileged people to accept the truth of their situation because it goes against some very important ideals, like succeeding because of hard work and talent. The privileged are uncomfortable acknowledging that they had certain advantages in life because it means admitting they didn’t have to work as hard as some other people did.
Privileged people can be hard workers, but the very definition of privilege suggests that there was something there that set them apart in the first place. Implying that they reached the pinnacle of success on their own merits alone is false and does nothing but lead to hurt feelings.
2. ‘Money can’t buy happiness'
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If only this adage were true. Typically, people who have a lot of money tell you money can’t buy happiness. They have so much money that they don’t realize it's quite literally buying happiness. Instead, they assume their world is typical and everyone is experiencing the same things.
Licensed professional counselor Sarah Whitmire said the idea that money cannot but happiness isn’t completely true, as much as we might want it to be. “Money can bring about happiness or a sense of satisfaction that can feel like happiness because it allows security and reduces constant financial anxiety and fear,” she explained.
While money is not responsible for the relationships and other little things in life that bring you joy, the level of stability it brings can make you happier than someone living with a lot of stress due to money troubles. Privileged people who are used to living without financial struggles just don’t understand this.
3. ‘My parents can help’
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If someone’s first instinct is to get their parents involved in a situation that’s turned sticky for them, especially if it involves money, there’s a good chance they’re very out of touch. They’re used to getting what they want and letting someone else do all the hard work to get them there.
Licensed psychotherapist Annie Wright shared that being able to rely on your parents at all is its own kind of privilege in and of itself. She described it as “a reminder and a rekindling of grief and frustration that we don’t necessarily have the privilege of functional, healthy, devoted and resourced parents and guardians to turn to when life gets hard, confusing or complex.”
Privileged people have relied on their parents their whole lives and know they are the key to getting out of any tough spots. They don’t have to do any heavy lifting when they can count on their parents to do it for them. While it’s a good thing to have reliable parents, knowing you can turn to them to fix any mess you’ve made is a bit over the top.
4. ‘Just try harder’
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Privileged people don’t understand that you can’t always work your way out of a bad situation. As they’ve mostly had everything handed to them their whole lives, they assume all it takes to succeed is a little bit more hard work, a little more trying on your part. But being a hard worker doesn’t fix every problem.
Being privileged doesn’t mean you don’t work hard. It just means you have it easier. They aren't immune to the hardships we all face, but there's no denying they have an advantage due to their identity.
If someone says "just try harder," they likely don’t understand the gravity of whatever it is you’re going through because of their privilege. They think everyone’s life should be as simple as their own, and that the world moves just as smoothly for everyone, regardless of who they are.
5. ‘You shouldn’t use money as an excuse to not do something'
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A privileged person won’t understand why you would choose not to do something because of money, whether it's planning a vacation or treating yourself to a shopping day. After all, money is no object to them, so why should it be for you? They think money is no reason not to do something because they don’t know what it’s like not to have any.
This could be the difference between having a scarcity mindset and one of abundance when it comes to money. But while many people often think the money mindset you have is something you can change and develop on your own, it can be deeply rooted in you because of how you grew up or the state your finances are in now.
According to financial advisor Julia M. Carson, “When you take from abundance, it doesn’t go away. This is the opposite of a scarcity mindset, which is a zero-sum game, meaning that there is only so much wealth to go around.” Most people live with a scarcity mindset because that’s all they’ve ever known. It doesn’t mean they’re doing something wrong. It’s just the way life is for them.
6. ‘Try going on vacation to clear your head’
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A privileged person expects everyone around them to have equally privileged reactions to problems. If you’re dealing with a lot, the only logical response is to take some time away from the world and escape on vacation. This may be the case for privileged people, but the average person doesn’t have the time or money to spend on a getaway every time things don’t go their way.
There are a lot of benefits to taking a vacation. For example, it reduces stress and increases productivity. It can also help you sleep better and even lead to a lower risk of heart attacks. All of these things sound like pretty great reasons why you should take a vacation.
But for most, this isn’t feasible. They don’t have enough money. They can’t take the time off from work. The planning is so much work that it doesn’t feel worth it. This may be a go-to for the privileged few, but not everyone can drop what they're doing and leave town.
7. ‘If you don’t want to work, just take the day off’
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If someone is financially privileged, there’s a good chance they have a position high on the corporate ladder, which grants them major flexibility. If they don’t want to show up for work, they won’t, and there will be no repercussions. Most workers can’t do this. A day off from work is a big deal, and there are only so many they can take.
Having the option to take the occasional day off from work when it just feels like it’s all too much would be extremely beneficial. But most people don’t have that opportunity. They work because they have to, and not to supplement existing wealth.
8. ‘That’s never happened to me’
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While it’s true that a privileged person can go through hard times, they will likely be different from what the average person experiences. So, it would be likely for someone so out of touch with reality to say that something doesn’t resonate for them the same way it does for the average person.
“A lot of well-off people are so busy spending their money that they don’t think too deeply about other people’s situations. And if that money has genuinely been earned, it’s hard for them to observe the factors that might have helped them along,” journalist Beth Ashley noted.
Sometimes the privileged are simply blind to the problems of others, or can’t understand them because of their own experiences. While the person probably doesn’t mean it that harshly, it still sounds incredibly out of touch and can feel hurtful.
9. ‘Why try to fix it when you could just replace it?’
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Someone out of touch might suggest replacing something that’s easily fixable. Why have the repairman out for a fridge or dryer when you could get a new one? For someone financially privileged, getting the new thing feels obvious, but for most people, fixing something until it absolutely won’t work anymore is much more practical.
If you can save money by fixing something instead of replacing it, it makes perfect sense to do so. Privileged people don’t always see it that way, though. They’re used to having the newest and best versions of everything, so they assume everyone else should too.
10. ‘It doesn’t matter how much it costs’
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These people will often say it doesn’t really matter how much something costs. Instead, they think that if it makes you happy or makes your life better in some way, you should buy it, regardless of price. Because if it does that, "how can the cost matter?" they would argue.
Financial coach Whitney Hansen described how problematic this type of thinking can be. She said the attitude of treating oneself can be twisted into something toxic, even by the most well-meaning people. Some people simply don’t have the funds to do that, so they need to save up.
How much something costs may not matter to a few people, but the majority of people have to think carefully about how to budget their money. That’s OK and not something to be ashamed of.
11. ‘I’m not privileged’
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If a privileged person doesn’t understand they are privileged, it’s possible they would argue they weren’t. Instead, they think they’re just like you, with all of the same opportunities and options. This is not the case, but someone seriously out of touch or just plain wrong might think it is.
For many people, they are simply too privileged to realize they are privileged in the first place. As psychology professor Michael Karson revealed, “Everybody wants to go about his or her business, strive for excellence, enjoy their friendships, and not have to think about this stuff. But when your stigmatized environments are ubiquitous and costly, it’s hard to escape... the constant need to attend to what is going on around you.”
Karson noted this is particularly prevalent for white men. Sometimes, they don't see or understand their privilege. Whether you think this is intentional in some way or makes them a bad person is up for your own personal, nuanced interpretation of the person and the situation.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
