People Who Are Mentally & Emotionally Negligent Often Say 9 Things During Sensitive Conversations

We've all felt emotionally fragile before, it's natural and it's not a bad thing. In fact, some degree of emotional fragility is good, as it can help us feel empathy and compassion toward others.

Some people don't appreciate the sensitivity of others who aren't feeling as strong. They can be considered emotionally negligent if they know they're being hurtful, but still continue. Being aware of others' feelings is part of being a good person, and if someone refuses, they should probably be avoided.

Mentally and emotionally negligent people often say these 9 things during sensitive conversations:

1. 'You're wrong'

woman being told you're wrong PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock

A study from PLOS One suggests that many emotionally fragile people have experienced a lot of mistreatment in their lives, and thus are more sensitive to criticism and negative feedback than others.

When someone talking to a more sensitive, it's important to choose the right words and focus on a mutual collaboration towards a goal, rather than judgment or a simple phrase like "you're wrong" with no context.

But these emotionally negligent people won't change their tone or adjust language to be respectful. No matter who it is they're with, they'll disagree plainly and act like they know everything.

2. 'Let me give you some feedback'

older woman giving younger woman feedback Ground Picture | Shutterstock

In addition to telling someone they're flat-out wrong, emotionally engligent people will often just decide to give someone a critique without considering how the other person feels. They don't ask first and they don't couch their language to help soften the blow for sensitive or fragile folks.

"Your hair looked better the other way" or "I think you're getting a little too fat" are the type of non-helpful unsolicited criticism negligent people will level at almost everyone. Sadly, they're even worse with the people they claim to love!

3. 'You're being so dramatic'

woman being told she's being so dramatic Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock

Experts like clinical psychologist Hal Shorey explain that dismissive phrases from parents of adult children, like "you're so sensitive" or "you're dramatic", can be incredibly offensive and hurtful to them. They can also undermine the relationship.

This is true for all sorts of relationships, too. Even passing casual phrases like this or a briefly offensive interaction can spark emotional responses in people experiencing a more fragile or sensitive phase of life.

Here's the thing: you don't have to be sensitive or fragile to be hurt by someone telling you that you're too sensitive or dramatic. People need to feel heard, seen and validated by those they love, and "you're being so dramatic!" does the opposite of all of these.

Yes, there will be times when loved ones are being overly sensitive or dramatic, but dismissing their feelings is not the answer. To address it responsibly, a calm, respectful and loving conversation needs to occur when both people can pay attention and truly listen. And the one leveling the critique needs to be willing to admit that they don't to decide how deeply any other person feels.

4. 'It's not that serious'

man telling teenage boy his problems aren't serious pixelheadphoto digitalskillet | Shutterstock

When someone who is irresponsible with their language uses a phrase like "it's not a big deal" in attempt to dismiss (or even soothe) someone else's feelings, it's really no different than calling them dramatic. It's dismissive and insulting and in some cases can feel like gaslighting.

While emotional invalidation from phrases like this one can be unintentional, according to therapist Jennifer Litner, PhD, it can still exacerbate the mental health struggles, feelings of loneliness and isolation, and disconnect emotionally fragile people already experienced in their lives. For everyone else, dismissal like this is unkind and sometimes even cruel.

5. 'Just push through it'

woman being told to just push through it SynthEx | Shutterstock

While phrases like "just push through" or "it'll be worth it" are often intended to be supportive and motivational, they can feed into a cycle of "toxic positivity" that's dismissive and invalidating for emotionally fragile people who rely on rest and frequent breaks to regulate their emotions and cope with anxiety over stressful social interactions.

In any case, open and honest communication can help to mend relationships and connections between a "normal thinker" and their emotionally sensitive counterpart, ensuring everyone feels heard and supportive in the way that makes the most sense for them.

But a mentally and emotionally negligent person doesn't care enough about the differences in how they handle problems and their loved ones do. Someone else might not succeed by just pushing through something, toughening up or looking on the bright side. It's simply not emotionally intelligent to expect them to.

6. 'You shouldn't let other people get you down'

woman telling woman she shouldn't let someone else get her down Prostock-studio | Shutterstock

Many emotionally fragile and hyper-sensitive people tend to be overly empathetic towards others, sometimes at the expense of their own emotions and feelings. It's not that they want to be this way, it's just naturally who they are. With that in mind it's not surprising that this is one of the phrases that hits home for them.

While they may be cognizant of the way that their overly empathetic and people-pleasing behaviors sabotage their own sense of security and safety, having someone pointing it out can be invalidating. Worse, a phrase like "you shouldn't let that person bother you" is a criticism, not advice, as it doesn't actually tell the sensitive person how to just make their sadness or hurt (or anything else they experience as a result) magically disappear.

7. 'There's no other choice'

man being told there's no other choice fizkes | Shutterstock

Overstimulating social situations, where fragile or sensitive people are dealing with a lot of sensory input, can make it difficult to focus or even process their feelings. Emotionally negligent people see this as weakness and make it seem like there's no other choice than to just power through and make it work.

In fact, according to Charlie Health, "Some research shows that people with certain sensory processing issues (including overstimulation) have quantifiable differences in their brain structure, which may contribute to their difficulties." This can include early childhood trauma or acute stress disorder. It can also just be a unique part of who this individual is.

People who are emotionally responsible respect how others process highly stimulating situations or even stressful life events. Some people need more time or more space, and that's OK. After all, there usually are other choices that can be made.

8. 'This isn't about you'

man telling woman this isn't about you simona pilolla 2 | Shutterstock

Many emotionally fragile people expect other people to be as sensitive, aware, and appreciative of their emotions and responses as they are toward others. Part of their emotional regulation and honesty means expressing when they feel offended or invalidated by others, but a response with a phrase like this is only further isolating.

It can be disillusioning to have people constantly telling you that you're overreacting or "making something about you" by simply responding in the way that works best for you. Not only does it encourage low self-esteem and self-doubt in unsuspecting moments, it encourages people to suppress their own emotions.

Now, there are times when someone really is making a situation about themselves. When someone is being jurt by this, it can be important for a caring, responsible person to tell them to stop centering themselves in a kind way. Often, the best way is to show them how their personalizing someone else's situation harms another. After all, most sensitive people don't want to do harm to anyone.

9. 'You make things more difficult than they need to be'

man being told he makes things more difficult than they need to be Alex_Maryna | Shutterstock

Suggesting that a sensitive person (who likely copes with stress by expressing themselves and surges into vulnerability with others without reservation) is overreacting or making things difficult by simply being themselves is invalidating and offensive in a big way. In essence, it says, "you don't know what's best for you."

While there's certainly situations or conversations where being overly emotional isn't the best way to communicate or solve a problem, attacking a person for simply being emotional can be an overly isolating experience to cope with. Sadly, that's something emotionally negligent people seem to feel perfectly fine about.

According to trial attorney Jefferson Fisher, there are better ways to handle an emotionally immature person who may be a little too in their feelings, none of which involve attacking them. Fisher revealed that the first step to take is not trying to regulate another person's emotions, followed by not wasting your energy trying to get them to self-reflect, and finally, empathizing but not enabling them..

People Who Are Mentally & Emotionally Negligent Usually Say 9 Things During Sensitive Conversations