People Judge Me Just Because I'm Really Pretty

Photo: Nina Buday / Shutterstock
pretty woman

"Maybe you should just leave the handyman work to your husband," the hardware store employee told me when I asked him what aisle the adhesives were in.

I stood speechless and fuming that he would be so gender-discriminatory toward me when another woman walked up to us.

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She asked the store employee where she could find a ratchet set and as I braced myself for another sexist comment, the same employee answered, "They're in aisle 12."

He then turned back to me and told me pretty girls should leave the "technical" work to people who know how to handle it. Not men, but "people." Um, did he just insinuate that I'm stupid?

To a man who knew absolutely nothing about me, I was no more than a pretty face.

I forced myself to walk away as anger boiled up inside of me and called a friend outside, ranting into the phone about the jackass in the store.

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" is a phrase used in jest during sarcastic conversations, usually when we're making fun of beautiful women who claim their good looks are a hardship. But the reality is that although being pretty does make some things easier, it also definitely makes some things harder.

I'm tired of being judged because of my attractive face. I'm tired of being whittled down to nothing more than my looks because people naively think I have nothing more to offer. And I'm tired of people believing that just because I'm pretty, I don't have a right to get upset when I'm treated as nothing more than that.

I'm tired of men assuming I must be easy. (No, I didn't wake up and put on this face just so I could find someone to have sex with.)

I'm tired of women thinking I'm going to try and sleep with their husbands just because they're insecure about the way I look. (I don't want your husband  this is just how I look.)

I'm tired of co-workers not taking me seriously and treating me like I'm nothing more than cheekbones and blue eyes. (Newsflash: I didn't get this job because I attached a photo to my resume.)

I'm tired of the snide comments women whisper in my presence and think I can't hear them. (I'm pretty, not deaf.)

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I'm tired of people assuming that just because I'm pretty, I'm also brainless, stuck-up, and most likely a slut, because that's the stereotype our society perpetuates.

When you add in the fact that I'm a single mom, I'm pretty much doomed to be perceived as nothing more than a knocked-up baby mama (who was actually married for eight years in which two kids were conceived) looking for a sugar daddy. Because isn't that what all the pretty, single mothers are doing these days?

Gag me. I'm sick of it.

Laughable as it may be, "pretty girl problems" are a real thing.

Sure, most people would agree that good-looking people have some advantages over less attractive people, but it's not a black and white issue.

Being pretty is a blessing and a curse, just like fame and money. There are trade-offs.

I'm so much more than pretty. I'm a domestic violence survivor, hard-working mother of two special needs children, founder of a nonprofit, former missionary, and woman's rights activist.

But because I'm pretty, all of that often doesn't matter to people  because I'm pretty. Probably just pretty.

So do I have a right to complain about the burdens of being pretty? Hell yeah, I do. But remember: I'm not complaining about my face. I'm happy with it, I'm grateful for it. 

What I am complaining about are the opinions of narrow-minded, jealous, insecure, and shallow people who judge me entirely on my physicality.

Don't hate me just because I'm beautiful.

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Eden Strong is a regular contributor to many different sites such as Lifetime Moms, XOJane, Scary Mommy, Catster, and Dogster. Follow her on her website.