People With Big Hearts But Zero Willpower Usually Say 9 Phrases On A Regular Basis
GaudiLab | Shutterstock In a world that seems to reward people who lack empathy, having a big heart is a superpower that stands out. These folks have an uncanny ability to always choose to see the good in others, whenever possible.
Unlike others, kind-hearted people rarely allow themselves a selfish moment. Yet, while their compassion shines bright, their inability to stand up for themselves can become a problem. When that happens, they're quick to say phrases like these.
Phrases people with big hearts but zero willpower say regularly
1. 'I feel to bad to say no'
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Highly considerate of others' feelings, people with big hearts feel terrible when they have to tell them no. Blame it on their people-pleasing tendencies, but kind people can't stand rejecting others.
They know the crushing feeling of being let down, which is why they'd never purposely do it to someone else. But while their bleeding-heart sounds sweet on the surface, saying, "I feel bad for saying no," is a red flag. As Standard University explains, "Boundaries help determine what is and is not okay in a relationship."
So, if someone can't say something as simple as, 'no,' they should watch out. It's easy to be taken advantage of if you don't have a backbone.
2. 'I don't want to make things awkward'
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Those with big hearts too often tiptoe around others even when totally unnecessary. It isn't out of mere consideration, though. With zero backbone in sight, big-hearted people are overly cautious because they, say they don't want to make things awkward.
Deep inside, they're terrified of making others feel uncomfortable. Even if that means they have to sacrifice their own well-being.
It doesn't matter how small the discomfort may be, if it causes someone to spiral, they'd rather stay silent than risk making things awkward. This is why they shuffle to the side or laugh nervously. It isn't social awkwardness; it's them being overly cautious.
3. 'I don't want to hurt them, so I'll just go along'
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In a world full of cruelty, being that shining figure is a sign of good character. But while kindness goes a long way, there is such a thing as being too kind. Especially in relationships, people who say, "I don't want to hurt them, so I'll just go along with their plan" have zero willpower.
This workds for a short time, but you can't avoid hurting people forever. In some way, somehow, you'll the villain in other people's stories.
This is why it's important to be true to your authentic self. Not only does it lead to less drama, but authenticity will only make you happier in the end.
4. 'I'll just do it myself'
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There's a downside to having a wide-open heart. It doesn't just make them pushovers, it can also attract manipulative people.
They care too much about pleasing others and avoiding social or emotional discomfort, and because of this, they take on more responsibility than they should have. At work and at home, they're quick to say, "It's okay, I'll just do it," without thinking twice.
Unfortunately for them, this type of mentality can lead to complete burnout. This is why it's important to let others carry the load. It's scary, but speaking up for yourself doesn't have to be a bad thing. In many ways, those who are most honest tend to have the best relationships out there.
5. 'I hate confrontation'
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Kind people don't like drama. Because they're so sweet, they hate the idea of hurting others even if it's justified or necessary for setting a healthy boundary.
They'd rather stay silent than be involved in a confrontation. Once others start yelling, kind-hearted people shrink into themselves.
Apologizing profusely, they'll often take full responsibility for something that wasn't their fault. It isn't healthy, but people with big hearts aren't changing their ways. And this shouldn't be a surprise, as a go-to phrase they say is, "I hate confrontation."
6. 'It's not a big deal'
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While they're quick to consider others, big-hearted people rarely think about themselves. It can be tragic sometimes, but they struggle to stand their ground. Even if their feelings are valid, kind-hearted people never want to stir the pot and this is why they're quick to push aside their feelings and say, "It's not a big deal," instead.
It generally doesn't matter what the other person did to them, even if they uttered the most disrespectful phrase known to man, these kinds of people won't say a word. Instead, they say they'll forgive and let bygones be bygones.
Sadly, they often can't actually forgive, and that's why it hurts in the end. Resentment too often grows inside of them, which feels so unfair in the end.
7. 'It's fine, I'm used to it'
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Kind-hearted people are used to being tossed aside. It sounds awful, but their compassion makes them an easy target. Unlike people with healthy boundaries, kind-hearted people never say a word when someone crosses a line. Instead, all they can say is, "It's fine, I'm used to it."
Until they find the self-esteem to stand up for themselves, their lack of willpower won't allow them to do better. Believing what others think about them, they can't see how amazing they truly are. Blinded by their low self-confidence, escaping from these toxic situations is a losing game.
When it comes to matters of the heart, kind-hearted people could use a little internal reinforcement to stand up for themselves. They deserve it!
8. 'I'd rather keep the peace'
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If there's one thing people with big hearts are great at, it's putting everyone's comfort ahead of their own. It doesn't matter how tense or dire a situation is, kind-hearted people take on all the responsibility, which is why they say, "I'd rather keep the peace," instead. Unlike everyone else, kind-hearted people look for the easiest solution.
Even if it means apologizing for something they didn't do, they'd do it if it means letting bygones be bygones. Is it healthy? No. But are they going to stop? Nope. Once a habit is developed, it can take months for people to undo their toxic behaviors. Still, it can be done.
9. 'I don't want to be selfish'
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People with big hearts prioritize being graceful and compassionate. They are always giving of themselves to people around them, often to a fault.
While their compassion makes them shine bright, there's a downside as well. Because of their struggles with boundaries and willpower, it's all too common to hear them say, "I don't want to be selfish" even when they're not being selfish at all.
They don't know how to balance their needs with everyone's demands. They want to do what's right for them, but they just can't.
Terrified of disappointing others, most kind people choose to stay silent. But as wellness scholar Robyne Hanley-Dafoe Ed.D. writes, "Self-centering doesn’t mean being absorbed in yourself. It means honouring your needs, your feelings, and your worth so you can show up in the best way for yourself and for others."
So, even if it's hard, they should bet on themselves. Selfishness isn't as terrifying as people make it seem. Then they could be big-hearted and sustainably healthy and strong, too.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
