People Who Always Need To Be In The Spotlight Use 7 Super Extra Phrases On A Regular Basis
Daniel_Dash / Shutterstock We all want someone to notice the small changes we make or the little things we accomplish that most people won't see as a big deal. Those tiny moments make us feel seen and appreciated, which are two of the greatest feelings on Earth.
But when someone feels a deep need to always be the one in the spotlight, it can wreak havoc on their relationships of all kinds. Using super extra phrases to pull focus away from others and back onto themselves can be incredibly alienating and disruptive, especially when it happens pretty much all of the time.
If someone always needs to be constantly in the spotlight, they'll use these super extra phrases pretty much every day
1. "Have I told you about this?"
Attention seekers tend to overshare. They often tell stories that reveal intimate details of their life, even if the person they're talking to really doesn't want to hear them. They'll even try to convince you that you were the one who tried to tease the story out of them by asking if you've heard about something exciting happening in their lives. People's brains are naturally excited by emotional stories, and those who are desperate to be listened to intuitively know that.
Sharing their story isn't necessarily the issue. There's only a problem if they're bringing it up to shift attention away from someone else, or the person they're talking to genuinely doesn't have any time or interest. By telling their story, they're trying to make sure everyone's eyes and ears are on them.
2. "I have some gossip to share..."
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Admit it. When you know someone has gossip to share, you want to hear it. That’s not a bad thing. Everyone likes to feel informed about what’s happening around them.
Maybe a mutual friend just broke up with their boyfriend or started dating someone you work with. If someone needs to be in the spotlight, they know that spilling that kind of drama will get the most attention if they're the first person to broadcast it. Not only does this gain them attention in the moment, but it also earns the reputation of being well informed, which ensures more people will pay more attention to them in the future to see if they can learn anything new.
3. “Wait, this is really funny!”
There are multiple reasons that people who seek the spotlight use the phrase “Wait, this is really funny.” First off, they're telling people to wait, which stops a conversation and redirects it from whatever else people were talking about. It also usually makes people pay attention to them to hear whatever someone thought was important enough to stop the conversation for.
This is especially true when they pair it with saying they have something really funny to share. Most people love to laugh, and a funny story can be hard to resist. Funny stories make people feel connected. When everyone is laughing together, it can make us feel like we're connected by being in on the joke. Attention seekers use that feeling to get people to pay more attention to them more closely and more often.
4. “You have to come with me!”
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Someone who loves to be the center of attention is usually big on inviting people to places or hosting parties. People love to celebrate hosts because they gave them the chance to connect socially and have fun.
Another way they can try to get attention is by inviting people to events that highlight them. If they’re in a play, they might invite all their friends to go. Their friends watching them can make them feel admired and praised. By inviting people to these kinds of moments, a person can get attention from being watched and appreciated by all their friends.
5. “This is my favorite thing ever!”
Whether it’s a song or a movie, if someone wants to grab the spotlight, they can frequently be heard talking about how much they love something. It might even seem like everything is their favorite. When they're saying that something is their favorite thing ever, they're really just making that thing about them.
Our favorite things are usually special to us, and people often appreciate it when their friends notice what's special to them. Friends who want to be thought of as special might try to find connection in sharing the same love for various favorite things.
Attention seekers often overuse the term favorite thing ever to keep pulling focus back to themselves. It makes whatever’s happening their thing instead of something the whole group enjoys.
6. "I'm so mad at them!"
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We all get mad at our friends now and then, but not everyone feels the need to broadcast it to everyone else. Someone who is always talking about the people they’re mad at is probably an attention seeker.
A person who wants to be in the spotlight might get upset when someone hasn't been paying enough attention to them, so they complain to everyone else about it. Still, our friends don’t always have the time to focus on us. They might be too busy handling something that is actually important. Some people can accept this and give their friends the space to handle their issues, but attention seekers tend to struggle with this. Instead, they might pick lots of fights with friends who didn’t really do anything wrong, and then tell other people about it so their anger feels more justified.
7. “I’m basically the best at this.”
A need for the spotlight isn’t always an indication that someone actually thinks they’re the best. People who love the spotlight are often really insecure and use attention to prove to themselves they are worthy and loved.
While attention is a form of validation, it might not be enough for them. They usually want people to think they’re an incredible friend or accomplished professional, so they tell anyone who will listen that they’re the best at something to try to make others think they are great too.
When someone is accomplished, it makes others respect them. We might even pay extra attention to them to learn how they did so well. Attention seekers want that attention and respect so they can avoid feeling overwhelmed by their insecurities.
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and Publications who covers relationships, mental health, and personal narratives surrounding the human experience.
