There’s Nothing Sexier Than A Woman With Actual Fat On Her Body

Photo: puhhha / Shutterstock
curvey women

Here’s something that pisses me off… 

Media telling women that they’re fat, or otherwise intentionally manufacturing body insecurity in their minds. The media is trying to convince women that their natural, and healthy, bodies are a sin, and wrong. I'm sp tired of all the women around me, who are my friends and family, hating their bodies. 

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Everywhere you go, magazines tell you how to get a flatter tummy… or to get rid of wrinkles, or cellulite, or any signs of being a non-photoshopped piece of plastic.

First of all, can we all stop calling things about your body 'flaws' and 'imperfections'? It's just a body and it's normal, and everything that comes with it.

Flaws don’t exist.

It isn’t about “loving your flaws”… it’s about saying “F*ck ‘flaws’… I’m a human being, and I’m gorgeous.”

Just as a tree in nature isn’t wrong or imperfect for not looking like a ‘perfect’ imaginary tree, you are not imperfect for not looking like an invented ideal of beauty that doesn’t exist.

All those women on social media don't look like that in real life, they heavily edit their photos, along with good poses and lighting. You're perfect because nothing about you needs to change, it's all-natural. And nothing is sexier than being authentic.

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Second, in case there aren’t enough people saying this in your social media feed today, there’s nothing I find sexier than a woman with actual fat on her body. 

Tummy flab, thick butt, chubby cheeks, visible cellulite on her thighs = yes, please.

I’m not being facetious. I’m dead fucking serious. Ask any of my former partners or anyone who has known me for longer than a month offline. I've had no complaints, and why would I?

I get turned on by the humanness of my partners. Nobody is perfect, and every single person is unique. 

Cellulite, stretch marks, and wrinkles mean that you have lived and that you have a depth of experience that has seeped into your bones. I find that endlessly sexy. Who wouldn't?

Your sexiness isn't defined by the tautness of your skin... it is defined by the depth of your heart.

Men and women alike ... yes, eat well. Yes, exercise because of how it makes you feel powerful and grounded and amazing.

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But fuck the number on the scale. No number gets to determine your worth.

There are millions of ways to be sexually attractive, and having fat on your body is included in the list.

Whatever you’ve got, someone wants. So please, stop hating, and start accepting your unique brand of sexy.

Sex and relationship coach Jordan Gray helps people remove their emotional blocks and maintain thriving intimate relationships. You can see more of his writing at