Self

To My Ex-Best Friend, I Think I Can Finally Forgive You

Photo: stockfour / shutterstock
woman deep in thought looking out a window

By Emma Spear

Dear ex-best friend,

When our friendship ended, I felt hurt and alone.

It was an indescribable pain. All I could do was stare at my phone and wonder how you could walk out of my world. The pain was indescribable.

The situation that broke us up constantly replays in my head. I remember the hurtful words that we said and how we couldn’t admit our own faults.

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But why couldn’t we both just admit that we were wrong?

We didn’t care about each other’s feelings then, but now I am sick of viewing you negatively.

Despite the hurt that you caused me, you were still my best friend.

Although our friendship didn’t end on the best terms, we always supported each other in our darkest moments. So it is dumb for us to dislike each other now.

Don’t get me wrong: You made me mad, and you really hurt me.

But I honestly don’t think that you realized how much you hurt me. If you did, I would like to think that you would have apologized to me.

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I will be honest: I tried to hate you. At first, I thought that I did. But we both know that I am incapable of hating anyone.

I give others endless chances and try to understand them. But when we ended our friendship, I had to learn when to stop giving out chance after chance.

The past year-and-a-half without you has been pretty lonely, but it taught me so much.

In order for the two of us to grow, our friendship needed to end. In a way, we held each other back, and eventually, we turned toxic for each other.

While I sometimes miss our friendship, I think that it needs to remain in the past.

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I needed our friendship to end in order for me to reach this point in my life. And while our “friend breakup” stung at first, I now truly appreciate how it helped me grow.

But I also want you to know that I forgive you. The end of our friendship still stings a bit, but I no longer feel angry at you.

Please know that my door is always open. Just because our friendship ended doesn’t mean that I don’t still care about you.

I am always rooting for you, and truly wish you the best, even if you don’t notice.

Our friendship may have ended, but I will always be a friend to you. Take care of yourself, and please remember that I am always here.

Love,

Your ex-best friend

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Emma Spear is a student, paraeducator, writer, and contributor to Unwritten. She has a passion for writing about mental health, self-care, and education.

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This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.