The One Mental Trick That Helps You Make Smarter Life Choices, According To Psychology
Tune in to trusting yourself.
Helgy | Canva As an intuitive psychiatrist, I worship my high-octane intuitions: I owe the blessing of becoming a physician to one. However, at twenty, when an unwavering inner voice told me I was going to medical school, it was the last thing I thought I wanted.
This gut-centered voice committed to your happiness, health, and survival is, with practice, accessible to everyone. But when you deviate even a nano-fraction from your inner voice, energy wanes, whether a subtle seepage or radical bottoming out.
According to psychology, the one trick to help you make smarter life choices is listening to your faithful, inner voice.
Intuition offers a direct line to your life force, and, as I experience it, to divine intelligence. We can’t afford to remain unaware of intuition’s messages. Its expertise is energy; its job is to know every nuance of what makes you tick.
A master at reading vibes, intuition is constantly tallying: what gives positive energy, and what dissipates it, as supported by a 2010 series of studies that investigated the relationship between positive affect, intuition, and feelings of meaning.. Who you meet, where you go, your job, your family, and current events are all evaluated — crucial data you can use to learn how to make smart decisions in life.
Here’s a formula from my book, Positive Energy, to help you get started.
- Listen to your body: there are positive and negative intuitions about relationships that highlight compatible matches.
- Act on this information, which is often the hardest part. Let me walk you through the process.
Recognize how deep your intuition goes
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A people skill most of our parents didn’t know or teach us is intuitively reading vibes. We’ve learned to conclude from surface data: how nice someone seems, looks, education, or if a situation adds up on paper.
Intuition goes deeper, and to make it work for you, other ingredients must be considered, such as how positive vibes like compassion and nurturance feel. In contrast, negative people project prickly, draining vibes that put you on guard.
A 2005 exploratory study of gut feelings, intuition, and emotion helped show how being intuitive shows the signature energy that always accompanies situations or people. Think of the cartoon character who always has a rain cloud hanging over their head, not a vibe that bodes well for auspicious outcomes.
Instead, learn how to make smart decisions in life by gravitating towards brightness, a positive intuition that your body’s responses will affirm. When tuning into vibes, take a few quiet moments to go into sensing mode, not intellectual analysis.
Here is a general guideline of body-based intuitions. Use this checklist at a first meeting, to troubleshoot problems if you're already involved, or to weigh “opportunities.” Also, feel free to add to it.
Positive intuition about relationships or situations
- A feeling of comforting familiarity or brightness; you may sense you've known the person before, as with the experience of deja vu
- You breathe easier, chest and shoulders are relaxed, the gut is calm
- You find yourself leaning forward, not defensively crossing your arms or edging away to keep a distance
- Your heart opens; you feel safe, peaceful, energized, expansive, or alive
- You’re at ease with a person’s touch, whether a handshake, hug, or during intimacy
Negative intuitions about relationships or situations
- A sick feeling in the pit of your stomach or increased stomach acid, which may prompt an unpalatable déjà vu
- Your skin starts crawling, you're jumpy, and instinctively withdraw if touched
- Shoulder muscles are in knots, chest area or throat constricts; you notice aggravated aches or pains
- The hair on the back of your neck creepily stands on end
- A sense of malaise, darkness, pressure, agitation, or being drained
Intuition helps you act from instinct, not impulse — a look before you leap, wisdom that points you to positive energy. A 2016 study of the relationship between intuitive decision making and happiness showed that "intuitive thinking has a strong positive correlation with happiness; that intuitive thinkers are more likely to utilize an intuitive decisional style."
When it comes to who you love, where your work, or any important decision, the last thing you want to be is vague. Tuning in keeps you specific. Practice the next exercise to get this down.
How to pin down and act on your intuition and inner voice
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You’re going to tune in, trust your body, and make choices based on the vibes you sense.
1. Tune in
Choose a relationship or situation that needs clarification about whether or not to go forward. Perhaps a friendship, vacation, or move. Begin with an easier target before you take on higher stakes. Run it by this section’s criteria for positive and negative intuitions or others you find reliable.
2. Trust your body
It’s helpful to make a top-five list of the most killer indicators of positive attraction. For one of my patients, it includes feeling energized and safe. Another must register an increased aliveness and peaceful sense. Write your top five in a journal so they don’t get hazy. See how they add up here.
3. Act on vibes
This is where we must be warriors. I know personally and from patients how much easier it is to tune into than to act on vibes. Insecurity, ego, lust, and stubbornness can obscure better judgment. Sometimes it takes succumbing to them all to realize you won’t tolerate such battering again. But if you don’t have to take such a bumpy route, try these options.
- If the vibes feel overall positive, go for it and explore possibilities.
- If the vibes are mixed or you’re unsure, take a pass or at least wait.
- If there are just negative vibes, dare to walk away, no matter how tempting the option seems.
Then observe how listening to energy in this way leads you to the juiciest opportunities.
Start listening, deeply listening. I guarantee you’ll learn how to make smart decisions in life. Why? You’ll be operating from a spot inside that’s juicy, core-felt, authentic — not from an impulse to conform or disown your strength. You won’t be seduced by what may look good, but betrays your gut. Intuition is a truth detector.
Judith Orloff, MD, is a psychiatrist and intuitive healer on the UCLA Psychiatric Clinical Faculty. She is also the NY Times bestselling author of The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People, Thriving as an Empath, and Emotional Freedom.
