Man Refuses To Pay For His Young Girlfriend’s Hair & Nails Because He Prefers To Be A 'Different Kind Of Provider’ — But People Strongly Disagree
“In my opinion, being a provider doesn’t mean someone who is going to pay for everything.”
Kmpzzz / Shutterstock.com Jalen Noble, creator, and partner of popular online star Monet McMichael, was quick to offend hundreds of viewers after a recent clip from his guest appearance on the “Don’t Trip” podcast went viral. The episode, titled, “What is Love? Soft Man Era. Get your Girl Flowers!” aired just over a month ago, but has only recently caught the public’s eye following a 30-second viral clip about men’s role as “providers.”
Noble, most famous on TikTok for aesthetic lifestyle videos and, more recently, his vulnerability in sharing his relationship with the beloved McMichael, has always been one to exude open-mindedness.
However, in contrast to the tone of his recent podcast clip, many viewers are suggesting Noble’s simply “faking” this persona on his platform. “He’s making flower bouquets and talking about weaponized incompetence,” one critic said about his page, “but as soon as he’s face-to-face with a man, it’s ‘I don’t be paying for that [expletive]!'"
Noble faced backlash after admitting he doesn't pay for his girlfriend’s hair, nails, or dates — ‘I prefer to be a different kind of provider.’
The viral clip started with Noble’s verbal distaste of the popular “sprinkle sprinkle” TikTok mindset, created by @therealsheraseven on the app. This mindset essentially suggests that modern men should be the primary financial providers in relationships, and if they’re not capable of doing that, they’re not worthy men.
“From what the ‘sprinkle sprinkle movement’ is, men are expected to pay all the bills, pay for all the dates, pay for your nails, hair… all these things,” Noble said. “In today’s economy? That’s a lot of money. Why is that the norm or expectation? What does a ‘provider’ mean?”
Plainly, the expectation is a traditional manifestation of our toxic cultural and patriarchal ideas about relationships. Men should have the most money and “power” in a relationship — being a financial “provider” for your family is a means of proving that status as head of a household. However, times have changed, and the patriarchy’s unfettered ideals have been massively challenged — it’s exactly what makes up a great deal of Noble’s content.
So, what’s making people so upset? Are Noble’s ideas about relationship finances and providers misguided, or at the very least outdated? Many critics seem to think so.
He said the financial expectations for men in modern relationships are impossible and prefers to ‘provide’ for his girlfriend emotionally.
“In my mind, a ‘provider’ doesn’t mean someone who is going to pay for everything,” Noble explained. “I think when someone becomes the mother of your kids, there’s a partnership that’s communicated… that’s where financial ‘providership’ [comes in]. This ‘soft man era’ is a satirical take on this ‘sprinkle sprinkle movement.’ Like, you’re not taking me on a date this weekend? I’m not seeing you then.”
Being that the majority of households in the U.S. are dual-income, there’s not a lot of feasibility to suggest “complete financial providers” are possible in our economy — whether it’s a man or not. Noble does suggest he’s tried to embody being “a provider” in another sense — being emotionally available, providing a sense of safety and security, and being vulnerable in his relationships.
“I think there are some inherently wrong approaches with both sides… the expectation of what a man should provide,” he said. “I’ll never agree with the traditional sense of it because things have changed.”
Despite initially being praised for his views on dating, masculinity, and self-care, they quickly turned on him for his views on "providership."
“What’s gotten a lot of people upset is these views on men being a provider,” @reyahthelastdragon said in her response video. “A lot of people thought he was ‘broke and stingy,’ which is very unfortunate considering his age. Let’s keep in mind: Monet would definitely be the breadwinner considering her following in this relationship.”
Noble has been harshly critiqued for his views, with many suggesting he built a 'fortune' speaking on women’s experiences only to argue a '50/50 split.’
While there is a great deal of support for Noble’s views on providership — especially in light of our current economy — others passionately called him out, suggesting he’s “a rich performer.”
“I do not like it. We don’t know who he is on the inside,” Kiera Breaugh said in a recent video. “I do not like weaponizing your aesthetic for a female audience just to turn your back on them when a man is in front of you. It’s insidious.”
While it’s clear, like many of her supporters echoed, that McMichael is more than capable of both providing for herself financially and setting a healthy standard in her relationship, many couldn't help but get a strange vibe from Noble’s comments. “It just feels performative,” one person wrote in the comments. “Might I add, even manipulative. It feels like he’s using Monet for her power and platform.”
At the end of the day, no two relationships are going to look the same — whether you appreciate traditional standards or completely reject them.
Putting your relationship online opens up all kinds of critique and discourse, but at the end of the day, the only people who should have a say in setting boundaries and expectations should be those in the relationship.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.