11 Little Things Someone Has In Their Home That Reveal They're Secretly Burned Out
Emotional exhaustion can show itself in the state of your home, even if you think you're keeping it a secret.
shurkin_son / Shutterstock Burnout isn't always easy to spot when you're casually interacting with someone, but it can often be visible to anyone visiting their home. Little things someone has in their home, such as piles of unopened mail and half-finished projects, may reveal that a person who otherwise seems to have it all together is secretly feeling burned out.
When heading into their home for the first time, you might be startled, as the emotional state they present during conversations doesn't seem to match the state of disarray you find in their home space. As a visitor, most of us want to be as polite as possible, but that can be difficult when what we observe appears to be a cry for help.
Here are 11 things someone has in their home that reveal they're secretly burned out
1. A pile of unopened packages
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When you walk through someone's door and notice countless unopened boxes everywhere, it can feel a bit overwhelming. There's a good chance they've been too preoccupied with other things to open, let alone notice, that they've so many packages left unopened. Filling your home with unopened packages can feel like clutter. The more clutter they have, the less motivated they will be.
Burnout has a way of dulling our energy and keeping us stagnant. This isn't just for packages ordered online, but also mail itself. Someone who is feeling burned out will let their mailbox go unchecked for so long that it becomes stuffed beyond belief. Even if they manage to bring the mail into their home, they're likely to throw it in a pile that doesn't seem to ever stop growing.
2. Dishes piled up in the sink
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A sink full of unwashed dishes might make a person lazy, but sometimes there is something more going on. Around 54% of Americans feel burned out by home maintenance and household chores. If someone is constantly doing other things, doing the dishes might not seem high on their list of priorities.
One might argue that it is easier to simply place the dishes in a dishwasher and call it a night, but that still takes time. Ironically, burned-out people should wash their dishes by hand because it can actually lower their stress levels. It might surprise you when you visit their home for the first time, but by encouraging them to use other methods to clean the dishes, they might actually find the motivation to get the job done.
3. Overflowing laundry baskets
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Everyone has had an overflowing laundry basket at some point in their lives because they felt like putting off doing their laundry out of laziness. However, for people who are already experiencing burnout, it's something they simply can't do. It doesn’t matter how much they try to hype themselves up. Something in them won't do it. Many will call them lazy, especially if they're women, but the truth is that there is some emotional instability that goes deeper than the laundry pile.
For many mothers, not doing the laundry could be their way of asking for help. New mothers might experience postpartum depression and/or anxiety that is so extreme that they find other outlets, like doing laundry, as a way to cope. Mothers do around 73% of all mental household planning tasks, such as laundry scheduling and grocery organizing. If someone you know is a mother and you notice the laundry pile, then you know that it's just her way of coping with the stress and the burnout.
4. An empty fridge
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Having an empty fridge at home can be a disappointing start to anyone's morning, but having an empty fridge when you are a parent with children is a different type of struggle. Burned-out parents often experience a loss of motivation for everyday tasks, such as cooking and meal planning. When you're chasing around small children all day, it's not surprising to feel drained.
Parents aren't the only ones feeling the strain. Teachers say that by less than a month into a school year, they are already burned out. Children are just little humans bursting with energy, and adults simply can't keep up with them. Food in the fridge or snacks in school might calm them down for a bit, but not long-term.
5. Unfinished home renovations
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Renovating a home is never easy. Many have poured thousands of dollars down the drain and risked relationships trying to turn their house into their dream home. Several difficult decisions are involved in renovations, which may eventually lead the owner to feel overwhelmed and ultimately burned out. Do-it-yourself enthusiasts boast that the hard work you put in is worth it in the end, despite it draining you completely.
Around 89% of DIYers experience "Mid-Project Syndrome," which ultimately leads to them abandoning their projects due to exhaustion and stress. To outsiders visiting their homes, these uncolored rooms with blotches everywhere give them the impression that they're in a construction site rather than a proper home. Not having everything complete also brings the owner's mood down, leaving them feeling unaccomplished and depressed.
6. Burned-out lightbulbs that need replacing
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Self-care doesn't just extend to how you treat your physical body, but also includes your environment. If the maintenance of someone's home is not properly being taken care of, then neither is their mental health. One of the most obvious signs is having burned-out light bulbs that need to be replaced.
Not only does it disrupt the lighting in the room, but it can also be considered strange to those visiting you because a bulb is such a minor thing to be concerned about being burned out. Yet, it does happen, and it's a sign that you're not taking care of your space. While it may sting that other people will notice this, their criticism should be used as a motivator to get to work finally.
7. Books they stopped reading a few chapters in
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As someone who is guilty of purchasing books and then never fully finishing them, it can be easy to blame it all on burning out. However, the truth is that it's often procrastination and other distractions that consume your time. Better time management can help people who are experiencing burnout avoid procrastination. Even if they devote themselves to a chapter a week, it might help improve their mood over time.
As a friend, you may want to offer them a little tough love. Telling them to get rid of the books or donate them will only make them want them more. It's not manipulative if you're encouraging people to do a good deed that ultimately benefits them. Think of it as a reverse psychology method to get others to read more.
8. Multiple empty drink cans
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When we are busy at our computers, we often get complacent or lazy and leave things on top of them. Office or home clutter is strongly associated with burnout and work-related stress. It's one thing to have empty drink cans on your desk if you work from home, but if you don't, it can be considered a problem for your guests.
Recycling can help someone who experiences burnout declutter their home if they are feeling overwhelmed by the mess. If they choose to leave it filthy, then they invite pests to move all over the home, which can make you, as a guest, want to head straight out the door. It's not easy for people with burnout to get motivated, but as a friend, you can always try.
9. Dark or dim lighting
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If you visit a person's house at night who is burned out, you might notice that they rarely have any natural light in their home. They may have dark curtains cascading down their windows during the day. It can all seem a bit sad and depressing. This is because exposure to dim light at night can provoke depression-like behaviors.
Making sure someone’s home is well lit is the easiest way to get them unstuck and cure their depressive episode from burnout. Light therapy has been shown to help improve mental health. Encouraging someone to change the lighting in their dark or dimly lit home may help them overcome burnout and boost their mood to the point where they become motivated enough to address other issues.
10. Neglected plants
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Despite the work that goes into them, taking care of plants can help alleviate mental health problems. As surprising as it may sound, plants offer a sense of alternative companionship to humans and animals. You can speak to them and they will understand you. Their reactions are reflective of your mood and how you treat them.
Spiritually, plants may also be able to capture the negativity around you, which will cause them to wilt at a quicker rate. Feng shui experts say there are some plants you should never keep in your home, as they believe they may bring even more bad luck. If someone you know is burnt out, try giving them a plant to take care of. It might not make them feel better right away, but it will distract them from feeling down.
11. Heavily cluttered spaces
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A burned-out individual will often have the most heavily cluttered spaces the world has ever seen. We're talking about mountains of items that they've collected over the years. While you may be tempted to call them a hoarder, it's not entirely true, as some people aren't emotionally tied to their junk. For people experiencing burnout, the pile-up often occurs because they become too busy with other tasks.
Approximately 80% of Americans feel overwhelmed by clutter, and 56% experience anxiety or stress when their homes are disorganized. One way to get someone to clear their clutter is to hand it off to other people. You can have a garage sale or even hand it over to total strangers to ease the burden of the burned-out person. At the end of the day, a burned-out person may stay agitated and cranky until they get help.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author who has over a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.
