9 Exhausting Habits We've All Normalized — Even As We Burn Ourselves Out
We treat them like no big deal, but these habits quietly drain even the most energized people.
Ann Agterberg | Unsplash Ever feel like you’re repeatedly banging into a wall? It can be hard to sense that we are getting anywhere, let alone making a dent in the Universe. It can feel like we’re in a maniacal rat race; everyone is pining for attention, everyone is competing; and every angle, topic, and niche is used up.
Thinking bigger helped simplify my life, allowed me to stop exhausting myself, and spend more time working with more fulfilling people. It also reduced stress, earned me much more money, and gave me space for other things.
Reducing exhaustion and the time you spend focusing on the rat race will take courage, and some rejection, but no more than before, and you might surprise yourself with what happens when you leapfrog the middle and go high. A lot of this is a game of perspective and perception.
A 2024 study supported that aiming high — while being mindful of your energy levels — will affect how you see yourself. It will also influence how others see you. Hold your composure and price yourself high. Watch how the perception others have of you changes. Watch how your own demeanor and passion morph.
Here are nine exhausting habits we've all normalized even as we burn ourselves out:
1. Interviewing anyone and everyone for articles, podcasts, and videos
Yes, there is value in everyone, but look at what Tim Ferriss (who started as a humble, unknown author) did with his podcast, interviewing people like Schwarzenneger, Tony Robbins, and Jamie Foxx. There are lots of obvious benefits of going straight to bigger guests — quality over quantity.
Many of those guests will have large followings that will learn of the podcast and help promote it massively, not to mention drawing in a bigger crowd to the show. Tim went high from the start and now has one of the most popular podcasts of all time.
2. Taking on as many clients as you can
Aim for five motivated, high-paying clients rather than fifteen low-paying ones, or selling a low-ticket course to thousands. You get the thrill of being able to work with people more closely, for a more satisfying and sustainable fee.
Freelancing can lead to burnout due to factors like inconsistent income, isolation, and pressure to secure new clients. Research shows that managing a smaller number of clients means fewer projects to juggle and less pressure to meet tight deadlines, which can decrease stress and fatigue.
3. Networking without a plan
Or approach the most successful person in the place. Because few others have tried, owing to fear or lack of belief, they are often the ones approached the least.
A similar dynamic is also at play online, when inviting guests for interviews, for example. Few people have the nerve to go high with whom they approach. You might be surprised at who says yes.
4. Asking for small loans
Rather than asking the bank for a small loan with small savings, which positions you as a small fish, save more over a longer (or make more, more quickly using the client tactics discussed above), join forces with other investors, and ask the bank for a much bigger loan. Larger real estate projects, for example, are often more secure, and you will more easily be granted a large loan from a bank for these projects.
Research suggests that lenders tend to have lower repayment expectations for smaller loans compared to larger ones. This is because smaller loans are often viewed more as social gestures or favors rather than purely economic transactions. In these cases, the social value of lending may outweigh the financial risk for the lender.
5. Focusing on smaller dreams, rather than the big ones
Bigger ideas will excite you more. There are fewer barriers because there are fewer people in the race. The number of problems you will encounter in moving towards those huge goals will be the same as in medium-sized goals.
Guaranteed. The problems might be more significant, but there will be around the same number of them. Maybe you want to get yourself bigger problems?
You might as well go huge. You will figure out how to make bigger goals work when you commit to them. “When you commit, creativity will follow.” — American businessman Grant Cardone
6. Settling for practicality rather than going after what you want
Go straight to your true passions, rather than doing what you think you should be doing. Think about what brings you to life. What could you talk about or read about for hours?
That’s your thing, or a good hint at what your thing is. Go there. This is going big. Most settle for average because the average is people-pleasing.
Research suggests that harmonious passion fuels persistence, even when facing setbacks and challenges, and contributes to better performance in the passionate domain. This means engaging in a passionate activity due to a sense of freedom and personal choice, without external pressure.
7. Striving for unattainable perfection
Perfection is never possible, but always go as high quality as you can. Aim to astonish.
I am not spending as much time on each article as I’d like. One day is not sustainable. But I am going big on the idea of writing thirty articles in thirty days. Much better to spend more time on a superb article that goes out less frequently than writing many articles that are merely ‘good’. Case in point. Lesson learned.
Research suggests that while striving for excellence can be motivating, the pursuit of unattainable perfection can be detrimental to well-being. Instead, focusing on progress, learning from mistakes, and practicing self-compassion can lead to a more fulfilling and healthy life.
8. Take short breaks rather than a truly regenerative vacation
Instead of short holidays that could end up being more stressful, take a longer, more involved, less interrupted break somewhere really cool — go for three months instead of three days. Go big on your breaks, make a full reset, and come back to deliver your best work.
9. Expending the same amount of energy on everything
Most of us do the opposite. We take on many things and scatter unfocused energy in many places. Then we’re burned out and overwhelmed, and we think it’s because we’re working too hard.
We’re usually not. We’re working in too many areas. I’m frequently guilty of this. I have to continually assess how many things I need to focus on. I streamline accordingly so that I can go bigger and much more effectively in less time.
Research by the American Psychological Association argues that the brain isn't designed to handle multiple complex tasks simultaneously. Multitasking involves quickly switching between tasks, which incurs a switching cost. This process requires time and mental effort to refocus, leading to reduced efficiency and slower completion times.
When you focus on what one thing matters the most right now, taking a lot of action will come more effortlessly. What is that thing? Choose one or two things, and go all in.
Work on those things intensely, with total presence, morning to night (then take one of those long breaks). Sometimes it takes self-awareness to know we are breaking our backs by thinking too small, swimming with the little fishes.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
