10 Of Life's Most Powerful Paradoxes

Life doesn’t always make sense. What looks like an obvious solution isn’t always optimal for a peaceful existence. For example, trying to be happy makes you miserable. Why? Because the harder you try to be happy, the more you subconsciously remind yourself you’re not. If you wanna live gracefully, you must know the paradoxes of life. I can’t tell you all of them because that could fill an entire book, but the ten I will share are some of the most important ones you should know.

Here are 10 of life's most powerful paradoxes:

1. The growth paradox

I’m a big fan of Eve Arnold. The other day, I was reading her story — Did you know she’s been writing 5x a week since 2020? This stunned me. I genuinely felt like she came out of nowhere. Such is the way of growth.

Growth takes much longer than you think, but when it happens, it also happens faster than you could ever imagine. This is why consistency is such a vital aspect of growth. You must take regular action to receive constant feedback. This enables you to iterate your approach on each attempt. Trying to make massive changes right off the bat is not sustainable or effective. Growth happens gradually, then suddenly.

2. The persuasion paradox

Arguing is the lowest form of persuasion … And guess what? It hardly works. Have you ever been deep in a heated argument, and the person you’re arguing with suddenly realizes you’re right? Probably not. After a heated argument, you usually walk away and get more frustrated because more ideas of what you could’ve said start popping into your head. The most persuasive people don’t argue. They seek to understand by observing, listening, and asking genuine questions to see where the other person is coming from.

For example, my dad had an issue with me leaving the key for the gate in the car when the car wasn’t in use. I acknowledge that our car can be stolen, but at first, I argued that our compound was extremely secure since we had many security measures in place. He still didn’t budge, so I asked him more questions to see where he was coming from — that’s when I understood… My dad’s argument was if someone breaches the security, which is also possible, they have permanent access to the property until we invest hundreds into changing all the locks and the electric gate. I no longer leave the key in the car. Argue less, persuade more. Seek to understand.

3. The effort paradox

Lionel Messi is one of the best football players in football history. He can do everything: pass, shoot, dribble — you name it. When he’s compared to Ronaldo, the distinction people often make is “Ronaldo worked hard; Messi is just naturally gifted.” I call BS. Nobody is naturally gifted!

While we may be born with traits that make us more likely to be successful in a certain domain, none of us were born with innate ability. Excellence can only be derived through practice. If you see someone making a complex task look easy, all it means is the person has put in more effort than others. In a documentary about Messi, it stated that he used to dribble a football around his parent's house, at pace, from as early as 4 years old. This explains why he makes dribbling past players look so easy — he’s been practicing for years.

TLDR: You must put in more effort to make something appear effortless. Effortlessly elegant performances result from a large volume of effortful and gritty practice.

4. The wisdom paradox

“The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.” — Albert Einstein

A few months back, I saw a strange pattern developing on my skin. At first, I thought nothing of it, but then I saw another … and another. In a panic, I rushed to the doctor to check what was happening. The doctor told me I had contracted ringworms — a type of skin infection caused by a fungus. He told me I had probably been in contact with someone (including pets) with the disease and gave me treatment, as well as some instructions to prevent it from spreading.

This experience made me weary — “Imagine how many other infections there are out there that I could catch.” The more you learn, the more exposed you become to the unknown. This should be empowering rather than frightening. Embrace your ignorance and use it as motivation to commit to lifelong learning.

5. The productivity paradox

The longer you work, the less you get done. This is known as Parkinson’s law. Parkinson’s law is a popular adage that states work expands to fill the time allotted for completion. If you wanna get more done, give yourself tighter deadlines. The belief is when given ample time to get something done, your brain searches for unproductive ways to fill the extra moments.

6. The speed paradox

Last year, in April, I moved to Ghana. The intention was to reduce outgoings as much as possible, so I have more money to invest in my growth and development. Many would take my decision to move to Ghana as a step backward in life — after all, my parents worked tooth and nail to get themselves to the UK. But they don’t realize that slowing down gives you time to be more deliberate with your actions.

TLDR: Sometimes, you’ve gotta slow down to speed up. Since I’m no longer worried about large monthly rental payments, I have time to consider my next moves.

This allows me to focus, gather energy, and efficiently deploy my resources. When living at 100mph, you don’t have time to think. If you’re not thinking, it’s incredibly hard to make decisions that are favorable to you in the future. Downgrade to upgrade. Free up your mind to focus on ROI and leverage instead of effort.

7. The money paradox

During the 1980s, renowned investor and hedge fund manager, Ray Dalio, bet against the American economy in an event that changed the course of his life. In Dalio’s words, “I’d lost so much money I couldn’t afford to pay the people who worked with me.” He’s also said he lost so much that he had to borrow $4,000 from his father to pay his bills. But this event changed him. Instead of saying, “I’m right,” he began to ask, “How do I know what’s right?” He used this mindset to build a portfolio that’s resilient to any kind of surprise.

Today, Dalio’s net worth sits at $19.1 billion. You must lose money to make money! Yes, it sucks… but ask any successful person out there how much money they’ve lost to get where they are.

Failures teach us invaluable lessons. I’m not saying you should go out there and squander money, no. But don’t use it as an excuse to stay mediocre. Things can always go wrong — when they do, learn from it. Like Meek Mill says in Ima Boss, “Scared money don’t make no money…” Put some skin in the game.

8. The news paradox

Seeking out more information can prove harmful. This is what Nassim Taleb, author of books like The Black Swan and Antifragile, calls the noise bottleneck. The noise bottleneck posits that more data leads to a higher noise-to-signal ratio, which results in you knowing less. Your brain (and mine) has limited resources spread across several functions. As a result, the more information you consume, the more your cognitive abilities decline. Focus on learning what you need to know to take the next step — everything else is a distraction.

9. The Icarus paradox

In Greek mythology, there was a character named Icarus. Icarus was the son of an inventor named Daedalus. When Icarus learned how to create things for himself, he crafted a set of wings that enabled him to fly. One day, he flew but got too carried away. He flew too close to the sun, and the wings he invented melted. Icarus fell to his death. The moral of this story is simple: what makes you successful can also lead to your downfall. Don’t allow overconfidence to blind you to see the coming disruption.

This is what happened to IBM. They had become incredibly successful selling a wide range of computing products in high demand, but they missed the emerging market of personal computers. Don’t allow your success to blind you. What got you here won’t get you there.

10. The failure paradox

The level of success you attain depends on how much failure you’re willing to endure. More failures equals more success — given you’re learning and iterating from each failure. Our greatest moments of growth often stem directly from our greatest failures.