7 Types Of Lesser-Known Abuse & The Unique Treatments That Help Victims Heal

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When I went through my divorce, I told very few people about it. I felt no one would understand what I was going through.

 Also, I didn’t want to answer too many questions.Of course, the first thing my friends asked me was if I was in love with someone else. I denied their claims. 

The next "natural" question was did my husband beat me? I definitely denied this, too. My ex is a fun, polite, humorous, intelligent person with a great education and career.

Why would I want a divorce from such an excellent human?

I didn't realize it then, but now I know that I was angry. I wondered how I didn't know what was happening around me. I didn’t exhibit any behaviors commonly related to anger, yet I was stewing in it beneath my calm. 

I'd visited a fortune teller and was asked if I was angry. I denied the claims because I didn't feel anger. But, I was because I'd been a victim of a form of abuse that was not commonly known. It was years later after receiving training as a Hypnotherapist did it all make sense.

The abuse was silent and invisible like my anger.

When you know you are hurt, but don't know how to say it or talk about it, you may have been a victim of a lesser-known type abuse and struggling to put a name to what you experienced.

RELATED: I Was An Abuse Survivor And Nobody Knew It, Including Me

Here are seven subtle types of abuse that victims unknowingly endure.

1. Using stonewalling, or silent treatments.

When you say something, and there is no response, you feel as though you're talking to a wall. This makes you feel like you are a nobody and your presence or absence doesn’t matter.

Your partner may avoid talking about their feelings or go silent when you are addressing a pressing issue. 

Stonewalling from your partner is a subtle form of abuse that can have negative affects on your self-esteem and mental health.

RELATED: 15 Tragic Signs You're Stuck In A Toxic Relationship

2. Being dismissed or silenced in public.

When you try to participate in a conversation, you are asked to not say anything. You may be told point-blank in front of everyone, or given a dirty look to be silent. You feel as though you don’t know what you are talking about. 

It’s so rude that everyone else present stops talking. It’s like you got publicly slapped into silence.

3. Sharing inside jokes with others about you.

Everyone joins in on the laugh because they think your partner is funny. No one ever tells you the joke because it's about you. The whole time you are expected to stand by and laugh along while either raging or crying within.

RELATED: 6 Heartbreaking Ways Emotional Abuse Changes You

4. Being forced to go with whatever your partner says.

You dress up and play your part so your partner always looks good. No one suspects what’s going on behind closed doors.

You may often feel belittled as you are forced to agree to all decisions and know you have no say.

5. Being constantly reminded of your past.

When suggest something new, you are constantly reminded of your past. Whether it be past failures, mistakes,or relationships — it's all brought to the forefront. It may even be the same situation all the time. Your words get twisted to prove that you only as good as who you were in the past.

RELATED: How To Know The Difference Between Healthy And Unhealthy Relationships

6. Being isolated from everyone. 

You are stopped from having any conversations with anyone on your own. Also, you cannot have friends of your own. All of your friends are people that knew of your partner first. Even if you met them first, the moment they meet your partner they become fast friends and you feel sidelined.

Anytime you do something nice on your own, your intentions are questioned — borderline suggesting that you have something cooking outside your marriage/partnership.

7. Being told you are always wrong.

Often, you are met with swift rebuttal, no matter the topic of conversation. The fault is always yours and no matter what you do or say you are a liar and always wrong. 

RELATED: I Knew My Boyfriend Was Abusive — But I Married Him Anyway

Where can you find help and support when you have experienced these subtle forms of abuse:

  • Visit a therapist or other mainstream mental health professional.
  • See a psychic, or medium: She might be telling you the truth that you may or may not want to hear.
  • Your church or place of worship: This could be a formal church or any group you hang out with for spiritual support
  • Get Acupuncture, acupressure, reflexology, yoga, and Tai-chi: These methods can help balance the hormones you need for a happy life.
  • Visit a hypnotherapist: There are many ways hypnotherapy can help victims and survivors of abuse, I will detail these more below.

When you are stressed out, unbeknownst to you, your cortisol level goes up. You begin to operate in survival mode — constantly feeling as if you will be attacked. There are also things that happen physically and mentally that can have negative effects.

Common effects of subtle abuse:

  • Feelings of depression, anxiety, mania, or some other health condition. 
  • Your female or male hormones out of balance.
  • Your stomach aches uncontrollably.
  • Pain in the knees, ankles, shoulder, and back.
  • Oversleeping or insomnia.

RELATED: How To Stand Up For Yourself & Be More Assertive With The Person You Love

How can hypnotherapy help address invisible trauma from subtle abuse?

Hypnotherapy is a form of therapy that works with your subconscious mind, where your pleasurable and painful memories are stored unknown to you.

Your conscious mind helps you with logic, reasoning, analysis, decision-making, and willpower. The things you do out of habit, motivated by emotions and feelings, are because of memories organized in your subconscious.

Only through hypnosis can you access your subconscious and work through your emotions and memories that are hurtful. 

When your emotions are high, it is hard to think straight and know what’s right for you. It’s hard to distinguish between what’s right and what’s wrong and both seem halfway good. Hypnotherapy can help you go to the root cause of your pain and help you dissolve the knots you are locked in.

All abuse shatters you in unthinkable ways and the shards are piled up in heaps in your unconscious.

Hypnotherapy helps you become aware of these piles of painful memories. Because everything is energy, you get to transform this energy into something positive after you have received your lessons and healed your hurt.

Some abuses need more than a name to be identified. When you know you are hurting but you don’t know how to talk about it, this is subtle abuse. Initially, you might feel that you are the only one because everyone else suffering like you is suffering in silence, alone.

RELATED: How I Saved Myself From An Emotionally Abusive Man — And You Can, Too

Keya Murthy M.S., C.Ht. is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, Spiritual Life Coach, and Energy Medicine Practitioner. She supports her clients in meeting their goals in the area of personal growth and spritual healing.