If You've Learned These 10 Things Before 40, You're Not Just Aging — You're Thriving
Getting older doesn't guarantee wisdom but if you've embraced these lessons, you're growing in all the right ways.
João Jesus | Pexels Turning 40 (or any age you think is 'old') doesn't have to be the start of the end or lead to a life that needs to significantly slow down. It's all about perspective! Life can be full of positive change, excitement, and opportunities if you choose to see it that way.
Many years of experimentation have provided me with extensive knowledge about becoming successful and rising above the majority. In the process of learning these lessons, I've, of course, struggled, made mistakes, and even failed. Lucky for you, I'm willing to share what I've learned along the way.
If you've learned these 10 things before forty, you're not just aging, you're thriving:
1. Listen to mainstream advice and do the opposite
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It’s quite incredible how ignoring what most people think is correct is often the right path. From what I should eat to be healthy and happy to what I should invest in, the mainstream almost always gets it wrong. My most significant gains have occurred following the alternative media, and people are often shunned as quirky or weird.
When observers perceive nonconforming behavior as a deliberate choice, it can lead to positive inferences of heightened status and competence. This is because it signals autonomy and the ability to act independently.
2. If you can regulate your emotions, you're ahead of most people
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Acting out when seeing red rarely led to anything noble or helpful to yourself or society. The true heroes can keep a cool head when their senses are screaming. This will save you more in life than anything else.
When calm, your mind can think more logically, analyze situations objectively, and make decisions based on reason rather than impulsive emotional reactions. Practices like deep breathing and mindfulness exercises help you become more present and observe your emotions without judgment, which can reduce their intensity.
3. Your greatest strength is the degree to which you don’t think about yourself
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Those who get far develop an identity around doing things, as opposed to needing to feel ready or confident or any other garbage that makes it about you.
Research suggests that the most effective use of one's strengths often involves a degree of flow or presence, where one is deeply engaged in an activity without excessive self-consciousness. This means that while awareness of strengths is important, overthinking or constantly analyzing your strengths can be counterproductive.
4. Expect success to feel weird
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Most people never rise above the pack, either because they doubt themselves or because other people are subtly trying to bring them back to their level. This is to be expected.
You will rise when you know it won’t be easy and drive through anyway. If your expectations of success conflict with your core identity or ingrained beliefs about yourself, achieving that success can create a sense of dissonance and unease.
5. Most of our diet is garbage
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Anything that is even vaguely processed or tampered with (pesticides) and devoid of nutrition is working against you. This is why my diet of primarily animal products these days is laughably minimal in the context of modern society.
The closer your food source is to the farm, the better your mind and body will run. People tend to imitate the eating behaviors of others, including the types and amounts of food consumed. This can subtly reinforce unhealthy patterns if one's peers or role models consume a diet high in junk food.
6. The biggest opportunities are found in good habits, not good ideas
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If you have an idea for something super cool, but your plan for its realization doesn’t consist of consistent habits, that idea will remain in your head.
While good ideas might spark initial motivation, it is the consistent, automatic nature of good habits that provides the necessary scaffolding for sustained effort and overcoming challenges. Research on habit formation emphasizes the importance of strategies like starting small, utilizing triggers and cues, incorporating rewards, and fostering a supportive environment to successfully build positive habits.
7. Never take advice from someone who is less happy than you
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Be polite, smile, and move on. Several cognitive biases can impact both the giving and receiving of advice. Confirmation bias, for example, can make people favor advice that aligns with their existing beliefs and discount contradictory information.
Negativity bias can cause individuals to give more weight to negative outcomes or experiences, which could potentially influence their advice.
8. Most people want an excuse to coast
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How does knowing this give me an advantage? I know that by being ruthlessly intolerant of excuses and always taking full responsibility for everything, I am no longer a slave to my inner fears.
Excuses can act as self-imposed limitations, preventing individuals from reaching their full potential. By shifting focus from goals to perceived obstacles, excuses can justify inaction and stagnation.
9. Boldness is a state of being that will serve you most
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You don’t have to feel bold to be bold. Winners cultivate the habit of being boldly proactive, regardless of their feelings of fear.
Choosing to be bold or adopting a bold mindset can lead to numerous advantages like increased confidence, enhanced performance, and new opportunities. Research has concluded that the key lies in exercising this trait with awareness and balance to maximize its benefits.
10. Your greatest threat to happiness and growth is letting your past dictate the present
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Thinking repeatedly about negative feelings and distress can increase anxiety and depression. A 2021 study found that people in a depressed mood are more likely to remember negative past events and interpret current situations negatively, leading to a sense of hopelessness.
It’s in the mind. You are not a hostage to what happened and what others said about you — unless you think it repeatedly. When we get present, and focus on action instead of self-obsession, we win.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
