If You Notice These 11 Little Things In Someone’s House, They’re Probably Going Through A Hard Time
The things in someone's house could say more about what they are going through than you think.
MAYA LAB / Shutterstock When someone is going through a hard time, their behaviors will change, and they will have difficulty focusing on aspects of their life that do not involve what is causing them stress and anxiety. This can show up in different ways throughout their house, signaling they are probably going through a hard time.
Whether you see an unusual amount of clutter or signs that they are neglecting their self-care, these things can help show the mental and emotional state someone may be in due to difficult circumstances. When combined with other factors, these things can signal a true struggle that is impacting a person’s life.
If you notice these 11 little things in someone’s house, they’re probably going through a hard time
1. Piles of clean laundry that never get put away
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If someone leaves piles of clean laundry around their house that never seem to get put away, they could be going through a hard time mentally. When someone is struggling mentally, they will have a harder time feeling motivated to even do the smaller tasks.
This lack of motivation leads to their home being filled with clutter, which can only further impact their mental health. Sherri Gordon, a certified professional life coach, mentions that, “Clutter and mess can create more stress and anxiety, but by cleaning, organizing, and reducing the clutter, people are able to take control of their environment and create a more relaxing environment that helps them focus better on the more pressing issues in their lives.”
2. Stacks of unopened mail
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Someone may be struggling through a difficult time if they have stacks of unopened mail in their home. This could be a sign of financial issues they are dealing with, and the stress and anxiety that accumulates from these issues.
Once a person misses one bill, they may feel guilty and experience emotional distress that makes it difficult for them to open new mail being delivered to them. This cycle only leads them to feel worse and worse.
“In my experience, episodes of depression or anxiety are often correlated with financial problems. Imagine being unable to open your mail, purely because the stress of your finances makes it too much to cope with – that’s a daily reality for many of the people we work with as financial counsellors,” explains Anna Tiakanas, a financial counsellor for Consumer Action Law Centre.
3. Overflowing trash cans
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If someone's trash can in their home is always overflowing and they never take it out, this could potentially be a sign that they are struggling through a hard time. While this will usually be accompanied by other signs of hardship, an overflowing trash can can show that a person is struggling to even complete small daily tasks.
If the personal hardships they are facing are causing them to feel burned out and depressed, they will start to struggle with finding motivation to get things done. Some individuals may even feel shame for not being able to complete tasks that seem to be so easy for others to complete. However, motivation is still hard to obtain due to their lack of emotional and physical energy, which is caused by their current struggles.
4. Dying plants
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If a person has dying plants all throughout their home, they may be going through a hard time. Several dying plants in someone’s home can, in a way, signal the lack of care a person is giving themselves in moments of hardship.
People and plants both need similar things in order to survive and thrive. If a person is not getting enough sunlight, water, and is having a hard time giving themselves the self-care that they need, chances are their plants are suffering from the same neglect. When personal struggles make it hard to prioritize personal care, it makes it hard for that person to also care for the other living and nonliving things within their home.
5. Messy living spaces
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Having a messy and cluttered living space may signal that someone is going through a hard time. While messes are normal around a house, especially during busy weeks, the issue arises when the mess is persistent and seems to get worse every day.
If the messiness of the living space reaches unhealthy levels that make it difficult to function properly in the space, this messiness is a sign that a deeper struggle is going on in the person’s life. Having difficulty cleaning spaces can be due to mental struggle. However, if this person can find motivation to clean, this could positively impact their mental state and help them cope with the issue at hand.
6. A sink full of dirty dishes
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While most people tend to let dishes accumulate in their sink, those who are going through a hard time will allow these dishes to pile up for weeks on end, until the sink is practically unusable. This is when you can tell that there may be something deeper going on with someone that is causing them to neglect basic duties.
It is not always a sign of laziness. Instead, they could feel too overwhelmed by what’s going on in their life to focus on anything but what is causing them copious amounts of stress. They may feel as though this issue requires more of their time and attention, and by letting it consume so much of their lives, smaller, necessary tasks become harder to accomplish as emotional and mental burnout takes a toll on the person.
7. A bare refrigerator
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If someone’s refrigerator always seems bare and understocked, they could potentially be dealing with something difficult. This could be financial strain or something else that is causing them to have difficulty taking the proper care of themselves.
“It is not unusual for those living with financial hardship to find physical health suffering. This can be the result of poor access to healthy food impacting their nutrition. Not to mention the stress of poverty in itself can cause higher blood pressure. As a result of these physical health effects, there is a tendency for people’s mental health to suffer, too,” explains Crossroads Health, a nonprofit that helps provide individuals with mental health services.
8. Spoiled food
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If someone is going through a financial hardship, there may be a sign of this struggle through the extreme amount of spoiled food that accumulates in their fridge. When someone is overwhelmed with an aspect of their life, they struggle to manage tasks and take proper care of themselves.
This includes cooking healthy meals and cleaning out spaces within their home, like the refrigerator. When they hyperfocus on the struggle, it can drain them not just mentally but physically as well, leading them to neglect self-care-related tasks.
9. A bed that is never made
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While an unmade bed can be a signal of positive traits, when it is never a task that is prioritized anymore by an individual who used to make it every morning, this may be a sign that they are experiencing a hardship in their life. For someone who is struggling, even completing a simple task like making their bed in the morning could be beneficial for helping them manage the feelings that usually result from hardships.
Making your bed in the morning increases a person’s executive function, which the Cleveland Clinic defines as being the “mental processes (executive functioning skills) that help you set and carry out goals.” This directly impacts their ability to also manage their emotions, which could mean that they would have a better chance at overcoming some of the motivation loss that occurs from draining struggles.
10. Curtains that are always drawn
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While curtains being always drawn alone does not always mean a person is facing hardships, this, in combination with other behavioral changes, can act as a signal, especially when drawn curtains in their home are unusual for the individual. If this person has also seemed withdrawn and is no longer taking proper care of themselves and their homes, then it is likely the hardship is having a negative effect on the individual.
Getting sunlight is a significant part of our mental health, and vitamin D is known to boost our mood. If someone decided to never let sunlight into their home, they may no longer care about what is beneficial to them and what will positively impact their mental health. When hardships take over the mind, it isn't easy to focus on things even when we know the impact they’d have on us.
11. Neglected hygiene products
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If someone who once was very consistent with their self-care rituals and always maintained good hygiene now has a bathroom filled with neglected hygiene products, it may be a sign that they are going through something hard. Such a drastic change in their established norms may be due to the mental turmoil they are experiencing.
“It’s also important to separate temporary neglect from chronic patterns. Everyone goes through tough periods where self-care slips, the concern rises when self-neglect signs persist for weeks or months, creating genuine safety risks,” explains Insight Therapy Solutions, a company that provides therapy for individuals, families, and children.
It is important to remember that while each of these things can help you determine if someone is going through something hard, they usually need to be drastically different from what the norm looks like for individuals, and are in combination with other behavior changes as well.
Kamryn Idol is a writer with a bachelor's degree in media and journalism who covers lifestyle, relationship, family, and wellness topics.
