If Someone Is Judging You Online, They’ll Always Comment These 11 Polite Phrases
We've all received these social media comments at one point.
Renko Aleks / Shutterstock Social media can be a powerful thing. There are many positive aspects of using various platforms. They allow you to stay in touch with your friends and family, no matter where you are geographically from them. You essentially have a computer in your pocket at all times, making social media a good way to research and stay up-to-date on current affairs. Gone are the days of frequent trips to the bank. Every branch has its own app that allows you to make payments and view your balance. Technology can be a wonderful tool when used correctly.
Unfortunately, there is also a negative side to social media use. It’s no surprise that people find it easier to speak poorly to one another behind a screen than in person. Comments can become toxic. You may find that even people you assumed were your friends made passive-aggressive remarks on your posts. Sometimes, they’ll try to hide the real malice in their words by using phrases that seem polite, but pack a bigger punch. We can grow obsessed with checking comments and messages online, and when the people in your life are passing judgment on you while pretending to be polite, it can be damaging to your mental health.
If someone is judging you online, they’ll always comment these 11 polite phrases
1. 'No offense, but...'
Jacob Lund
This is a classic phrase people use when they want to say something rude without coming off as the villain. It’s not surprising to see this sort of phrase used on social media. At this point, we all know what follows will certainly be offensive. For some reason, the person saying this thinks that starting the phrase off with ‘no offense’ will make it any less offensive. It’s a tried-and-true passive-aggressive comment to make.
“Saying these prefaces makes almost any comment even crueler. They put a damper on just about everyone’s day when we interact with the bluntness of someone’s snarky remark,” writes a commenter for The Phillipian.
Removing anything from our vocabulary is tough, hard, and a lot of work. But for everyone’s self-esteem, and to maintain relationships with others, we need to find other ways to speak to each other honestly. Ways that aren’t harmful, and then also follow up with a reasoning for such opinions.
2. ‘Just being honest’
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This is a comment that drives me nuts. I’ve heard it several times. When someone doesn’t agree with you on something, they feel like they have to let you know it. Sometimes, it’s unnecessary to comment about your feelings on someone’s post, but people who are judging you online and want to come across as polite will do just that.
‘Just being honest’ makes it seem like they were not trying to be rude. However, it’s always used following an offensive comment. We’ve all been there. Someone will comment something like, ‘I liked your hair better blonde, just being honest!’ While it seems like a compliment to your blonde hair, it’s hurtful because it comes off as though they are calling your new hair color unattractive.
3. ‘Good for you’
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Good for you sounds like it should be a compliment, but when someone is judging you online, they’ll use this comment as an attempt to try to hide their judgment. By now, most of us have come to learn the context in which this phrase is used. However, some people who think they are being slick with their judgmental comments will still try to pass this off as polite.
Making a comment and saying ‘good for you’ can come across as sarcastic. Many think that by putting the word ‘good’ in front of the phrase, it’ll come off as polite. If you notice someone saying this in your comments section, they’re likely judging your post.
4. ‘What a brave post’
Dean Drobot
Sure, this comment would be acceptable if someone were sharing something deeply personal. Let’s say they’ve opened up about a medical issue or are being honest about their mental health struggles. Those posts are brave, and they often touch the lives of people who need to hear that they are not alone. However, if someone is judging you online, they’ll make this comment in jest.
If you post something about your job, your personal life, or even a photo of yourself, and someone comments ‘What a brave post,’ you may think they’re being polite and supportive. However, they are likely judging you, hinting that they would never write what you did online.
5. ‘Bless your heart’
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My mom is from Louisiana. She’s never said this classic southern phrase to me, but I have heard it online a dozen times from her relatives. If I post something even slightly political in nature and they do not agree, they love to comment, ‘Bless your heart.’ Essentially, they are trying to kindly call me unintelligent.
“The sincerity or sarcasm of 'bless your heart' is determined by the circumstances and revealed through facial expression and vocal inflection. It's not for amateurs. It requires skill,” says Southern Living. This, of course, is impossible to read over social media. Someone may be judging you online if they comment with this phrase.
6. 'That's interesting'
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If you post something online and someone comments, ‘that’s interesting,’ they may genuinely mean it. If you’re making an informative post or sharing something personal about yourself, there could be kind commenters who are actually interested in what you’re writing. However, people who are judgmental on social media but want to appear polite might hijack this phrase and use it in a manipulative way.
It’s hard to read tone online. It’s safe to assume that if someone is judging you online, you can likely pick up on what they’re trying to say. If they’re using ‘that’s interesting’ in a dismissive, rude way, they’re judging you. You might want to block them from seeing your posts entirely.
7. ‘It’s not my place to say, but,’
Dean Drobot
This one really gets under my skin. When someone says it’s not their place to comment on something you say and then continues to do so, it comes off as rude. People who may think they’re being genuinely polite with their judgments may see no issue in this. They may think you need to hear their thoughts and deliver them to you in a non-offensive way.
Sometimes, when someone puts you in a situation like this, the best way to reply is to say ‘I see your point.’ “Saying that you understand what someone is saying in spite of the manner in which they’re saying it defuses the situation by acknowledging them,” says Kathy and Ross Petras, contributors for CNBC.
f someone is judging you online and passing it off as polite, it may be easiest to hear out what they’re saying and move on.
8. ‘I’m just looking out for you’
Jacob Lund
When someone tells you they’re just looking out for you online, it can come across as sweet. They might be protecting you or your image, which can be helpful to hear from another person. Social media posts can be taken out of context or paint the poster in a bad light, so having someone look out for you online can be kind. However, the context of this comment matters, and if someone is being passive-aggressive, this is a phrase they are likely to use.
Sharing things online can be difficult. Even just posting a selfie can feel terrifying, knowing that people will judge you. When someone says something to you online and follows it with ‘I’m just looking out for you,’ they may be judging you. Whether it’s your post or the way you look, it’s hurtful either way.
9. ‘I’m surprised you did that’
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Imagine you left your job for a better, more exciting opportunity. You take to social media to tell your friends and family about your upcoming adventure. For the most part, you’ll be met with supportive comments. People who truly care about you will know that you are capable of making the best decision for yourself. However, there will always be a judgmental commenter who will say something they think is polite, but is downright rude.
If someone comments, ‘I’m surprised you did that’ on a post where you are celebrating a big decision you made, it can be a low blow. They may think they are providing you with polite commentary to hide their judgment. It’s pretty clear where they stand when they throw around those words, though.
10. ‘You look different’
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This one is a layered comment, that’s for sure. I recently lost a little bit of weight and felt more confident posting photos of myself online. Then it happened, the dreaded comment on how I look different. Saying, ‘You look different’ is a strange phrase to feel out, especially online. Different in a good way? Different in a bad way? It’s hard to get a read on the person’s true intentions.
If you do look different for reasons out of your control that may make you feel self-conscious, this comment can sting. They’re judging you, but using the word ‘different’ because they think it’s more polite than coming out and saying exactly what they mean.
11. ‘Oh, wow’
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There is no denying the meaning behind ‘Oh, wow.’ Some judgmental commenters may see this as an acceptable thing to comment on online. It can show that they don’t care about your post, or worse, they think it’s stupid.
A thread on Reddit discussed the use of the phrase ‘oh wow.’ “I mean, when I do it, it means you're boring me, and what you're saying is uninteresting, and that's what my autopilot defaults to while I'm thinking of what I'm getting for dinner,” one commentator said. Another chimed in that they found ‘oh wow’ to be a very insincere response to give someone.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
