3 Habits People Develop When They've Been Let Down Too Many Times
Gabriel Cox | Unsplash If there has ever been a season ripe for setbacks or being let down, this is it. And a long season it is — with no clear end in sight. Fortunately, overcoming setbacks is possible if you do the work.
Getting off track doesn’t mean you’re a failure — it means you’re human, just like the rest of us. First, it’s how you look at it. Next, it’s what you do about it. Noticing that you're off track and deciding that you want to get back on track is the starting point. Depending on how far off track you got and for how long, you may not be able to jump right back in where you left off. If you do and it hurts, it might set you back again — and for longer this time. So, take it slowly.
Here are 3 habits people develop when they've been let down too many times:
1. They start small and let good routines grow
Decide what you care about most. Pick just one or two things to start. Let’s say the first one is to eat healthy again. Instead of planning seven days of healthy meals right away, you might want to start with tomorrow’s meals.
Then, you can slowly add another day or two. Easing back into the old routines — or gradually establishing new ones — will guarantee more success in the long run.
Research shows that people who start small and build up slowly are way more likely to actually stick with new habits than people who try to change everything overnight. When you go too hard too fast, you basically guarantee you'll burn out and end up right back where you started.
2. They set reminders for themselves
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Remember to focus first on one or two changes you want to make. Then, determine how you want to fit each of these things into your daily routine and schedule. Set reminders about your new routine. It might be an alarm on your phone to eat a snack at a particular time or to take a walk with the dog. Put them on your calendar and do your best to honor the commitment to do them.
Cut yourself a break! Don’t be surprised if one day life happens and throws your routine off track. It’s your chance to prove how committed you are to making the change — even if only partially.
Studies found that when you tie a new behavior to something specific, like your phone alarm going off or a reminder popping up on your calendar, it makes that habit way easier to stick. People who set up simple text reminders to nudge themselves were so much better at turning those behaviors into things they just did automatically without even thinking about it.
What that means is that even if you can only eat one healthy meal today, it’s better than none. Cut yourself a break and get back to your new habit as soon as possible. Remember the domino effect again.
3. They hold themselves accountable
Another helpful technique to ensure that you're staying on track is to put accountability measures in place. You might want to meet with a "buddy" regularly, share your goals, and talk about the ones you achieved. Be sure to talk about the goals you missed, why, and what you want to do to get better next time.
Work on the basics first because you can work on the details over time as your habits become second nature. Above all else, find the strategies that work best for you.
Research on goal-setting found that when you have someone checking in with you regularly about your progress, you've got like a 95% chance of actually following through. Having a buddy or accountability partner to answer to gives you that extra kick in the pants you need, especially when you're losing steam and really want to blow off what you promised yourself you'd do.
One more essential component of getting back on track is to make this easy for yourself. Change is hard. Breaking old habits and creating new ones can be a challenge, too — especially after a setback.
Make it as easy for you as you can, and don’t beat yourself up too much if you miss something. Just get back to it as soon as you can. If something isn’t working, mix it up. Try something different. If you need ideas, ask for help. There's no shame in that.
Then, choose how you want to show up for yourself. Step into your confidence and allow yourself to get back on track at your own pace. Remember that two steps forward and one step back is still progress. Celebrate the masterpiece in you and give yourself enough grace to allow the work-in-progress to unfold.
María Tomás-Keegan is a certified career and life coach for women, transition expert, and founder of Transition & Thrive with María.
