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What makes a good mom friend?
By BlogHer — Written on Mar 22, 2022
While some friends have stayed with us since grade school, others come in and out of our lives. Over time, our criteria for friends change.
The criteria for an elementary friend might be as simple as living close to each other, a university friend might be someone who keeps the same hours as you, or is in the same classes. Sometimes, once the reason you were friends no longer exists, neither does the friendship.
Yet, others join you at different stages of your life and stay with you for the remainder.
Since becoming a parent, I have been blessed with getting to know a close network of moms who have quickly become my friends.
If You're A Good Mom Friend, You Definitely Do These 9 Things
1. When my kids are sick, you ask me if I am, too.
No one wants their children to be sick. While we can take medicine to counteract our coughs, colds, or flu, most medicines are off-limits for toddlers and babies, making them sick and miserable.
Add in two or three kids sick at the same time, and it is a rough couple of days for everyone in the house. Multiply this by 10 if you are sick, too.
Nothing says misery quite like puking beside your puking toddler. A good mom friend knows this. And while she wants to know that your kids are okay, she knows they are if you are!
2. Texts you to see if you are home so she can drop off your fave treat.
The occasional, "I'm at the bakery, want a cupcake," text is a nice interruption when running down to the local coffee break for a pick-me-up is generally not on the stay-at-home-moms agenda (especially at minus 30 here in Edmonton).
3. She notices little changes you make.
With a lack of daily colleagues or regular adult interactions, a haircut, manicure/pedicure, 1/10 of a pound lost can often go unnoticed. It is nice to have an adult notice you changed things up a little!
4. She encourages your current "thing," and doesn't seem to notice when it falls by the wayside.
It is easier to make your own baby food from scratch, exercise during nap time, and shower before the kids get up when there is one child in the house, or when you have a good sleeper, or when the stars all align at exactly the same time Jupiter's moon is in your orbit.
But things change. New babies may arrive. Two nap times become one ... and then none. Good sleepers start teething. Most importantly, when you pull out the store-bought food pouch you swore you would never buy, instead of your homemade baby food, she says n-o-t-h-i-n-g. Not even a second glance.
5. Saves you a seat at the soccer/preschool/swimming registration while you pick up the coffee order.
No competition here. Besides, if your kids both get onto the same soccer team then you will have someone to hang out with at all those games.
6. You have something in common other than the kids.
While talking about your children is an excellent way to initially bond, eventually, you need to have another topic that keeps you together.
It gets boring to always talk about children, not to mention you are not going to agree on all things parenting, so a common interest outside of the kids is an important fail-safe.
7. "You look tired."
Is taken to mean that you look tired and should get some rest. She's been there, too. You don't take it to mean she thinks you look terrible, or fat, or wrinkly.
8. You would have been friends even without children.
I find that people I have stayed friends with for the long term are people I would have liked no matter what stage I met them in.
9. You stop referring to her as your mom friend, and simply as "my friend Jane."
With any luck, she refers to you the same way.
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Naomi Maharaj is a contributor to YourTango.