Self

9 Things You Absolutely Must Try Before Giving Up On Your Big Dream

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Are you ready to give up on a life-long dream? What is getting in your way?

Are you blocked because this dream requires you to do something new and feels uncomfortable and intimidating?

Are you blocking this dream because you fear failure? Are you scared to go back to school? Does it require you to use some of your life savings or take out a loan to make it happen?

Is the bottom line that you don’t like taking risks?

Maybe you have an overactive inner critic that is always trying to prevent you from doing anything new. Your inner critic often shows up in internal conversations.

The voice is usually critical, hostile, loud, impatient, and nasty. Are you ready to change your life?

Before you walk away from your dream, take some time to reflect and, maybe, try a different career path.

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Here are nine ways to give new life to your lifelong dream

1. Does your life-long dream still stir your heart?

Refresh your memory as to what inspired your vision.

Imagine how living out your dream can impact your life and those around you. Does this dream still excite you?

What will it feel like to live out this life-long dream in your body, heart and head? How will it impact your relationships with friends, family and colleagues?

What changes will friends and family see in you?

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2. What is the downside of not following through on your vision?

How will it influence your physical, emotional and mental health to give up this dream?

Do you feel like you are giving up on yourself? If you no longer have this life-long dream, what will take its place to motivate you?

How will this impact your self-confidence? What can replace this dream, if anything?

At a time like this, you need to be honest with yourself.

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3. Quiet your mind

You have greater access to your inner wisdom when your mind is calm. You will be better able to notice if the voice in your head is coming from your true self or your inner critic.

There are many ways to quiet your mind. A simple way is to find a comfortable place with your feet on the ground and be quiet. To keep your mind open and calm, you can focus on your breath or use a manta (focus words) to help you stay present.

There are many great apps available on IOS and Android that can help you to find a practice. My favourite is Insight Timer.

You can turn many activities into meditation, such as walking, dancing, singing, yoga and Tai Chi.  

A quiet mind will help you clarify what you need to do.

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4. Break down your goal into steps

An excellent way to break through your intransigence is to create a plan of action, breaking down the project into small steps. When you break your life-long dream into smaller steps, the process no longer feels so onerous.

5. Take one small step

Now that you have broken the steps down into many small steps, choose the one you can make happen immediately. Be sure to select an action you know you can accomplish.

The goal here is to help you build the confidence that you can make a change in your life.

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6. Find people with similar goals to support you and hold you accountable

If you have been avoiding your dream for years, it will take some effort and help to get you beyond your impasse.

Invite a person you trust to walk with you as you work to gain greater freedom. This person can help you to be honest with yourself, keep you on track and give you lots of encouragement.

Sometimes it can be helpful to have a professional coach to help you let go of your negative self-talk and welcome the voice of your true self as you re-visit your lifelong dream.

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7. Befriend your inner critic

You have an inner critic, and it will never go away. However, you can learn to notice when it is  active

 It would help if you learned the difference between these two voices. Once you differentiate the tones and feel of each voice, you can learn to keep the negative quiet and amplify the positive.

The inner critic is the voice of the ego that wants to keep you safe by keeping you to what you already know.

If you want to follow your life-long dream, you will need to invite the energy of the inner critic to help you rather than hinder you.

Sometimes it can help to have a conversation with this part of yourself and let it know how it can help you, such as encouraging you to do something new that feels uncomfortable.

When you hear the critical voice in your head, find a practice such as meditation or walking to help you quiet your mind so you can be curious about the truth for you.

RELATED: How To Transform Your Inner Critic Into An Inner Coach — And Be Your Own Spiritual Guide

8. Reveal your true self and pay attention

How do you know when your true self is talking? Your body will feel calm, connected and warm. Your heart will feel open and generous. Your mind will be quiet, and wisdom will come to you without effort.

Take some time to be curious about what you want in life. Is the life-long dream still essential for you? 

Find a practice to help you reveal your truth. Many people find they get insights when they go walking. Find a method that works for you.

The sensations of your body, the emotions and yearning of the heart and the quiet mind will reveal to you what are the next steps for you in life. You will know if your life-long dreams can still go ahead.

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9. Learn and apply the Enneagram 

The Enneagram is a fantastic tool to help you let go of the negative inner chatter and help you focus on your inner wisdom.

The Enneagram is all about learning to be present in each moment. You start the Enneagram journey by learning what Enneagram type you get stuck in when stressed; this provides you with a psychological-spiritual map to stay healthy.

The Enneagram can help you to get clear on how vital your life-long dream is for you today.

If your life-long dream is still important, you will find a way to make it happen. You will need to divide the process into steps and set a timeline to make it happen. Get all the people who believe in you and know you well to challenge and support you on the journey.

If you realize your life-long dream is no longer relevant, make the time to discern where you need to put your energy for the short-term and long-term.

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Roland Legge is an author, Certified Spiritual Life Coach, and teacher of the Enneagram. He helps people connect to their inner selves and find alignment with their highest purpose and values. 

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