Self

Get It Together: 13 Signs Your Life Is A Hot Mess

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messy woman

We all have heartaches, down periods, tribulations, and stressors in our life. When you take a mental photograph of your whole life from birth to today, chances are you're going to have some serious grey and black splotches.

But overall, you wake up each day and do what you have to do. You've got it together. Unless of course, you're a hot freaking mess!

No doubt, if you're a catastrophic mess, people know it.

The bad news is most likely, people are judging you or being empathetic toward you. The good news is everyone becomes a mess now and then. But when your life has a constant orange roadblock sign in it and everyone, including yourself, decides that your life is a big pile of sh*t, that's where the problems arise.

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Here are 13 signs your life is a hot mess.

1. You lack focus.

Your inability to focus has caused you so many problems that even you can't begin to count them.

2. You feed into the drama.

You're always in a fight with someone — never the same person, but many people and most of your relationships are marked with a damaging tone. Most likely, you're choosing to befriend, have sex with, and love people who treat you terribly, and then entwine you in heartache and stress.

3. You spend money faster than you make it.

You're not able to budget your money even if you're making a decent salary, and your job stability is a laughing matter.

4. You've burned all your bridges.

You have burned necessary bridges, which has made your life tougher. In some cases, the bridges needed to be burnt, and in others, they were clearly your fault. You did this because you were panicking, angry, upset, or embroiled with a toxic person who turned your life so upside down  and you let them!

5. You have mood swings.

You're happy one minute and then the next, you're a wreck. You lash out at people and find yourself profusely apologizing, only to then do it all over again.

6. You're pitied by everyone you know.

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People have pity for you and sometimes it's deserved and out of legitimate hardships. Other times, it's due to the fact that the person doesn't understand how you function.

7. You avoid the people closest to you.

Your dearest friends, who love you despite everything, are there for you — to a point. They have stopped extending their hand and offering too many favors because they don't want to enable you.

8. You look for an easy way out.

You're always looking for the easy answer or a quick fix to make things better, rather than do the hard work to make real and permanent life changes.

9. You have at least one enabler in your life.

There's always some enabling you to continue to live your life recklessly.

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10. You still haven't gotten over past heartaches.

Your list of past heartaches is extensive, long, and completely heart-wrenching. In this way, it makes it easy for someone to understand why you're a hot mess.

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11. Your family life isn't the best.

Most likely, you've got a conflicted family life and one that's marked by absence, drama, or coldness. It's these dark roots that taught you that the chaotic way is the best way to live.

12. You might be an addict.

It could be sex, drugs, gambling, shopping, or drinking. It could be anything, but if your life is peppered with addiction, you might be an insanely hot mess.

13. You rely on others to fix you.

It's not unusual for you to look to some guru, religious or other people for guidance. Of course, a few months later you're over it and onto the next person or fad.

Laura Lifshitz is a voice-over actress, comedienne, former MTV personality, and Columbia University graduate who writes about divorce, women’s issues, fitness, parenting, marriage and more for YourTango, The New York Times, DivorceForce, Women’s Health, Working Mother, Pop Sugar, and more.

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